Episode 10
Vic and Dupe - Sober, alcohol free stories and the truth that set her free!
Hi everyone and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria and I don't drink. Today I'll talk to Dupe. Dupe from the outside appeared to be winning at life, the family, the house, the job health, but she felt that something was missing. It just wasn't quite right. After deciding to try a 21 day alcohol free challenge, Dupe realized that alcohol had been holding her back, and by letting that go, her truth would set her free.
Transcript
Hi everyone and welcome to
Sober Alcohol Free Stories.
2
:I'm Victoria and I don't drink today.
3
:I'll talk to Dpe.
4
:Dpe from the outside appeared to
be winning at life, the family,
5
:the house, the job health, but she
felt that something was missing.
6
:It just wasn't quite right.
7
:After deciding to try a 21 day
alcohol free challenge, Dupee
8
:realized that alcohol had been
holding her back, and by letting that
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:go, her truth would set her free.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: .Hi
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:Dpe.
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:It's lovely to have you on.
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:It's great to have you here.
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:Thank you for making the time.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Oh, well thank you Victoria.
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:It's lovely to be here.
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:Appreciate it.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: you.
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:And you're in Mar at the
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: I'm
in, yeah, I'm in Mars at the moment.
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:Yeah, that's a whole story.
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:But yeah, I've been Marrakesh, well,
I say we're, we're in Marrakesh,
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:but we're sort of in between.
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:We go in between the UK and Marrakesh,
but uh, mainly based in Marrakesh.
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:Yeah.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Amazing.
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:Okay, well maybe we'll hear about that.
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:I dunno if that forms
part of your story, but,
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: as, um, um, as
I always do with my guests, I just really
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:wanna talk to you and find out about.
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:you, uh, did, like how you
decided that you wanted to be
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:somebody who wasn't drinking.
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:Um, what that story may have led to.
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:Um, so just really interested
to hear about your journey for
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:want of a better words, um, how
you got to where you are today.
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:Um, any tools we'll probably come
back to, um, towards the end, anything
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:that you could share, top tips for
someone who's listening, but the hope
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:is that someone will be out there
feeling perhaps like you did before
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:you decided to stop drinking and
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: with what you
say and decides to be curious enough,
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:curious enough to give it a bit of a go.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: let's see how
we get on, but I'm gonna hand over to you.
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:Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
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:Dup please.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Yeah, of course.
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:Well, thank you.
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:As I said, it's lovely to be here.
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:And so I'm dupee, I'm an alcohol free
wellbeing and transformational coach.
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:And I also, um, do human design.
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:And so if you'd asked me five years
ago, would I be not drinking and, um.
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:Having written a book on not drinking,
had a pod, got a podcast about not
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:drinking, started coaching people on it.
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:Yeah, I, I probably would've
laughed and poured myself another
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:drink just to make a point.
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:, But five years ago, actually,
I was just looking at the date.
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:I was actually on Kilimanjaro, , Mount
Kilimanjaro was climbing that for charity.
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:And um, as you can imagine,
that was:
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:So I managed to do that
before the world changed.
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:And um, so yeah, so this time, five
years ago, I was on a mountain and I
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:think that's where my story starts.
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:So I would always have called
myself a normal drinker.
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:I.
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:, I probably started drinking
properly when I went to university.
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:I, you know, you get there.
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:I, I didn't really, I was quite a nerd
at school, wanted to get good grades
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:and so didn't really dabble that much.
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:Tried it 16, 17, but wasn't,
wouldn't say I was drinking
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:anything,, it was every now and again
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm-hmm.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
or whatever.
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:Um, but yeah, when I got to university,
I remember Fresher's week and that
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:was really the introduction to.
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:To drinking.
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:It just felt like in order to
fit in, in order to join all the
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:clubs and be the students, um,
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm-hmm.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: and
live the student life you had to drink.
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:And so I think that's
where it really kicked off.
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:And I remember again, it's
amazing how our brains are formed.
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:And just the thi the beliefs we have.
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:You know, it's so ingrained in
our society that actually to be
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:an adult means you need to drink.
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:And that's obviously not the
case, but that's what we are,
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:that's what we brought up with.
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:And then, , when I got to
university, I remember there were
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:two people in my halls of residence.
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:I.
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:I was in a hall of probably about 180
people, and there were probably more
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:than two, but I knew of two, and I
did know quite a few people there,
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:but most people drank and these two
didn't, and they were ostracized.
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:No one spoke to them.
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:They had no friends, and they
sort of hung out together.
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:And so again, my mind 18-year-old mind
was, well, if I don't drink, I'm not gonna
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:have any friends, and so I need to fit in.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: yeah.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
all of it's culture and you know,
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:and then I ended up working in
the city and it was very much a
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:work hard, play hard mentality.
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:I worked in quite a male dominated
environment for, uh, the beginning.
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:And, um, it's better now, I suppose.
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:Um, but again, as I went through my
career, as I sort of moved up the ladder
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:again at senior leadership levels, it
was probably more male dominated than
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:female and it was very project based.
