Episode 4

Vic and Philippa, Sober, alcohol free stories, from falling down the stairs to Taylor Swift!

Published on: 27th June, 2025

 Hi everyone, and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria, and I don't drink. Today I'm talking to Philippa. Philippa's. Drinking was a way to mask anxiety developed through trauma at an early age. In her relationships, drinking was a central fixture until a fall down the stairs filled her with shame and planted the seed and dawning realization that continuing to drink was really no longer an option for her.

Transcript
Speaker:

. Hi everyone, and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria, and I don't drink today.

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I'm talking to Philippa.

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Philippa's.

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Drinking was a way to mask anxiety

developed through trauma at an early age.

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In her relationships, drinking

was a central fixture.

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Until a fall down the stairs filled

her with shame and it planted the seed

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and the realization that continuing to

drink was really not an option for her.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Hi, Philippa.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: Hi.

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. vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: It

is lovely to have you on tonight.

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Thank you for persevering with the,

technology and trying to get on.

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As always gonna spend a little

bit of time getting to know you

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and understanding your journey.

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So the thoughts and feelings that

were going on before you decided to

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stop drinking, and the situations

that led you to make that decision.

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So I'll just ask you to tell that story

and then we'll see where we go from

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there and where our conversation leads to

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Okay, that's fine.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: So tell

us a bit about yourself and your story,

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

okay, well I am 52 years of age now.

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I'm a mom of three.

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I work in mental health care.

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I began drinking at quite an early age.

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I'd say about 14

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

usual.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Same as me.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

The usual teenage stuff,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

at the park or, sneaking

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around the garages or whatever.

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I liked it.

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I enjoyed it and

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Actually when I was like 15 or whatever,

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it was quite easy to get into pubs in

those days and be served under age.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so my tolerance was, you know,

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quite high for that age as well.

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Um, and it, it never stopped.

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, Apart from obviously when I had

the children, And I'd always

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been quite an anxious person.

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and it masked it.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

to me it was, you know, I needed it

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to, so I didn't have the anxiety.

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and it made me feel confident and

I thought it made me funnier and

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I was better to be around and.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it did wonderful things

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for me, and it didn't.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

No, it is funny, isn't it?

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I so many people's story starts that way.

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That kind of awkward teenage feeling

and the anxiety and obviously trying

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to understand yourself and wanting to

fit in and wanting people to like you.

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And a lot of people have had that

kind of beginning and then they've

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drunk alcohol and all of a sudden and

they've got all those they thought

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they didn't have, like the confidence

and like you've just said, I.

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And then you just don't realize, do you

just how, how it can, how it can end up.

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Anyway.

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Tell me more.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I suppose like growing up, I didn't

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have, a terrible childhood or anything.

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I didn't have the greatest either.

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My mum and dad split up when I was

quite young, when I was six, and I,

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it was quite volatile relationship.

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They had.

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I was very clingy with my mum, my mum

and dad, both used to like a drink.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I grew up drinking around me.

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It was very normal to me.

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And , I never questioned

that, , it wasn't right.

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I had to go to boarding school at the

age of six 'cause my mum was diagnosed

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with cancer, which was probably one

of the first times, , the big stress

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for me with my anxiety starting

was been separated from my mum.

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Because you don't understand

at that age, do you at six and

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then put him to board in school.

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and it was around all that

time they split up as well.

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And I saw some things, you know, that I

probably shouldn't have seen at that age.

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and it may, it just made me so

anxious and I think that's why I

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always found alcohol such a crutch.

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It was just normal to me.

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, It'd always been normal to me as a child,

and like mum would have lots of dinner

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parties and they'd, they'd all be drunk.

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And I, I'd never questioned it, , I never

thought, 'cause I, I didn't see other

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people's families or go or ever think,

well, their family don't do or anything.

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It, it was just normal.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

That just carried on.

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And when I left home, I

had my first son at 21.

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it slowed down a bit.

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Then I still like to have a drink.

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I drink with my mom, probably

on the Friday night and we,

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have a nice evening or whatever.

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And I didn't work out with my son's dad.

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not long after I met my husband

and he liked to drink as well, so.

