Vic and Beckie - Sober, Alcohol free stories and removing the moody effect!

Speaker: 00:00:02

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

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Today I'll talk to Becky.

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Becky, like many, noticed her drinking

was changing over the years and

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what was once fun became a bit dark.

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, fed up of the moderation roller

coaster, she gave up trying to

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drink and chose her freedom instead.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Hi, Becky.

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How are you doing today?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'm good.

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Thank you

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: And

thank you very much for coming on today.

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I came across you because

of another podcast guest.

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and she had mentioned that she was

part of your amazing Facebook group.

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so I joined your Facebook group,

which we'll talk about a little bit

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later because I think it's fantastic.

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And

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lots of people that I know who don't drink

would probably benefit from having a look.

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So we will definitely talk about that.

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when I joined, you were kind enough

to comment on the podcast and then

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obviously it just felt natural to

ask if you would like to come on.

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I don't know anything about your story.

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So I'm going to be finding out alongside

everybody else today, which is how

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I like to do things best anyway.

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so I'm going to hand over to you

and just ask you if you can just

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introduce yourself, please, Becky,

tell us a little bit about your story.

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So what brought you here today?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Okay.

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Hi Thank you for having me on.

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It's a pleasure.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

my daughter's 19, my son is 22,

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he's at university in Manchester.

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? , first drink, I think I was about 13.

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A friend's family party, and I don't know

if we were encouraged by her parents, but

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they were certainly sort of okay with us.

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And it made me feel a bit

lightheaded and a bit weird.

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That's my first experience with alcohol.

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don't remember alcohol being in our

house or my parents drinking a lot.

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Um,

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But it must have been there because

I remember one occasion I had some

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friends around, I think we were

about 14 and we mixed a concoction

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in a little tumbler glass of, I

don't know, brandy and neat spirits

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yuck.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

it and I drank the whole thing and

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then threw up into the kitchen sink.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh my God.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

listening to this.

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so that, was sort of dabbling.

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Um, parties, the usual kind of

teen stuff where there was alcohol.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

sneaking into the local wine bar,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: and

then you are old enough to go drinking,

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so you're in the pub all the time.

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I also worked in a nightclub, which

probably didn't help because after

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we shut the bar at the end of the

night, we'd all sit around drinking.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I was 18.

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I was living at home, I wasn't, I don't

think I was paying my mum anything,

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so I had quite a lot of money, and

I was going out, , every weekend,

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Thursday, Saturday, maybe Sundays,

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And after about three years, I

thought I can't carry on like this.

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I want to do a bit more with my life.

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So I went to university age 20,

21, where alcohol is a massive

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part of university and still is.

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there was a lot of drinking there and I

actually put on quite a lot of weight.

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so when I left uni, I did weight

watches and lost a couple of stone.

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And at that point I realized how many

calories are in alcohol because you

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, that was a shocker, wasn't it?

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: one

of my friends was doing Weight Watchers

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with me and she wasn't counting alcohol.

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So every week she wasn't.

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losing any weight, but she wasn't

counting her alcoholic drinks.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, it's so much, there's

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so many calories in alcohol.

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I did Weight Watchers

before I got married,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: and I

remember finding out how much calories

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was in alcohol, and so on a Friday night I

replaced my dinner with a bottle of wine.

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That was so bad!

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Choices.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: You know.

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Oh dear.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Oh,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So go on.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So that was sort of university,

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then early twenties, I got my

first job and met actually one

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of my best friends at that job.

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we, again, were going out.

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A lot during the week.

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We shared a flat together and I remember

we'd sit there on a Friday night and

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we'd get we're not going out tonight.

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We're not going out tonight and we'd end

up going out and we never had any money.

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So we'd kind of get people

to buy drinks for us.

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But it all centered around

alcohol, , all of the.

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Teens, early twenties,

life was around alcohol.

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Then I got pregnant with my

son at 28 and stopped drinking.

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had my daughter two, two,

three years after that.