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:So I traveled the world,
I worked all over,
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:.
Yeah, there was one year I did 13 countries in a year where I did
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:pro a project, a program there.
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:So I was in South Africa, I was
in Dubai, I was in Malaysia, in
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:Russia, and uh, yeah, all over
the, all over Europe, the us.
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:And so again, with the travel
business, travel with working.
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:Doing very long hours.
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:You know, our release
was let's have a drink.
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:And, um, it just became part of it.
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:And I also spoke at a
number of conferences.
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:And so those conferences, they tend
to have, you know, wine after the
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:conferences and, , you'd go out for
dinner with clients and all of that.
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:And it just felt like.
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:It was just part and
parcel of what we did.
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:And you know, whoever you
surround yourself by with,
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:that's who you tend to become.
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:And so for me, that was just normal life.
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:And then in my thirties, I became a mum.
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:And then I think, you know, the
whole mummy wine culture thing.
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:I,
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:I, um, yeah, I think I struggled
more than I let on at the beginning.
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:Um, and so again, I.
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:It was a release, it was a
way of just feeling like, ha,
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:this is my time, mummy time.
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:You know, you can have a drink now,
now that our little one's in bed.
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:, But as I said, I never
thought there was an issue.
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:I never thought there was a problem.
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:I enjoyed it.
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:I didn't feel like, you know,
I felt like I could stop.
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:If I didn't want to
drink, I wouldn't drink.
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:There were days I wouldn't, and there
were days I would, and , I didn't feel
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:like it was something that I needed to.
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:To stop.
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:But then towards a couple of years
before I stopped drinking, I . Started
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:to just feel like I didn't enjoy it.
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:Red wine was a huge aspect of what I, one
of the things I drank, I loved red wine.
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:We lived in Spain for a year.
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:I met my husband in Spain.
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:We loved going to vineyards, we
loved going wine tasting and,
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:and I felt like I was a bit of a
connoisseur when it came to red wine.
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:And it was the very heavy,
bold red wines that I enjoyed.
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:And I.
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:It got to a point where I'd drink
a glass of that and I'd be like,
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:this isn't going down well at all.
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:It's not working.
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:So I then, , decided.
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:I didn't think, oh, let me stop.
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:I stopped drinking.
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:No, wouldn't do that.
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:Um, I thought, let's go
onto the lighter red wine.
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:So I went onto the lighter red
wines, and then I thought, well,
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:that's not going down either.
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:So then I went onto the white wines and
I was never a white wine drinker, but it
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:just hit me that why do I feel like I, if
I'm not enjoying this, why am I drinking?
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:So by the end of it, I
was probably drinking.
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:The things I could drink were gin
and tonics and champagne, and that
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:sounds completely pretentious, but
that was, they were the only things
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:that I could drink and not feel.
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:Like awful with, and I'd got rid
of shots years and years ago.
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:I remember doing shots in my twenties
and that never, never went down.
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:Well, so I, I got sensible and
thought shots are not a thing for me.
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:, So like strong things like tequila
and things just was never my bag.
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:, But yeah, and, and I think I
was beginning to think, well,
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:what's the reason I'm drinking?
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:Why am I drinking and do
I am, am I enjoying it?
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:, Has it just become a habit?
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:I think I'd realized it had just become a
habit again, not that it was something I
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:was dwelling on or thinking I need to do
something about, but I was mindful that
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:it just wasn't as much fun as it used
to be and I wasn't really enjoying it.
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:Anyway, I climbed a mountain, I
climbed Kilimanjaro, , and that
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:was six days on the mountain and
we had, yeah, no booze obviously.
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:Had had a glass before, had a
champagne before we went up the
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:mountain, onto the mountain.
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:And then I remember racing back
and wanting one to celebrate.
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:Of course, that's what you do.
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:, But on the mountain I was like, wow,
this is,, it was an amazing experience.
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:I remember I.
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:Just the scenery around
me, the vastness of it all.
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:And you feel very small, but
then you suddenly start thinking,
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:well, what's life about?
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:What's this all about?
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:And I had this real sense that there's
more, and I was meant to do more.
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:And we were, I said we
were doing it with charity.
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:It was a really good cause.
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:, And I just felt like there was something
niggling in me that there was much more
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:to what I was meant to be doing in life.
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:And I would say.
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:That wasn't maybe the first
time that that had happened.
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:I remember before saying I was
going to do Kilimanjaro watching,
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:the Greatest Showman and.
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:Bursting into tears because I suddenly
thought, I've not got the passion that
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:this guy, you know, Hugh Jack was so
passionate and you were watching this
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:movie and I, I dunno if you've seen
it, but for me it was, it was quite, it
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:ended up being quite an emotional movie.
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:And it's ridiculous now when I look back.
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:But it was because I felt, I think,
I felt I was missing something.
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:I was missing the passion.
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:And then I said, okay, I'm
gonna climb Kilimanjaro.