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It was basically a

relationship made in heaven.

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we had some great times,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

when we moved in together quite quickly,

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and it was like for the first 18 months

when we were, trying to get to know

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each other, we used to row a lot.

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Free drink these rails.

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And I think it made us realize,

we were gonna end our relationship

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if we, didn't try and control it.

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So we went through years

thinking we had it under control.

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I moved up north when I was around.

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26, and pregnant with my daughter.

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not long afterwards, my mum died,

which was a very big blow to me.

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I think I masked it with alcohol.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so we would drink.

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In the evening, we, you know, we

would just, he would finish work, come

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home every evening at seven o'clock.

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We'd have a drink start at seven o'clock.

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I would, have each night

two bottles of wine.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

went on for many years.

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Um, and like through life, you know,

when things were stressful, um.

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I would sometimes then

drink during the day,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

or if I was doing housework

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'cause it's so boring and

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it a lot more interesting 'cause

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I wasn't working at that time.

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I found being a housewife, very boring.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

I did as well.

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To be fair.

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I found it really quite dull.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

It, it was, it was really boring.

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And my husband would say like, you know,

we should have some alcohol free evenings.

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'cause you know, we, we both

knew we'd drunk too much.

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We just really enjoyed it.

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So what I'd do is if he was

working on a late shift, I'd

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drink during the day as well.

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Then, and have the equivalent.

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Of what I'd normally have in the

evening, which a few times backfired.

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'cause he'd come home with a drink.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh, no.

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have to double drink.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah, yeah.

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I, yeah, there, there, yeah.

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Yeah.

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It was, it was,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

was a job in itself.

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But, yeah, it was, but what I was doing,

if I was drinking during the day, I'd.

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I'd like possibly go out to the shop

and I'd buy a bottle of vodka and I'd

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think, right, I'd only have a couple

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: last

me through the week and I'd just have a

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couple, you know, like when I'm at home.

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But it was never like that.

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and, you know, sometimes I, I

could have had nearly, well,

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basically the bottle, and I'd take

myself off to bed then because.

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I knew he knew, he would know.

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I just knew it.

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And sometimes like he, he might ring

and I might have only had two, but

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he could always tell from my voice

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

can, can't

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: he,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: can tell.

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can tell now though, can't you?

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If you speak to somebody on the phone

and they've had a glass of wine, I can

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tell straight away it could just be one.

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But I know we thought we were

clever though, didn't we?

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

You think you're so clever and you think,

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yeah, people are so stupid and you,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

normal, you don't think you're drunk.

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Do.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: No.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So, it was causing some issues.

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he was not happy, he's

coming home to that.

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And he did say actually, but when he used

to drive home, the living room, light

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was out and he knew I'd gone to bed.

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He was so relieved,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Right.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

relieved.

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And he's told me since, you

know, it was getting to the

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stage where he had had enough,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Were you

argumentative then when you were drinking?

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I could

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if I, so 11% wine was my, like, drink.

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So if I went over the 11.5%,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I was argumentative.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

he was really against me drinking 11.5.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So I had initially given up a couple of

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times, because I knew it was a problem.

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That's the thing.

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I knew it was a problem.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so in my thirties I did, a

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hope detox through the doctor.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and it was quite successful.

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and I think that time

I managed six months.

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And then there's been a couple

of other times where I've

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managed up to three months.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

but the thing is I've always thought

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I could go back to moderation.

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and I think unless you've got superpowers,

moderation just does not work.

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'cause I guarantee if we, we said, right,

well, you know, you've done three months,

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let's just have a drink twice a week.

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And I guarantee within a week we

were back to, we were back to normal,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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Well, the thing is, if you could

moderate, you would've moderated

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in the first place, wouldn't you?

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You'd have thought, oh, I think

I'm drinking a bit too much.

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I'm gonna knock that on

the head and drink less.

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but you didn't and I didn't.

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think like it's, it's kind of a bit.

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Silly for us to think that we're gonna

be able to moderate, but I see it a lot.

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You see it a lot in Facebook groups.

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People asking, don't you?

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Well, you know, I just wanna have one or

two, or , just at the weekend or stuff.

