Episode 11

Vic and Beckie - Sober, Alcohol free stories and removing the moody effect!

Published on: 14th March, 2025

 Hi everybody and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria and I don't drink. Today I'll talk to Beckie. Beckie, like many, noticed her drinking was changing over the years and what was once fun became a bit dark. , fed up of the moderation roller coaster, and the moody effects her drink choice was having on her, she gave up trying to drink and chose her freedom instead.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

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Today I'll talk to Becky.

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Becky, like many, noticed her drinking

was changing over the years and

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what was once fun became a bit dark.

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, fed up of the moderation roller

coaster, she gave up trying to

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drink and chose her freedom instead.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Hi, Becky.

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How are you doing today?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'm good.

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Thank you

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: And

thank you very much for coming on today.

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I came across you because

of another podcast guest.

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and she had mentioned that she was

part of your amazing Facebook group.

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so I joined your Facebook group,

which we'll talk about a little bit

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later because I think it's fantastic.

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And

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lots of people that I know who don't drink

would probably benefit from having a look.

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So we will definitely talk about that.

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when I joined, you were kind enough

to comment on the podcast and then

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obviously it just felt natural to

ask if you would like to come on.

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I don't know anything about your story.

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So I'm going to be finding out alongside

everybody else today, which is how

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I like to do things best anyway.

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so I'm going to hand over to you

and just ask you if you can just

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introduce yourself, please, Becky,

tell us a little bit about your story.

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So what brought you here today?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Okay.

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Hi Thank you for having me on.

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It's a pleasure.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

my daughter's 19, my son is 22,

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he's at university in Manchester.

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? , first drink, I think I was about 13.

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A friend's family party, and I don't know

if we were encouraged by her parents, but

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they were certainly sort of okay with us.

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And it made me feel a bit

lightheaded and a bit weird.

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That's my first experience with alcohol.

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don't remember alcohol being in our

house or my parents drinking a lot.

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Um,

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But it must have been there because

I remember one occasion I had some

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friends around, I think we were

about 14 and we mixed a concoction

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in a little tumbler glass of, I

don't know, brandy and neat spirits

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yuck.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

it and I drank the whole thing and

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then threw up into the kitchen sink.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh my God.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

listening to this.

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so that, was sort of dabbling.

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Um, parties, the usual kind of

teen stuff where there was alcohol.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

sneaking into the local wine bar,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: and

then you are old enough to go drinking,

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so you're in the pub all the time.

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I also worked in a nightclub, which

probably didn't help because after

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we shut the bar at the end of the

night, we'd all sit around drinking.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I was 18.

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I was living at home, I wasn't, I don't

think I was paying my mum anything,

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so I had quite a lot of money, and

I was going out, , every weekend,

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Thursday, Saturday, maybe Sundays,

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And after about three years, I

thought I can't carry on like this.

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I want to do a bit more with my life.

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So I went to university age 20,

21, where alcohol is a massive

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part of university and still is.

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there was a lot of drinking there and I

actually put on quite a lot of weight.

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so when I left uni, I did weight

watches and lost a couple of stone.

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And at that point I realized how many

calories are in alcohol because you

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, that was a shocker, wasn't it?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: one

of my friends was doing Weight Watchers

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with me and she wasn't counting alcohol.

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So every week she wasn't.

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losing any weight, but she wasn't

counting her alcoholic drinks.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, it's so much, there's

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so many calories in alcohol.

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I did Weight Watchers

before I got married,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: and I

remember finding out how much calories

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was in alcohol, and so on a Friday night I

replaced my dinner with a bottle of wine.

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That was so bad!

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Choices.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: You know.

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Oh dear.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Oh,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So go on.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So that was sort of university,

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then early twenties, I got my

first job and met actually one

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of my best friends at that job.

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we, again, were going out.

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A lot during the week.

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We shared a flat together and I remember

we'd sit there on a Friday night and

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we'd get we're not going out tonight.

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We're not going out tonight and we'd end

up going out and we never had any money.

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So we'd kind of get people

to buy drinks for us.

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But it all centered around

alcohol, , all of the.

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Teens, early twenties,

life was around alcohol.

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Then I got pregnant with my

son at 28 and stopped drinking.

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had my daughter two, two,

three years after that.

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Then alcohol sneaks back in.

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It's that whole mummy wine thing

that everybody talks about.

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You're so

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

so tired.

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You're working full time

and looking after a family.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: seen

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: when

actually the damage it's doing, you don't

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even realise, you don't think about it,

it's kind of, you just want to get through

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: day.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

it was very well marketed as well.