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:And that for the first time
in a long time, I felt like
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:I was doing something for me.
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:I was really coming alive.
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:I was.
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:Going on these walks with my friend
'cause we decided to do it together and
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:it just felt like we were working towards
something new, something different.
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:And so, , I said, I came down the
mountain and then the whole world changed.
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:So I didn't really have a chance
to really think about a week later
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:we were working from home and
then it was official lockdown.
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:And so, , didn't have a chance to
really think about it, to celebrate it.
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:So it's really odd to think,
actually it's five years ago that's.
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:Quite bizarre considering how much
has changed in those five years.
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:, And then I sort of ended up on the
treadmill and we were all, you know,
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:again, I remember all the WhatsApps
when I, I've got a 10-year-old daughter
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:now, but she was what, six at the time?
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:And so she's 11 on Friday.
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:Um, but she was six at the
time and she was basically,
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:.
You know, she was at home, but I was working quite hard on Zooms.
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:I was on Zoom calls.
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:I was working with a Danish
company at the time, and so I
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:remember just being on calls from
like 7:00 AM till 7:00 PM and I.
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:I remember we went working from home,
we were living at work and it was, it
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:was just a constant treadmill thing.
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:And it got to about October time and
I thought, this is not good because I
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:was the people and purpose lead for my,
for my team at the time, so I've always
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:loved people, I've always done coaching,
mentoring, and then in this role,
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:this was all about wellbeing and just
making sure the team was also, and then
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:coaching them and everything else, but.
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:Wellbeing was obviously a massive part.
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:So I was telling everyone else, make
sure you're getting away from the screen.
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:Make sure you're taking
time, going for your walks.
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:And there I was just sort of
like, you know, zombie, not
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:looking after myself very well.
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:I'd always, I've always exercised.
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:I probably was, but I didn't feel
like I was really taking time out.
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:It just felt like work and family
were the only things that I had
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: And you
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: and,
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: to do
more than anyway than ever because
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Exactly.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: wasn't it?
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:So yeah,
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
you're right.
248
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: probably
wasn't quite enough to support.
249
:Yeah.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Yeah, exactly.
251
:So then, , then my church at the time said
they're doing an initiative 21 days gives
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:something up and it came straight to me.
253
:I'm going to not drink for 21 days.
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:And that thought was, it was
an interesting one because I
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:tried your dry Aries, I tried
Lents, I'd done all of that.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm-hmm.
257
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
never really felt committed to it.
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:I never felt like it was something
that I needed to do or wanted to do.
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:So I'd do it.
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:I'd get to the Thursday and
say, oh, I've done so well.
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:I've done a whole week without drinking.
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:And that was literally the
weekday, well, I'll drink on
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:the weekends because weekends,,
I'll just not drink in the week.
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:I'll drink on the weekends.
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:And then by the time Monday came, you're
like, well, I failed, so there's no point.
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:So generally that was how it went for me
and, but this time around felt different
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:and the day before it all kicked off.
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:I poured a glass of fizz and as
a last hurrah, and I had this
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:glass and I probably had two sips
and my stomach started churning.
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:And I remember thinking,, this isn't good.
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:Why is it my stomach churning?
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:Why, you know, what's this about?
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:And then I had this real sense
that the truth will set you free.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm-hmm.
275
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: didn't
know what, free from what If you looked
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:at my life, I had a really good life.
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:I had a good job, lovely family,
lovely house, , everything was G good.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm-hmm.
279
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
but I was, I was so, I was like, well,
280
:what the truth will set me free, what?
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:You know, and I probably wasn't
very fulfilled with my job at the
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:time, but that wasn't something
I was really dwelling on.
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:And so all these things.
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:They've come afterwards.
285
:But I did the 21 days and during that
time a few things happened, which made
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:me think, okay, I'm going to keep going.
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:And so I did and I kept going.
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:And 2 21 days has now turned into what?
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:Four and a.
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:Four, maybe four and a half years.
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:So four and a bit years.
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:So yeah, it's, um, it's been a worldwide
and,, I'm so grateful that I did the
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:21 days because yeah, opportunities
have happened, life's changed so much
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:and it's incredible what you can do
in five years versus, you know, when
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:you're not drinking versus when you are.
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:So, yeah.
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:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Well,
it's phenomenal really, isn't it?
298
:And we were, were sort of
saying . You don't, you don't
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:really know what's coming, do you?
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:It's
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
302
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: how are
gonna feel when you stop drinking.
303
:You're, you are really just
stopping drinking, or I think you
304
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm,
305
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: are, you're
just changing what you have in your glass.
306
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
307
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
and that can be really hard.
308
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
309
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: some people
it can be really, really difficult.
310
:Some people will find that easy, but it's
never usually that that's all it was.
311
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
312
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: that thing
about the truth will set you free.
313
:And all of those feelings that you
were having, something was missing.
314
:And, it's interesting that since you've
stopped clearly just by looking at you and
315
:no, no one else can see, but you can see.
316
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Hmm, Hmm.