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Then alcohol sneaks back in.

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It's that whole mummy wine thing

that everybody talks about.

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You're so

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

so tired.

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You're working full time

and looking after a family.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: seen

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: when

actually the damage it's doing, you don't

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even realise, you don't think about it,

it's kind of, you just want to get through

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: day.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

it was very well marketed as well.

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I had my children, maybe a little bit

later than you, but I don't know any mums

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who haven't said it's wine time, it's,

you know, or you hasn't sent you a card,

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, with a, the hurrah for gin or that kind of

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So it's not really surprising

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that we all bought into that.

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I don't think, I mean, I think

currently there are millions of mothers

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still doing the same thing because

that's what they believe is the way

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to help with all of those stresses.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's sold as a treat, that's the problem,

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I think we're Brainwashed to see it as a

treat and something that's good for you.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

like chocolate and sugar

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and cakes and all that stuff

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

yeah, I know.

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I'm still stuck in the sugar

chocolate triangle, but

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

in the chocolate triangle as well

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

We'll deal with that one another day.

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Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Mid, mid thirties, I think.

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I was already struggling a

bit with hormones maybe, and

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stress levels were very high.

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So I started running I thought

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

our fridge had broken.

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I thought, I can't deal with this anymore.

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I'm going for a run.

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I said to my husband at the

time, I'm going for a run.

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He said, what?

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You don't run?

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I said, I know, but I'm gonna lose it.

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I'm gonna get out the house.

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And I went for a run and . And I said

to him the next day, I'm in agony.

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He said, you've got to do it again.

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So I went again, and I started

running and loved it thought, Oh,

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I wonder if I could do a marathon.

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So I signed up for the London marathon

about two months after I started running.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Oh, wow.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I had loads of support from friends

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and school mums, started marathon

training and did the London Marathon

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in 2012 in five hours something,

We are not meant to run that far.

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awful and I would never do it again.

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huge respect to people who, do

marathons over and over again.

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I was thinking the other day, all

of that time, all of that training,

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I was drinking wine throughout and

wondering why I'd get back from a run

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and feel shocking, , about an hour

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

massive headache, feel

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sick, couldn't work it out.

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And it was, I reckon it was that severely

dehydrated, constant dehydration.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: so,

and also with the kids, I think, I feel

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now, sorry, I might get a bit emotional.

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I

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

No, it's fine, don't.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I missed a lot with the kids.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

were times where I've heard other people

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say this, where it's Halloween and your

trick or treating and you wanna get

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back 'cause you wanna have a glass of

wine and look at, I think it's awful.

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I mean, awful.

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And I actually apologized to my.

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To both of them.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, bless you.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

to my kids and they're

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like, don't be stupid mom.

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Sorry.

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Get a grip.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Do you know what?

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No, don't get a grip at all, because

I completely understand what you

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mean, and I have felt those things

before, so I have felt that.

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Gosh, I remember things like bath time.

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I don't want to have a glass of wine.

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I kind of rushed through bath time,

or maybe we wouldn't have a story one

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night because I was just done in.

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I was like, get to bed so that not

that I didn't love them, not that I

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wanted to be with, didn't want to be

with them, but I wanted the thing that

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made me think I was then going to relax

and have that kind of numb PC feeling.

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So I completely understand a why that

happened and be why you feel bad about it.

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But, there is definitely a but, you

mustn't, because you didn't know then

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what you know now anyway, and you were

doing your best, and you were doing your

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best with what you had, and I think that

it's so easy to look back and kind of

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criticise the things that we did, but

there's so many things that fed into

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those things, and you've chosen now

to do something pretty bloody amazing.

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I, just no regrets, you wouldn't be

doing exactly what you're doing right

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now had you not done all of those things.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: is

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: and

so many mums have done it and still do

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it today and they're still great mums.

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And also I was looking at

videos of my kids the other day.

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so many amazing happy memories and

laughing I was like do you know what

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I was actually a great mum you know

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

You do have to remind yourself.