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I had my children, maybe a little bit

later than you, but I don't know any mums

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who haven't said it's wine time, it's,

you know, or you hasn't sent you a card,

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, with a, the hurrah for gin or that kind of

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So it's not really surprising

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that we all bought into that.

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I don't think, I mean, I think

currently there are millions of mothers

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still doing the same thing because

that's what they believe is the way

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to help with all of those stresses.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's sold as a treat, that's the problem,

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I think we're Brainwashed to see it as a

treat and something that's good for you.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

like chocolate and sugar

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and cakes and all that stuff

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

yeah, I know.

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I'm still stuck in the sugar

chocolate triangle, but

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

in the chocolate triangle as well

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

We'll deal with that one another day.

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Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Mid, mid thirties, I think.

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I was already struggling a

bit with hormones maybe, and

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stress levels were very high.

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So I started running I thought

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

our fridge had broken.

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I thought, I can't deal with this anymore.

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I'm going for a run.

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I said to my husband at the

time, I'm going for a run.

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He said, what?

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You don't run?

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I said, I know, but I'm gonna lose it.

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I'm gonna get out the house.

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And I went for a run and . And I said

to him the next day, I'm in agony.

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He said, you've got to do it again.

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So I went again, and I started

running and loved it thought, Oh,

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I wonder if I could do a marathon.

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So I signed up for the London marathon

about two months after I started running.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Oh, wow.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I had loads of support from friends

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and school mums, started marathon

training and did the London Marathon

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in 2012 in five hours something,

We are not meant to run that far.

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awful and I would never do it again.

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huge respect to people who, do

marathons over and over again.

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I was thinking the other day, all

of that time, all of that training,

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I was drinking wine throughout and

wondering why I'd get back from a run

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and feel shocking, , about an hour

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

massive headache, feel

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sick, couldn't work it out.

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And it was, I reckon it was that severely

dehydrated, constant dehydration.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: so,

and also with the kids, I think, I feel

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now, sorry, I might get a bit emotional.

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I

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

No, it's fine, don't.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I missed a lot with the kids.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

were times where I've heard other people

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say this, where it's Halloween and your

trick or treating and you wanna get

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back 'cause you wanna have a glass of

wine and look at, I think it's awful.

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I mean, awful.

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And I actually apologized to my.

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To both of them.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, bless you.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

to my kids and they're

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like, don't be stupid mom.

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Sorry.

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Get a grip.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Do you know what?

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No, don't get a grip at all, because

I completely understand what you

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mean, and I have felt those things

before, so I have felt that.

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Gosh, I remember things like bath time.

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I don't want to have a glass of wine.

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I kind of rushed through bath time,

or maybe we wouldn't have a story one

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night because I was just done in.

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I was like, get to bed so that not

that I didn't love them, not that I

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wanted to be with, didn't want to be

with them, but I wanted the thing that

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made me think I was then going to relax

and have that kind of numb PC feeling.

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So I completely understand a why that

happened and be why you feel bad about it.

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But, there is definitely a but, you

mustn't, because you didn't know then

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what you know now anyway, and you were

doing your best, and you were doing your

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best with what you had, and I think that

it's so easy to look back and kind of

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criticise the things that we did, but

there's so many things that fed into

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those things, and you've chosen now

to do something pretty bloody amazing.

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I, just no regrets, you wouldn't be

doing exactly what you're doing right

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now had you not done all of those things.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: is

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: and

so many mums have done it and still do

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it today and they're still great mums.

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And also I was looking at

videos of my kids the other day.

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so many amazing happy memories and

laughing I was like do you know what

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I was actually a great mum you know

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

You do have to remind yourself.

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I had a Facebook memory pop up the other

day of my two and fancy dress for school

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and I thought I made that fancy dress.

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I made that

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

You know, I did.

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I was a

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

am a great mom, but you

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do have to remind yourself

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

sometimes just, just.

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I'm just going to look at

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

a bad way.

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But

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

therapy, quite like chatting

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

have to do it again.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, we'll have to get together more.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Definitely.

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Um, where was I up to?

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Um, oh then

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So you'd apologise to your kids,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I fast forwarded to two years ago now.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

you wonder how you got to this point.

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How have I got to this point?

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. I'm drinking every day by

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Not loads, I'll have one or

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two glasses of wine a night.

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And my fiancé said to me a couple of

days ago, but you weren't drinking a lot.

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It's like it's not, I don't think

it's the amount, it's the frequency,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

that's too much.