317
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: So it obviously
has set you free and enabled you to go and
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
319
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
do wonderful things.
320
:That's the message that when I started
this podcast, it's one of those things, I
321
:didn't think this was gonna be something
that I really learned or spoke about,
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
323
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: has come
through a lot for me and it's making me
324
:think about it a lot, much I've gained
325
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
326
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: stopped.
327
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
328
:Yeah.
329
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: It with you.
330
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
331
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
a bit about your life.
332
:So what's, what have you been
getting up to, Mar Is that something
333
:that's involved in your story or
334
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Yeah, so, , America, she's relatively
335
:new, but it all sort of ends
up being in America, I suppose.
336
:So the 21 days happened and I discovered.
337
:An alcohol free fizz, which was
a complete game changer for me.
338
:And the strange thing with it, there were
so many synchronicities, coincidences,
339
:whatever you wanna call them,
340
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
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:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
in those 21 days that really made
342
:me feel like I was being guided in
some way as well, which was amazing.
343
:But.
344
:I, , remember, I don't really know how I
came across it, but remember reading an
345
:article about this alcohol free fizz from
a really well known wine journalist who
346
:knew all the really good wines and said,
this is the best fizz they've ever tasted.
347
:And they highly recommended
in the alcohol free space.
348
:And there wasn't much.
349
:Four and a half years ago, there
were, there weren't many options.
350
:Um, and then I remembered I
had a bottle in my cupboards.
351
:And you might be thinking, hold
on a minute, what's that about?
352
:How did you have a
bottle in your cupboard?
353
:So this was November I stopped.
354
:November 9th was the first
day I stopped, I suppose.
355
:And , in the summer someone had
come round with, uh, for lunch and
356
:brought this bottle off for dinner.
357
:I can't remember, but brought
this bottle with them.
358
:And I remember looking at my husband
and I was like, what the hell?
359
:Especially as then they proceeded to
drink Hawaiian, which I thought was rude.
360
:So it's like, why have
you brought me this crap?
361
:Anyway, I remember putting it in the
back, in the cupboard and um, and
362
:I remember reading this article and
seeing the picture of this bottom and
363
:thinking, I'm sure I've seen this.
364
:Why does this look familiar?
365
:What's that?
366
:, It was racking my brain thinking,
I don't, I've never heard of it.
367
:I've not seen, I can't
have seen it before.
368
:I, I'm a drinker.
369
:I know all the champagnes,
like proper champagnes.
370
:I don't know this one.
371
:But then it kept niggling me that
I know this, I've seen it before.
372
:And then I had a flashback to this lunch
and I remembered it was in my cupboard.
373
:So I went in and I started looking.
374
:I was thinking, is it here?
375
:Am I making this up?
376
:Am I going mad?
377
:But there it was.
378
:It was like, it was waiting for me
at the back of the cupboard and I.
379
:I got it out and we were
doing, a girl's night on Zoom.
380
:And I remember I poured this glass
because I knew everyone else would be
381
:drinking fizz and I didn't want to, I.
382
:I hadn't told anyone.
383
:I wasn't what I was doing.
384
:And so it was, it was early, early, early.
385
:And um, I fully expected it to be vile.
386
:And so I remember thinking, right, I've
just got to pretend as I drink it that
387
:it's just what I normally drink and
engage with people and everything else.
388
:We all sort of did the virtual cheers
and I sipped it and I was like,
389
:oh, oh, it's actually quite nice.
390
:And that was the first.
391
:Sort of for me, the first thing of,
oh wow, this is, this is interesting.
392
:So hold on.
393
:If I can have a drink that I like.
394
:'cause I said I like drinking champagne.
395
:If you remember, , have that feel good
the next day and still feel like I'm
396
:joining in, then why would I drink
the stuff that makes me feel awful?
397
:So that was just, that was number one.
398
:Then I discovered a TED Talk
or a couple of TED Talks, and
399
:then I discovered podcasts,
400
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
401
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
I started learning and realizing
402
:that there was life after booze.
403
:You know, for me, my brain was, if
you don't drink, you are boring If
404
:you don't drink, I don't trust you.
405
:If you don't drink, there's
something that's happened.
406
:If you don't drink, it's
for religious reasons.
407
:There was no reason to stop if you.
408
:Didn't have a problem.
409
:I put that in inverted
commas,, that was my mentality.
410
:And here I was hearing about people who'd
stopped drinking and were loving life.
411
:And then I read the unexpected joy of
being sober and I was just like, this is
412
:all very different to what I, I thought.
413
:And so my brain was obviously changing
and I, I did a course and joined a
414
:group and, and did all sorts of things.
415
:And, and that to me just gave me a
completely different perspective.
416
:And then along the way, . I
ended up getting like
417
:headhunted for a massive role.
418
:I decided I wanted to become a coach,
and so started training as a coach.
419
:I then, in the January start, took
up yoga and I've now done yoga
420
:pretty much every night since then.
421
:That was January, 2021.
422
:I started running.
423
:I did a 10 K program in the February.