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I had a Facebook memory pop up the other

day of my two and fancy dress for school

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and I thought I made that fancy dress.

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I made that

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

You know, I did.

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I was a

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

am a great mom, but you

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do have to remind yourself

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

sometimes just, just.

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I'm just going to look at

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

a bad way.

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But

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

therapy, quite like chatting

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

have to do it again.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, we'll have to get together more.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Definitely.

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Um, where was I up to?

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Um, oh then

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So you'd apologise to your kids,

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I fast forwarded to two years ago now.

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

you wonder how you got to this point.

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How have I got to this point?

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. I'm drinking every day by

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Not loads, I'll have one or

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two glasses of wine a night.

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And my fiancé said to me a couple of

days ago, but you weren't drinking a lot.

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It's like it's not, I don't think

it's the amount, it's the frequency,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

that's too much.

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And he doesn't really

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

And I always felt conscious then

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that I was pouring wine every day,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

hating myself, and I've heard loads,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: I've

listened to tons of podcasts and I hear

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people say this all the time, then you

get into that battle, well I shouldn't

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be doing this, constant brain fight,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and then I started just feeling

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rubbish every single time I drank,

and I think a lot of this is to do

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with being at the perimenopausal age.

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The anxiety was horrific,

absolutely horrific, racing

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heart at night, instantly moody.

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As soon as I had half a glass of

wine, I got in a massive mood, got

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really stroppy and I'm thinking, this

isn't normal, this is not normal,

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vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: hmm.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah.

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squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Dry Jan in: 2023

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then I thought, right, I'll only

drink on from Thursday to Sunday

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to Wednesday.

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And you're like, well, maybe I'll just

do Monday, Tuesday without it this week.

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And it, exhausting, exhausting.

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That went on for a year.

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Got to Christmas 23, and it was

just myself and my partner and I

275

: 00:12:20

just felt completely crap all day.

276

: 00:12:23

We were drinking, you know, not loads,

but we were drinking during the day

277

: 00:12:27

and I just felt really depressed.

278

: 00:12:29

And that, at that point,

I thought that's it.

279

: 00:12:32

so I did dry Jan last year.

280

: 00:12:36

And did the whole month at my own body

weight, and chocolate, and biscuits, and

281

: 00:12:43

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Me too.

282

: 00:12:44

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

the Dry Jan community on Facebook reading

283

: 00:12:48

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Uh huh,

284

: 00:12:49

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

posts this Dry January.

285

: 00:12:51

I'm like, that's me.

286

: 00:12:53

It must be the same

287

: 00:12:53

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

288

: 00:12:54

huh, huh, huh, huh,

289

: 00:12:57

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: but

anyway, got through that, then I thought,

290

: 00:13:00

right, it's my 50th in February, I'm drink

on my birthday, and I wish I hadn't, I

291

: 00:13:07

didn't drink loads, maybe two glasses of

wine and a vodka, something like that,

292

: 00:13:11

but , I was really all over the place.

293

: 00:13:12

I was all over the place.

294

: 00:13:15

And I did a pub quiz and I was making

mistakes reading out the questions

295

: 00:13:18

and I just wasn't really there.

296

: 00:13:22

Um, so I had two drinks a month for

most of the first half of last year.

297

: 00:13:27

Got to June and my partner

and I moved in together.

298

: 00:13:30

We bought a house and moved in together

and I drank every day for two weeks.

299

: 00:13:35

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: ump,

300

: 00:13:36

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

instant that you can't get rid of.

301

: 00:13:40

Just awful and tired and

felt, I just felt ugh.

302

: 00:13:45

So I went back to my sort

of two drinks a month.

303

: 00:13:50

Until

304

: 00:13:51

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

love all the rules that you put in.

305

: 00:13:52

All these rules that we just try and,

306

: 00:13:54

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: make

307

: 00:13:55

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

you just don't want to say, , well

308

: 00:13:56

I'm not going to drink anymore.