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And he doesn't really

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

And I always felt conscious then

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that I was pouring wine every day,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

hating myself, and I've heard loads,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: I've

listened to tons of podcasts and I hear

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people say this all the time, then you

get into that battle, well I shouldn't

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be doing this, constant brain fight,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and then I started just feeling

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rubbish every single time I drank,

and I think a lot of this is to do

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with being at the perimenopausal age.

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The anxiety was horrific,

absolutely horrific, racing

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heart at night, instantly moody.

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As soon as I had half a glass of

wine, I got in a massive mood, got

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really stroppy and I'm thinking, this

isn't normal, this is not normal,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Dry Jan in:

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then I thought, right, I'll only

drink on from Thursday to Sunday

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to Wednesday.

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And you're like, well, maybe I'll just

do Monday, Tuesday without it this week.

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And it, exhausting, exhausting.

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That went on for a year.

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Got to Christmas 23, and it was

just myself and my partner and I

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just felt completely crap all day.

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We were drinking, you know, not loads,

but we were drinking during the day

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and I just felt really depressed.

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And that, at that point,

I thought that's it.

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so I did dry Jan last year.

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And did the whole month at my own body

weight, and chocolate, and biscuits, and

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Me too.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

the Dry Jan community on Facebook reading

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Uh huh,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

posts this Dry January.

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I'm like, that's me.

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It must be the same

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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huh, huh, huh, huh,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: but

anyway, got through that, then I thought,

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right, it's my 50th in February, I'm drink

on my birthday, and I wish I hadn't, I

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didn't drink loads, maybe two glasses of

wine and a vodka, something like that,

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but , I was really all over the place.

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I was all over the place.

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And I did a pub quiz and I was making

mistakes reading out the questions

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and I just wasn't really there.

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Um, so I had two drinks a month for

most of the first half of last year.

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Got to June and my partner

and I moved in together.

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We bought a house and moved in together

and I drank every day for two weeks.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: ump,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

instant that you can't get rid of.

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Just awful and tired and

felt, I just felt ugh.

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So I went back to my sort

of two drinks a month.

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Until

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

love all the rules that you put in.

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All these rules that we just try and,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: make

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

you just don't want to say, , well

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I'm not going to drink anymore.

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So you'd say, I'm going to

drink like this instead.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

isn't it?

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That's just too scary.

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This thing that

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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Yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Got to August the 16th.

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It's my partner's birthday.

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And we had a family barbecue, and

it was all lovely, and I had two

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glasses of wine, and I felt really

cross, really moody, miserable,

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tired, just, and that was it for me.

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That was my clicking point, no going back.

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And I haven't gone back since then

because Every time I think about

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how I felt on that day, that's what

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I can't, I can't,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

live like that anymore.

327

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

328

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So yeah, where,

329

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

And the thing is you don't have to.

330

:

It's such a relief to think,

Oh, hold on, I, I actually

331

:

don't have to do that anymore.

332

:

I think that was a real turning point

for me, when I realised it was a choice.

333

:

Because honestly, I never

really realised it was.

334

:

I don't think I knew that

you could choose not to.

335

:

It sounds completely

ludicrous, but I like you.

336

:

Very, very similar stories.

337

:

I think a lot of women of similar age to

us have similar stories because we were

338

:

of that generation where particularly

like uni was really, I did the drinks

339

:

from the parents cupboard as well.

340

:

Down the park with a bottle of martini.

341

:

I mean, we were terrible.

342

:

We were, gosh, I hope my

kids don't play like I did.

343

:

Really naughty.

344

:

And then university was just crazy.

345

:

I mean, it was fun.

346

:

I didn't, I don't regret,

I don't regret that.

347

:

I don't regret that part of it.

348

:

But something changes,

doesn't it, over time?

349

:

And it becomes just a bit darker.

350

:

And I recognize the moody

thing that you've said as well.

351

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Darker, that's a good word.

352

:

And I

353

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

354

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

looking back at,:

355

:

were times of real very close

to, to depression, I think.

356

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

357

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'd say to my partner, I don't

358

:

want to go out, don't want to do

anything, don't want to see anyone

359

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

360

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's gone.

361

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

362

:

It goes.

363

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

crap days, but everyone has crap days.

364

:

And I saw

365

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

366

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: on

the Facebook group this morning, and this.

367

:

Someone, this girl, had put, Oh, you

know, I've been feeling really good, and

368

:

now I just don't feel very good today.

369

:

And I thought, well,

that's life, isn't it?