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And I see those and I think, I

don't wanna break their heart.

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But I really wanna say to them, moderation

is just, it's just a putting off the

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inevitable game because you'll end up

back where you were You'll end up having

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to stop in the end anyway, so you've

got all the pain to go through again and

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all of that turmoil of can I, can't I?

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How many, what time?

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All that nonsense.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

things so much more complicated and

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it's on the mind even more, and I dunno

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

you, but I've, I'd rather go without

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them, have one glass or two glasses

of wine in the first place because I.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

I never drank for like just having a

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lovely tasting drink with my dinner.

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I mean, you can do that with a Coca-Cola.

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I did it because I wanted

to get a bit tipsy.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

That's why I did it.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

exactly.

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So, yeah.

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You know, the moderator, you

know, it didn't work anyway.

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I suppose.

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I had a rock bottom.

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back in, 22, it would've been,

we'd gone down south, to see my

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husband's grandmother, and we

were gonna spend the night there.

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she was being cared at for,

at home by my mother-in-law.

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I'd had more, 'cause it was a social,

family together, a social thing.

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So I had more my normal quota.

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I think I'd had three bottles that night.

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we'd gone up to bed, and I'd

forgotten to take juice up with me.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: and

I went to go and get some juice and I fell

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from the top of the stairs to the bottom.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh my

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: Um,

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and.

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I didn't break anything, but I was

very bruised and, in a lot of pain.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: my

daughters were there and witnessed it.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

was so ashamed.

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And I, I, my husband was staying at his

brother's round the corner actually, and

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I'd wanted my husband to come and when he

was there I was yelling at him and they

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were like, should we get you an ambulance?

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And I was like, I don't want an ambulance.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

And anyway, I went to bed and I got

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up the next day and felt like death.

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I just knew I had to stop.

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I didn't stop then.

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It was quite a while

afterwards as it happens.

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But that's the time I knew

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I need to stop drinking 'cause

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I'm gonna end up killing myself.

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so it was at the beginning of 23.

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. I'd been, I've been in my job

and that, well, I'd been in

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my job for a number of years.

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I was transferring to a

different place in it.

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and that was on January the, I

think it was the 22nd I'd started.

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So when I have that drink that first

night for me to tell him about the new

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job, my husband, about the new job.

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And then I said, and the

next day I'm giving up.

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and that's what I did.

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I gave up that day,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Amazing.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

th of January,:

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I didn't do it through the, and I'm

not advocating this for people to do.

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I think it was in the past I had given

up, so I was knowing what to expect.

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so I didn't do it through

the doctors or anything.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

did do it on my own.

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I was lucky.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I would tell anyone to

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please see your doctor.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if you are giving up drinking,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and I just took it day by day.

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I knew that I was never gonna go back to,

you know, even think about moderation.

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I knew this was it.

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And in, I think two months after

giving, I'd been taking antidepressants

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for the past 20 years and, anxiety

tablets for the last 20 years.

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Within two months of stopping

drinking, I was off all my medication.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

It's crazy,

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it was just absolutely mad and I was

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like, oh, right, I'm not depressed.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

been,

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: was.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've been in such a vicious circle.

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I mean, it's such a vicious circle.

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And it was like coming out of this abyss

and thinking, well, this is really good.

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Going to bed sober and waking up sober.

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And

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: it

is just now completely changed my life.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

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squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

really has.

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vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

So did you get any help at all?

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:

Like, did you join any groups or did

you literally just do it by yourself?

326

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: I've

joined, I joined some groups, on Facebook.

327

:

'cause when I gave up some years

ago, quite a few years ago, I used

328

:

to, I joined a group called Hall.

329

:

Hello, Sunday morning.

330

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: okay.

331

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

which was in Australia and I, it

332

:

was brilliant, but they stopped,

traded for,, and I've never been

333

:

able to find a group like it since.

334

:

But I'd read William Porter's book,

alcohol Explained, and there's

335

:

a group of that on Facebook.

336

:

So I joined.

337

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

338

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

that's what I used and was

339

:

reading other people's stories.

340

:

I read anything that I

could get my hands on.