424
:I've now run two marathons.
425
:I've written a book called A
Cocktail of Clarity, how to
426
:Ditch Drinking, embody Joyful New
Identity and Thrive Alcohol Free.
427
:I've said that with company called Thrive
Alcohol for the Read it Free Limited.
428
:I've got a podcast, thrive Alcohol Free.
429
:I've since then, became a qualified
transformational coach in:
430
:And then I went on to do
sober wellness coaching in 22.
431
:And, so yeah, so I'm doing, I've
done that and I'm coaching people.
432
:And then I, then in June last year,
I left the corporate world and
433
:after 20 odd years, and I'm now.
434
:Coaching full time.
435
:So a whole whirlwind of things
have happened over the past four
436
:and a bit years, which have kept
me on this journey and probably
437
:helped me find my authentic self.
438
:And I know we all talk about authentic
self, but really I feel very much
439
:like this is where I need to be.
440
:This is where I should be.
441
:And, , I'm loving it so.
442
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
443
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
when I said, if you'd asked me
444
:five years ago, would I be here,
there's no way on earth, I just
445
:wouldn't have seen it coming at all.
446
:But it's been the best thing, um, ever.
447
:So, yeah.
448
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
449
:Amazing.
450
:Gosh, what a journey.
451
:That's like a, that's a
transformation for you, isn't it?
452
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah,
453
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: to end.
454
:Like
455
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
absolutely.
456
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
completely different world.
457
:And again, like it's not necessarily just
because of, it's not just the, the drink.
458
:It's like your whole outlook changes and
459
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
460
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: realize
that, that you are, you are bigger
461
:than that and there's more to you.
462
:Imagine what would've happened.
463
:If you didn't like, I
wonder what you would be
464
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
465
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
right now if you didn't.
466
:Like,
467
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah,
468
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: you be doing?
469
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
I haven't thought about that for
470
:a long time, but you're right.
471
:It's um.
472
:It is amazing.
473
:, And I say all those things, not to
sort of say, oh wow, look at me.
474
:It's more about this is the
potential and possibility and I'm
475
:very much like everybody else.
476
:There's nothing, there's no reason
why anyone else can't do this.
477
:Right?
478
:So, but also I think, . And you to, you
touched on it, but I really do think, you
479
:see in technicolor, you walk around in
a bit of a gray, fog and, and actually
480
:when you stop drinking, you see the
potential, you see the possibilities.
481
:So if I look back to my
life, you know, before I.
482
:Where would I be now?
483
:Probably still climbing a ladder where
the ladder was against the wrong wall.
484
:Still sort of pushing to, to
get promoted and thinking that
485
:was what it was all about.
486
:Not really experiencing the little things
too for me, one of the things I think I.
487
:I've really benefited from is just
seeing the little joys in everyday life.
488
:I love going for walks.
489
:I love seeing butterflies.
490
:I love just looking up at the stars
and they bring me joy every day.
491
:And that doesn't cost you anything.
492
:It doesn't, , but actually you,
I didn't notice those things or
493
:pay much attention probably into
like climb Kilimanjaro and then.
494
:Afterwards.
495
:,, I was quite frustrated I think with where
I was and I was sort of accepting of it.
496
:And I do the, what I'm sure a lot of
people could probably resonate with,
497
:where you've had a crap day at work or
something's not quite gone to plan or
498
:you're not being valued or whatever.
499
:You've not got the
promotion that you wanted.
500
:And you would have a few drinks to drown
your sorrows, and then you'd put the world
501
:to rights and you'd say, I'm changing it.
502
:I'm doing something different.
503
:I'm gonna go somewhere where
they, they see my worth.
504
:And then the next
morning you are hungover.
505
:So you wake up and you're just
like, oh, well it's not that bad.
506
:I'll stay, they'll, they'll eventually
recognize me, blah, blah, blah.
507
:That's the sort of cycle
that you go through.
508
:And for me, I think I'd given a lot
of excuses to things that really I
509
:should have said, no, this isn't right.
510
:Enough's enough.
511
:I need to move on.
512
:And would I have done,
if I'd stopped drinking?
513
:Probably not.
514
:I'd probably still be going
in that repetitive loop.
515
:But what actually happened was
about a month or so in, they said,
516
:I heard something, did get some
good news about work, and I was
517
:just like, this is ridiculous.
518
:I'm getting to the point now
where I know that I'm not really.
519
:Getting what I need from it anymore.
520
:And I'd been there for a long time
521
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
522
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
and I just felt like, okay,
523
:I'm open to something else.
524
:I didn't pursue anything else.
525
:I just thought I'm actually open to it.
526
:And all of a sudden people were
reaching out to me and I was getting,,
527
:having conversations with people and
they were like, you wanna come here?
528
:Do you wanna do this?
529
:And just being open and seeing things
slightly differently is something that.
530
:You benefit from, but you're
absolutely right, it is not the drink.
531
:So as a, as in my role now as a coach,
I very much, I love, obviously I'm
532
:all about people stopping drinking.