370

:

That's just

371

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

372

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

If you're not a

373

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

374

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

be having days where you feel great, so.

375

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

376

:

when you drink, you're numbing stuff out.

377

:

So you are numbing out the difficult

stuff, but then, the good stuff

378

:

is also sometimes numbed out.

379

:

when you're not drinking

anymore, you feel everything.

380

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah, absolutely.

381

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: know,

you're gonna feel the bad stuff a

382

:

bit more than you maybe did before,

but what that weighs out at just so

383

:

much better when you actually put it

into a scale how often did I feel?

384

:

Shit when I was drinking and I don't

just mean physically shit, but like

385

:

that I would tell myself that I was just

this awful person and I just had that

386

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yourself.

387

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: berating

388

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Right.

389

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

just don't really do that anymore.

390

:

I mean, I'm a woman in the

UK, so I still probably think.

391

:

I'm too fat.

392

:

I probably still think that I

shouldn't be eating the chocolate.

393

:

I should probably go on

more runs or all those.

394

:

I mean, I know it's all still

there, but never to that extent.

395

:

I spoke to somebody a few

weeks ago on the podcast.

396

:

It might be worth, mentioning it on

the Facebook group to that person.

397

:

One of the ladies who's

written a book her book is.

398

:

the blueprint of what to expect.

399

:

So it's quite useful for people who

are stopping drinking because you

400

:

come across things and you think,

well, why do I feel a bit rubbish?

401

:

And everybody's talking about these

pink clouds and how amazing they feel.

402

:

And I feel a bit shit.

403

:

But that does happen because your

dopamine levels are all over the place.

404

:

Everything's trying to sort itself out

and it just doesn't happen overnight.

405

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

That's the other thing I think is

406

:

really a good point to make to anyone

listening who's in early sobriety.

407

:

People do dry down and expect

to feel absolutely brilliant.

408

:

We've

409

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

410

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I was drinking for 25

411

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yes.

412

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: are

you going to feel amazing after a month?

413

:

You know, it

414

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

415

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

three months for my

416

:

digestive system to improve.

417

:

You know, the pink clouds came, but

not about two, three months time.

418

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

419

:

Yeah.

420

:

Yeah.

421

:

Yeah.

422

:

Yeah.

423

:

Yeah.

424

:

Yeah.

425

:

Yeah.

426

:

Yeah.

427

:

Yeah.

428

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

there's a lot of changes going on.

429

:

And processing emotional side

of it, I was not prepared for.

430

:

The things that have happened

to you in your past are now

431

:

going to hit you in the face.

432

:

So I've been through a divorce,

you know, and how I got through

433

:

that divorce, anger and alcohol.

434

:

They were my two best friends

and I don't have that anymore.

435

:

Lots of strange dreams

and all sorts of stuff.

436

:

But going back to, to the self berating

and, and, you know, negative talk to

437

:

yourself, I do have those thoughts

in my head sometimes, but mainly I

438

:

think, God, I'm not a drinker anymore.

439

:

And that, I mean, that's amazing.

440

:

I'm so proud of myself.

441

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

442

:

And you should be.

443

:

It's, amazing.

444

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: is

445

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I'm

literally like bananas proud of it.

446

:

I'm like, that's why I'm

doing the podcast as well.

447

:

There came a turning point for me where

I stopped seeing it is that I had given

448

:

something up and that happened quite

quickly for me and started thinking about

449

:

it as something that I had chosen to do.

450

:

It's almost as soon as I

did that I started feeling

451

:

this kind of pride about it.

452

:

But I was very lucky because also my

family were like, you're doing amazing.

453

:

This is great.

454

:

I mean, my husband still drinks.

455

:

. It doesn't affect him particularly

negatively, so he can crack on

456

:

with that, but he is so proud of me

because I was the party girl, like

457

:

everybody knew me as that, but behind

closed doors, I felt really bad

458

:

about myself and so I had to change,

459

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

think a

460

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: but yeah.

461

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

are drinking to cover up what's

462

:

actually going on inside.

463

:

I mean,

464

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

465

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

don't mind going to pubs and going out for

466

:

dinner and all of that doesn't bother me.

467

:

But I do find drunk people

really irritating and

468

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

469

:

Yeah.

470

:

Don't we all?

471

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'm really boring but I don't care,

472

:

you know, I'm not waking up with a

massive hangover tomorrow and you are.

473

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Absolutely.

474

:

And honestly, if any drunk person

says to me, being sober is really

475

:

boring, I just would love to

hit record from that moment on

476

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah.