341

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

342

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

anything on TV just to get as much

343

:

knowledge as possible about alcohol,

and how it affected the body.

344

:

How it affected, you know,

everything in your day-to-day life.

345

:

And just got as done as much

research on it as possible.

346

:

And I'm still doing that to this day,

347

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah,

348

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

everything I can.

349

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah.

350

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I watched a documentary on

351

:

YouTube called, rain in my heart.

352

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Haven't seen that.

353

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've watched about three or four times.

354

:

it's a very deep documentary, but it

355

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Right.

356

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

the life outta me

357

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Okay.

358

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've felt I need to kick up the backside.

359

:

I put that on.

360

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: That's

361

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so I,

362

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Hmm.

363

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

yeah.

364

:

So I'd recommend anyone

365

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Okay.

366

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

watch that.

367

:

I mean, it's over 20 years old now.

368

:

but it, it's so personal.

369

:

To the people involved in the

making of it and their journey

370

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

371

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and it does give you a reality check,

372

:

so yeah, anything I could do to keep

myself researched about it, I do.

373

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

well it's having the knowledge isn't

374

:

it, of really what it does to you.

375

:

That book, William Porter's book,

William's been on the podcast

376

:

actually, and we talked a little

bit about his story, but that book

377

:

explained the anxiety stuff very well,

378

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah.

379

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

because I also had some anxiety.

380

:

Before I stopped drinking, which

disappeared when I stopped drinking.

381

:

No surprises now that I've, you know,

more about it and that I've read all that

382

:

stuff, that I realized that that's what

was causing it all in the first place.

383

:

But I just had no idea because I thought

that was what I was having relax me.

384

:

And that's what everybody says

and that's what everybody does.

385

:

We're like, go chill out,

have a glass of wine.

386

:

, That's what they would say.

387

:

I didn't drink to the extent

that you've said that you were

388

:

drinking, but I just feel like.

389

:

could very easily have got

there because it was increasing.

390

:

And um, and yeah, the anxiety was real.

391

:

I mean, gosh, I felt horrendous the

days after having a heavier night.

392

:

Just this, the hatred of myself and

the concerns about, what did I say?

393

:

Or if I'd rung someone or be

checking my phone if I texted

394

:

someone something stupid.

395

:

Just a horrible feeling, isn't it?

396

:

And it just gets exacerbated every time.

397

:

So, yeah, I know how that feels.

398

:

It's great to get rid of that, isn't it?

399

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Oh, absolutely.

400

:

I mean, I dunno how I did.

401

:

For so many years, I would work 14 hour

shifts, come home, still drop my normal

402

:

equivalent between 10 and say one,

403

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

404

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and have to be up at six, half

405

:

six, and then do the same again.

406

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

you must have been knackered,

407

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: I,

408

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

knackered.

409

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I, yeah, but I didn't think so at the.

410

:

Like, I'm in a bad mood.

411

:

I'm, I'm in.

412

:

Well, no, I, I was just, I, I just

went on and on and on for years

413

:

and like, if, if I'm not in bed by

like 10 o'clock now, I get upset.

414

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

415

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

you know.

416

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: me too.

417

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I just like my bedroom now is my

418

:

sanctuary and I love to bed now

419

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

420

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

go to bed at say one o'clock and I'd

421

:

blink and it'd be time to get up.

422

:

I never used to feel like I've slept well.

423

:

I wasn't sitting,

424

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

hadn't really.

425

:

Yeah, exactly.

426

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so, yeah.

427

:

How I did it for so many years.

428

:

I dunno.

429

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

430

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

But my husband also gave up

431

:

drinking as well, I have to say.

432

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Did you give up at the same

433

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah, we,

434

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Oh, well done you

435

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Because he, 'cause I think

436

:

where I've given up in the past.

437

:

Then he had slowly introduced maybe

one once a week having a drink once

438

:

a week and then his creeping up and

I, I just turned around this last

439

:

time and I said, it's impossible

440

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

441

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

to be able to give up drinking if you

442

:

are drinking in the house as well.

443

:

I, I just can't do it.

444

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah.

445

:

Well that's, I mean, what a great

partnership that you did it together.