533
:That's absolutely , I love people
to do that, but I want people to
534
:realize that that is just the start.
535
:And where I take them on is on
that journey through to freedom.
536
:So it's not the, the
ditching drinking yet.
537
:We'll work on that.
538
:We'll get that done.
539
:But it's the what next
and how do we create.
540
:How do we first gain clarity,
confidence, energy, passion and purpose?
541
:And then how do we go on to
create and live the dreamies
542
:life that we want to live?
543
:And that could be, you know, that
could be whatever you want it to be.
544
:And my success in your
dreamies life are not the same.
545
:But how do you go on to
create that for yourself?
546
:And so that's why I help people with now
547
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: coach.
548
:The dreamiest life.
549
:That's what, that's the dream, isn't it?
550
:Let's live the
551
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: it's,
552
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: life.
553
:I
554
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: yeah.
555
:Yeah.
556
:Yeah.
557
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: I think
there's a lot to be said for the,
558
:, you stop, you stop looking outwards
your, , to sort of to tell you
559
:who you are and how good you are.
560
:stop doing that.
561
:I think when you start to
gain some confidence, which.
562
:Almost everyone I know who has stopped
drinking, their confidence has improved.
563
:it's almost like you start
to believe in yourself again.
564
:And then once you, once you are able to,
to realize that actually I don't need.
565
:That leader to tell me that I am enough,
and actually I might prefer for somebody
566
:very different to tell me that I'm
567
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
568
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: and, and I
can tell myself as well all of that.
569
:I, I, I didn't have any of that
capability when I was someone who
570
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
571
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: And
I, I really don't know why I, I
572
:don't profess to have like the
answers to why, but I know it to be
573
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
574
:Hmm.
575
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: And
now I do have all of that I
576
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
577
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Very clearly.
578
:I, there are people that I have
met in my professional life
579
:that no longer look to and think
580
:your validation is what I need.
581
:It's, , it's, it's more
people, people like yourself.
582
:Like if I meet inspiring
people now it's that ladder.
583
:Putting the ladder up
against the right wall.
584
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
585
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: And you can only
really do that when you have that clarity,
586
:which comes when you are not drinking.
587
:It's like this
588
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah,
589
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: little
590
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: yeah,
591
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
along thing, but it's true.
592
:, And it's so hard to know
that that was gonna happen.
593
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
And it is, it's trusting the process
594
:because I think, you know, I remember
having a conversation, um, just before
595
:the 21 days were up and I was, I
was on this call, zoom, call with.
596
:The group, this group that I joined,
and they were all talking, it was
597
:amazing people sort of three months,
six months, maybe a year ahead of
598
:me, and they were talking about
this pink cow and talking about all
599
:these experiences they were having.
600
:But I was so challenging.
601
:I was so adamant that I was gonna drink
at Christmas and New Year, and I was
602
:like, no, it is all well and good.
603
:I'll do it for, I'm gonna do the
21 days and then I'm going to stop.
604
:And actually, as you say, when you're
around people and they're sort of saying
605
:all these things, you then have to,
you either even you make a decision.
606
:You either think they're talking crap
and No, I'm just going to carry on as is.
607
:And whatever I've experienced is not valid
and I'm going to go back to what everyone
608
:else does 'cause this is what the norm is.
609
:Or you say there might be something
in this and you trust the process
610
:and you see where it goes.
611
:And so I encourage people to do like
a, don't think it's forever, don't
612
:think you need to stop drinking.
613
:I do it, the 21 day challenge,, for
people to explore, being alcohol
614
:free, that's all it's about.
615
:It's not about saying, I'm
not doing this ever again.
616
:I'm doing this forever.
617
:It's just actually saying, I'm going
to give myself 21 days and I'm gonna
618
:see what happens in those 21 days.
619
:And I provide a load of resources
and tools and, and then we have
620
:group coaching and, and all of that.
621
:And it really, you know, by the end
of 21 days, most people have sort
622
:of seen it slightly differently.
623
:And then you decide what you do next.
624
:You know, that's what it's all about.
625
:It's about trusting the process and
it's about doing something different,
626
:not feeling like you're stuck.
627
:. And I, and for me, a lot of
the quit lit, I love quit lit.
628
:I love podcasts, um, alcohol free
podcasts, but a lot of the quit
629
:lit I read at the time, people had
generally hit a rock bottom or they
630
:were, , really struggling or they'd,
needed some sort of intervention.
631
:And so that's why I wrote my book.
632
:'cause I really feel like it's a spectrum.
633
:And about 80% of drinkers
are gray area drinkers.
634
:And that means that, you are, if you're
a gray area drinker,, you're obviously
635
:not,, needing medical intervention.
636
:You're not teetotal.
637
:Um, but that can be a spectrum as well.
638
:So, you can be anywhere on that spectrum.
639
:And I never think it's helpful to
talk about how much you were drinking
640
:or how much you are drinking.