477

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: the

evening and then say, there you go.

478

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: you.

479

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: It was

quite boring when you told me at the

480

:

first time and it was definitely boring by

the time you told me at the eighth time.

481

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Oh yeah,

482

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

it's, it's not boring.

483

:

My life has improved immeasurably

since I stopped drinking.

484

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

has, I mean, cri, um,

485

:

Christmas, I'm not gonna lie.

486

:

Christmas Day was a bit of

487

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

488

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

but only Christmas Day, Christmas Eve.

489

:

Not bothered, you know,

490

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

491

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

don't care.

492

:

It was, I was on edge on Christmas day.

493

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

494

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I didn't even

495

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

496

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I don't know what it was.

497

:

There's nothing else to do, is there?

498

:

You just all sit

499

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

500

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

But actually, we had a lovely day.

501

:

So, I think this year will be easier.

502

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, it will.

503

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and I've got a wedding to plan.

504

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

That's so exciting.

505

:

And has this happened since

you've stopped drinking?

506

:

The engagement?

507

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

proposed on my birthday in February,

508

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, congratulations.

509

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

like you were saying, experiencing

510

:

that sober was unbelievable,

just emotions, the emotions,

511

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

512

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

And we sat down and the waitress

513

:

bought us two glasses of champagne

and I just went, I don't drink.

514

:

That was

515

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

516

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

you know, without thinking about it,

517

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

518

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

that whole day, you know, still buzzing

519

:

the next morning, oh my God, was

520

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

521

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely amazing.

522

:

And to be sober at my

wedding, I can't wait.

523

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

524

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

second I work, my makeup

525

:

won't be streaming down my

face from, you know, I'll be

526

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

527

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: So

528

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

529

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: very

530

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

won't be moody.

531

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

be moody and miserable.

532

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Can you imagine if you're just a

533

:

few glasses wide and just really

miserable on your wedding day?

534

:

Oh, God.

535

:

Well, that is very exciting.

536

:

Where are you getting married?

537

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So, next April is planned for

538

:

registry office and a lovely meal.

539

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Amazing.

540

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

we might go to some pubs afterwards.

541

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: you'll

have to ring them in advance and tell

542

:

them to get some decent drinks in for you

so you don't have to just drink juice.

543

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yes, water.

544

:

There's only so much water

you can drink, in a day.

545

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, I know.

546

:

I actually, when I first stopped my

favorite was a drink called Naughty.

547

:

it's a zero alcohol, uh, fizz.

548

:

So if you drank, Prosecco or those kind

of things, it's a replacement for that.

549

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah,

550

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So if I

was ever going to do a celebration, I had

551

:

some for Christmas and things like that.

552

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah,

553

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: going

back to your Christmas, Honestly,

554

:

the first , the first time you do

anything, there's going to be a bit

555

:

of anxiety because your brain knows

what it does in those situations.

556

:

So all of a sudden it's not doing

what it's used to doing, is it?

557

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely.

558

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: a bit

weird about it, but now that you've done

559

:

one and it was so peaceful and calm,

560

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Yes,

561

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: honestly,

you'll be so looking forward to it.

562

:

I love Christmas.

563

:

So, but it's the nicest thing

because the food is amazing.

564

:

I'm in a really good mood.

565

:

I know that I'm not going

to fall out with anyone.

566

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Me too.

567

:

And those arguments for no reason,

and so and so's annoying me, you know.

568

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, or you just even you think

569

:

that you see something you think

somebody's done something to upset

570

:

you but they probably haven't.

571

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah.

572

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

look back on it now and I wonder how

573

:

many times I misinterpreted things just

because my brain wasn't working properly.

574

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

almost paranoia, isn't it, runs

575

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

576

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

drinking.

577

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So tell

us a bit about this Facebook group because

578

:

we're actually coming near the end.

579

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

the group, is called the Sober Menopause.

580

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

581

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

is welcome.

582

:

I started it because there's

loads of groups about menopause.

583

:

Loads of groups about sobriety, but

there wasn't one that covered both.

584

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

585

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

what people don't realise is a lot

586

:

of your menopausal symptoms if not

down to drinking, can be reduced.

587

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yes,

588

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

drinking.

589

:

I mean, it's made a huge difference to me.

590

:

My hot flushes have gone.

591

:

I'm sleeping properly.

592

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

593

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

tired all the time.

594

:

I'm not anxious.

595

:

And all of that was alcohol.