446

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Because there,

447

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: really

448

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: was,

449

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

admirable.

450

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

we'd always been drinking buddies.

451

:

So you did have to worry then

with the relationship, how,

452

:

you know, how was it gonna be.

453

:

and you know, luckily for us,

we've just gone on strength.

454

:

Strength and, and you

know, he loves it as well.

455

:

You

456

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah,

457

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if only, you know, hindsight is such

458

:

a wonderful thing, but if only we'd

known then how wonderful life could

459

:

be if we tried it 20 odd years ago.

460

:

but we have now.

461

:

So that's the main thing

we are living right now.

462

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

tell me a bit about your life now.

463

:

What's different?

464

:

What do you do that's different?

465

:

The two of you?

466

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Right.

467

:

Well we, I'm a bit more daring now.

468

:

I feel more inclined to do things.

469

:

so I've started going to concerts.

470

:

, I'm a massive fan of Taylor Swift.

471

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Oh, me too.

472

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So I went to see her last year.

473

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Wow.

474

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and then we went to see Pink

475

:

and we went to see James Blunts.

476

:

, We've been going on holidays.

477

:

Um, I was worried about the, well,

the first year we didn't go on

478

:

holiday because I associated holiday.

479

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Drinking from the airport to the airport

480

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it literally was, we'd get there at

481

:

four in the morning on the airport and

that is where the holiday had start.

482

:

I'd be sort of comatose by the time we

got on the transfer to the accommodation.

483

:

So the first year I didn't go on holiday

'cause , I thought I'd give in basically.

484

:

I didn't think I'd be strong enough.

485

:

But we went last year and.

486

:

It was amazing.

487

:

I'd been so worried and worked

up about it, and I got a little

488

:

library with me to take on

holiday, , for books and everything.

489

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

490

:

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it was different.

491

:

so like in the evenings you'd

have your meal and then you'd

492

:

be like, well, what now?

493

:

because you, you, you'd normally,

you'd be going from bar to bar, so

494

:

we'd just have a nice meal and then

we'd go and find somewhere for a nice

495

:

dessert and then we'd go back to the

accommodation and we'd be on TikTok.

496

:

but once it's mind over matter, once you

get used to it and it's your new normal.

497

:

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

I think most people go on holiday

498

:

and they probably overindulge

and I was no different.

499

:

So I don't really know what just

happened there, but mid-conversation,

500

:

uh, the platform decided to fail.

501

:

So I'm just gonna finish up by saying

thank you so much for Philippa coming

502

:

on and sharing her story with us.

503

:

Um, sounds amazing.

504

:

She really did go from drinking quite

a considerable amount of alcohol and

505

:

that being such a big part of her

life and her marriage, um, to managing

506

:

her life completely differently.

507

:

And, um, and.

508

:

Was about to tell us about the wonderful

holidays that, that she's had since.

509

:

So I'm sorry that we didn't

get to hear that bit.

510

:

My holidays have been immense since

I stopped drinking, and that was

511

:

something that I was quite afraid of.

512

:

Um, I had always thought that it

might be a bit boring if you weren't

513

:

drinking alcohol, but as it turned

out, they, they're actually amazing.

514

:

And I do have earlier nights, I don't

drink Illuminous drinks anymore, and

515

:

I'm certainly not sitting around.

516

:

The pool with a glass

of wine at five o'clock.

517

:

But what I do do is really

appreciate my downtime and I

518

:

love being there in the sun.

519

:

I love the sand, I love the sea.

520

:

All of those things.

521

:

I appreciate that bit more.

522

:

And well, the biggest thing of

all is that I've never hung over

523

:

and, , I don't come back home feeling

worse than I did before I left.

524

:

So pure rest, , holidays are a proper joy.

525

:

. I'm gonna say goodbye now and

thanks again to Philippa and

526

:

I'll see you all next time.

527

:

Thanks.

528

:

Bye.

529

:

Thank you for listening.

530

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

531

:

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

532

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

533

:

Dot com.

534

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

535

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

536

:

And don't forget.

537

:

You can make your catch phrase.

538

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

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VICTORIA Banat