641
:'cause the amount I'm drinking is
going to be very different to yours.
642
:But that doesn't mean that.
643
:Both of us can't stop.
644
:If we think internally that we
life could be better in some
645
:way without it emotionally,
spiritually, physically, or mentally.
646
:And if that's the case, that's
the question you should be asking.
647
:Not have I got a problem?
648
:Am I an alcoholic?
649
:They're not helpful questions.
650
:The question is, what could life,
would life be better without it?
651
:And if you think it could then take
a, take a break or, you know, educate
652
:yourself or do, you know, listen
to, listen to the podcast and, and
653
:see, see where you go from there.
654
:But it's, it's about giving
people permission regardless
655
:of how much they're drinking.
656
:And.
657
:I think at the time when I wrote my book
in April,:
658
:books that were saying that message.
659
:So it's, um,
660
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: they
661
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
it's important for me.
662
:Mm-hmm.
663
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
when I stopped, you are right.
664
:And most of the books were kind of, there
would've been some kind of rock bottom.
665
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Mm-hmm.
666
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: didn't
really have a rock bottom.
667
:I had a kind of, I, I think I knew
for quite some years I drank too much.
668
:I drank more than my friends.
669
:I drunk.
670
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Mm
671
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: quicker.
672
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: mm.
673
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: I drink quicker.
674
:Anything.
675
:Like I drink tea and coffee
quicker than most people.
676
:I just, just something I do.
677
:But obviously with Boo, that
doesn't help you very much.
678
:um, and when I stopped.
679
:a big decision for me because
I, I didn't, I kept questioning
680
:if I was bad enough to warrant
681
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
682
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: drinking.
683
:It was this
684
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
685
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: like,
conversation I kept having with myself,
686
:and I think I knew that I should stop.
687
:So, but that's what you are saying.
688
:It's that
689
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
690
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: I, of course
I should stop because I had a feeling
691
:that things were gonna be better if
I did, but I just, I clung onto it
692
:because everybody drinks, or I thought
693
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm
694
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: drank.
695
:Less people now.
696
:I think there's more people
stopping now, which is
697
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
698
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: But your
book would be very helpful for
699
:those great, great area drinkers
700
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
701
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
just shine a light on that.
702
:And, you know,
703
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
704
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
it's okay to question it,
705
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
706
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: even, even if
you are not in the depths of despair,
707
:because it's, it's just as valid, isn't
it, to make a decision to stop doing
708
:something that's not serving you well.
709
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
710
:And I also think we don't appreciate how
much of an impact it does have on us,
711
:regardless of how much we're drinking.
712
:You know, it, it impacts our
sleep, it impacts everything.
713
:Um, but more importantly, it takes up
a lot of mental capacity that we don't
714
:appreciate is there, and you might think,
I'm only thinking about it when it.
715
:When I'm drinking at the point
of drinking, but no, you're not.
716
:You know, if you think about any.
717
:The lead up to it.
718
:If you know you're going out in the
evening, you might start thinking
719
:about about two in the afternoon.
720
:What am I going to drink tonight?
721
:How many am I going to have?
722
:Or if you're trying to moderate,
well, I'll only have one tonight.
723
:I'm not going to have more than that
and I'm only going to drink a red wine.
724
:I'm not going, you know, and,
and that takes up the capacity.
725
:Then you drink and then afterwards you
wake up at three in the morning generally,
726
:because that's when your body starts
to try to process your, the alcohol.
727
:And that's when you sort of wake up and
think and start, be operating yourself.
728
:'cause you've drank more than you
thought you were going to drink.
729
:Then the next morning you
wake up, you're feeling a bit.
730
:A bit foggy headed, you're not
quite a hundred percent on form
731
:just because that's, it's in your
system and that's what alcohol does.
732
:And then by the time you get back to
six o'clock, you start all over again.
733
:And then it's constantly in your system.
734
:So you never actually have this clear
minded clearheaded clarity, which I
735
:call my book of cocktail of clarity.
736
:Um, because it's just a constant,
it's just constantly there.
737
:And what people, another thing
people aren't aware of is that.
738
:Alcohol can stay in your
system for up to five days.
739
:So if you've been drinking since you
were 18, 19, 20, whatever, and you've
740
:only had a break, that you know, you
only, even if you drink three times
741
:a week, the likelihood is alcohol has
been in your system all that time.
742
:You know?
743
:So then thinking about that,
what's that been doing to you
744
:and, and are you really living?
745
:On form and capacity to where you
could be living or are you not?
746
:And so, yeah, so I I I, I never say any
of this from a judgment perspective.
747
:But I just think a lot of people just
do not know the facts of alcohol.
748
:So another thing I say is, you
know what everything alcohol's
749
:giving you maybe then research it
and see if that's actually true.
750
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
751
:Oh yeah.
752
:I mean, that was eyeopening
reading some of the facts and,
753
:and actually what was happening.
754
:Like, I would, I would have a, um,
a drink before going to a social
755
:event because I thought it would
relax me . But actually I, I also
756
:had some anxiety and, well, I didn't
757
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
758
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: that
was feeding into the anxiety.