596

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

597

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

just thought, you know,

598

:

if we can create a group.

599

:

where we can chat about

both things at once.

600

:

It's great.

601

:

And

602

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

yeah, yeah.

603

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

on there, yourself included.

604

:

It's a, it's just a lovely place to be and

605

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

It's a nice group.

606

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

open.

607

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: And

it's currently, not massive as well.

608

:

So it's quite, it's quite nice.

609

:

In a couple of years time, I expect

that to be a very different situation.

610

:

but right now it feels it's very nice.

611

:

It's very familiar.

612

:

and yeah, some amazing women

on there just being vulnerable.

613

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and because it's small, you can

614

:

make friendships with people

615

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

616

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

seeing their posts.

617

:

It's too

618

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

619

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I like a small group.

620

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

621

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

a lovely place

622

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

I do as well.

623

:

So if anyone wants to join it,

it's a Facebook group, isn't it?

624

:

And it's called DeRobert Menopause.

625

:

Is that right?

626

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: the

627

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yes.

628

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: yes.

629

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So for men, of course, yeah.

630

:

Okay, and it's perfect for me

because I'm exactly that age.

631

:

So the HRT has begun and

632

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

so much fun, such fun.

633

:

Definitely,

634

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: but

at least we can look ourselves in the

635

:

face and know that we're not adding to

it by, you know, throwing booze down

636

:

our necks and just making ourselves

feel pretty goddamn awful on top of it.

637

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

definitely.

638

:

I just don't think you can

drink at this time of life.

639

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: No,

640

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I just don't think you can do it.

641

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: no,

no, definitely the anxiety and all of

642

:

those things that I was experiencing

towards the end of before I stopped

643

:

drinking, they actually disappeared.

644

:

And I was taking some

medication for anxiety , it's

645

:

a horrible, horrible feeling.

646

:

and, and I, within two months,

wasn't taking any medication at all.

647

:

It was just unbelievable.

648

:

And I still worry about things.

649

:

I'm, , I'm a mom, I'm a normal person.

650

:

Of course, I'm going to worry

about things, but I certainly

651

:

don't let them spiral.

652

:

And I'm much more realistic

and I can contextualize things.

653

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

654

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: exactly.

655

:

It doesn't, you don't have that

middle of the night whirring.

656

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: No.

657

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

have I done?

658

:

What have I said?

659

:

Who have I up there?

660

:

Where are my shoes?

661

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: What

have I got to apologize to in the morning?

662

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

I need to say sorry to?

663

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Yes.

664

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Oh God.

665

:

No, thank you.

666

:

I don't want to go back

to that ever again.

667

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's an amazing life.

668

:

It's an

669

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

670

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's an amazing life now.

671

:

I'm so glad I did it.

672

:

I wish I'd done it sooner, but

everyone says that, don't they?

673

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

674

:

No one ever regrets giving up alcohol.

675

:

I've never met a person that

said no, that wasn't for me.

676

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: No.

677

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Even people who've tried for like

678

:

a short amount of time and lots of

people don't wanna start by saying

679

:

I'm never gonna have anything again.

680

:

'cause that's too big for me.

681

:

That was what I wanted to do actually.

682

:

'cause I'm a kind of all or

nothing person, but lots of people.

683

:

Just wanna start off with,

I'm gonna do three months.

684

:

I think that your advice is good.

685

:

I think three months

is better than a month.

686

:

'cause you don't really

get the benefits of it.

687

:

Up to the month.

688

:

So dry January is brilliant, but if you

can push it, keep going for three months,

689

:

because that's when you'll really start

to realize how much better you feel.

690

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

physical changes.

691

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

692

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

more noticeable after three months,

693

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

definitely.

694

:

And be prepared for some, ups

and downs because you open a

695

:

few floodgates when you stop

696

:

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

it's a rollercoaster.

697

:

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: It is

a roller coaster, but it's a really good

698

:

one and I definitely won't be getting off.

699

:

Yeah.

700

:

Becky, well, thank you so much for

sharing your story with us this morning.

701

:

You so much for sharing your

story with us this morning.

702

:

Really inspiring.

703

:

And, everybody's welcome to join

that Facebook group and it'd be

704

:

lovely to see some few there.

705

:

And thanks Becky.

706

:

Bye.

707

:

Thank you for listening.

708

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

709

:

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

710

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

711

:

Dot com.

712

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

713

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

714

:

And don't forget.

715

:

You can make your catch phrase.

716

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

Profile picture for VICTORIA Banat

VICTORIA Banat