759
:And if I.
760
:And now I can go to a social
event completely fine because I
761
:don't have any anxiety anymore.
762
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
763
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Like it's
this kind of like circular thing.
764
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
765
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: there's
so much to learn about it.
766
:I thought William Porter's
book was great when I,
767
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
768
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: was
relatively new to stopping
769
:drinking because that helped me to
understand just some of the facts
770
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
771
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
what was going on.
772
:Um, you mentioned a couple of things that
might be helpful to some other people..
773
:. You mentioned a, that was
774
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
775
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Do you
mind sharing what it was called?
776
:Because that
777
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Yeah, so it was, it was naughty.
778
:, N-O-U-G-H-T-Y.
779
:Yeah.
780
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: was wondering,
was it naughty when you were speaking?
781
:Because
782
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
783
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: tried
that quite near the beginning and
784
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah,
785
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Amazon
and they also sell it in Waitress.
786
:I
787
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
they do.
788
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: else,
789
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
they do.
790
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: places.
791
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
792
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: and did,
was there any, so you mentioned
793
:the unexpected joy of being sober.
794
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Hmm.
795
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: any
particular podcast that you listened
796
:to that you thought was very helpful
797
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
I listened to euphoric.
798
:Um, the podcast and I listened
to the Alcohol Free Life podcast,
799
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Okay.
800
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: and
again, it inspired me to create my own.
801
:So episode 74, comes out on Thursday,
so I've got quite a few, um, guests
802
:who I've interviewed and um, so
feel free to check that out as well.
803
:Thrive our call free podcast.
804
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: Oh,
definitely will, definitely will.
805
:Um, I love a podcast.
806
:I think they're great and I'm
so grateful you've come online.
807
:I, um, I had seen some stuff on Instagram
that you were doing, and I thought it's
808
:just a really great vibe and you can tell.
809
:I know everybody else can't see you,
but you can tell from your smile.
810
:It's just obviously this life
is just one that you've built.
811
:That is wonderful and thank you for
sharing it with us and somebody can
812
:see, this is something you can achieve.
813
:You don't, it's, it's not a really
horrible drudges thing you are doing
814
:if you decide to stop drinking, it's.
815
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: Yeah.
816
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: it, try
all the time, but like, it, it
817
:can literally change everything.
818
:It's not just about what you're drinking
and you're just good enough without it.
819
:You don't, you don't need to have
boo in your glass to enjoy anything.
820
:Um,
821
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
and that's a massive, that's a
822
:massive thing that you raise.
823
:Then a lot of my clients.
824
:It's that worthiness, it's feeling
like you're worthy of doing it
825
:for yourself and that you're
actually good enough without it.
826
:And it isn't.
827
:We get so dependent on it thinking it's
giving us so much, and it's really not.
828
:It's taking away more than it's giving.
829
:And, , you're right, we're completely,
we're so much better without it.
830
:And opportunities come.
831
:Life changes.
832
:You see life very differently and.
833
:You open the door, the floodgates open.
834
:So you know, I would
encourage anybody who is even.
835
:Thinking a little bit, the fact that
you are listening is, this means you're
836
:thinking a little bit about this.
837
:So if you haven't taken that break,
do a 21 day break and go from there or
838
:do a 30 day break, whatever you think.
839
:I tend to say the sweet spot
is a hundred days when you
840
:actually see the real benefits.
841
:So don't be put off if after 30 days
you haven't lost all this weight and.
842
:Your skin isn't glowing, you're
not sleeping amazingly well.
843
:That's not necessarily the
point, but,, trust the process.
844
:If you go to Thrive alcohol free.com/
845
:21 Day challenge, you can
get all the details there.
846
:Seems still, there'll
be still time to join..
847
:We have the weekly group coaching calls
on a Thursday, and, , you'll get daily
848
:emails with resources and tips and
motivational, motivational things, plus
849
:journal prompts and, , actions to take.
850
:So, yeah,
851
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Uh, sounds great.
852
:So Thrive Alcohol Free.
853
:So you can find that anywhere really.
854
:They can look Instagram from
855
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: yeah,
856
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: just Google it.
857
:You'll find you'll find what
you need to and Deep will be
858
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931: yeah.
859
:Yeah.
860
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: at you.
861
:So, um,
862
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
Oh, thank you.
863
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: for joining.
864
:Um, thanks for sharing
your story with us today,
865
:dupe-witherick_1_03-03-2025_130931:
thank you.
866
:Take care.
867
:vic-_1_03-03-2025_130931: bye.
868
:Thank you for listening.
869
:To Sabre alcohol-free stories.
870
:If this episode helped you,
Please like share and follow.
871
:Or leave a review on pod chaser.
872
:Dot com.
873
:And if you've got a story to
tell, please contact me on Sabre.
874
:A F stories@outlook.com.
875
:And don't forget.
876
:You can make your catch phrase.
877
:I don't drink.