309

: 00:13:57

So you'd say, I'm going to

drink like this instead.

310

: 00:14:00

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

isn't it?

311

: 00:14:00

That's just too scary.

312

: 00:14:02

This thing that

313

: 00:14:02

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

314

: 00:14:03

Yeah,

315

: 00:14:06

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Got to August the 16th.

316

: 00:14:09

It's my partner's birthday.

317

: 00:14:11

And we had a family barbecue, and

it was all lovely, and I had two

318

: 00:14:15

glasses of wine, and I felt really

cross, really moody, miserable,

319

: 00:14:21

tired, just, and that was it for me.

320

: 00:14:24

That was my clicking point, no going back.

321

: 00:14:28

And I haven't gone back since then

because Every time I think about

322

: 00:14:33

how I felt on that day, that's what

323

: 00:14:37

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

324

: 00:14:38

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I can't, I can't,

325

: 00:14:39

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

326

: 00:14:39

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

live like that anymore.

327

: 00:14:40

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah.

328

: 00:14:42

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So yeah, where,

329

: 00:14:44

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

And the thing is you don't have to.

330

: 00:14:46

It's such a relief to think,

Oh, hold on, I, I actually

331

: 00:14:51

don't have to do that anymore.

332

: 00:14:53

I think that was a real turning point

for me, when I realised it was a choice.

333

: 00:14:58

Because honestly, I never

really realised it was.

334

: 00:15:01

I don't think I knew that

you could choose not to.

335

: 00:15:03

It sounds completely

ludicrous, but I like you.

336

: 00:15:06

Very, very similar stories.

337

: 00:15:08

I think a lot of women of similar age to

us have similar stories because we were

338

: 00:15:13

of that generation where particularly

like uni was really, I did the drinks

339

: 00:15:17

from the parents cupboard as well.

340

: 00:15:19

Down the park with a bottle of martini.

341

: 00:15:21

I mean, we were terrible.

342

: 00:15:23

We were, gosh, I hope my

kids don't play like I did.

343

: 00:15:25

Really naughty.

344

: 00:15:27

And then university was just crazy.

345

: 00:15:29

I mean, it was fun.

346

: 00:15:31

I didn't, I don't regret,

I don't regret that.

347

: 00:15:33

I don't regret that part of it.

348

: 00:15:35

But something changes,

doesn't it, over time?

349

: 00:15:38

And it becomes just a bit darker.

350

: 00:15:40

And I recognize the moody

thing that you've said as well.

351

: 00:15:43

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Darker, that's a good word.

352

: 00:15:45

And I

353

: 00:15:45

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

354

: 00:15:46

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

looking back at,: 2023

355

: 00:15:49

were times of real very close

to, to depression, I think.

356

: 00:15:55

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

357

: 00:15:55

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'd say to my partner, I don't

358

: 00:15:57

want to go out, don't want to do

anything, don't want to see anyone

359

: 00:16:00

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

360

: 00:16:00

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's gone.

361

: 00:16:01

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

362

: 00:16:02

It goes.

363

: 00:16:03

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

crap days, but everyone has crap days.

364

: 00:16:06

And I saw

365

: 00:16:07

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

366

: 00:16:07

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: on

the Facebook group this morning, and this.

367

: 00:16:09

Someone, this girl, had put, Oh, you

know, I've been feeling really good, and

368

: 00:16:14

now I just don't feel very good today.

369

: 00:16:15

And I thought, well,

that's life, isn't it?

370

: 00:16:17

That's just

371

: 00:16:18

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

372

: 00:16:19

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

If you're not a

373

: 00:16:20

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

374

: 00:16:20

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

be having days where you feel great, so.

375

: 00:16:23

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

376

: 00:16:25

when you drink, you're numbing stuff out.

377

: 00:16:26

So you are numbing out the difficult

stuff, but then, the good stuff

378

: 00:16:30

is also sometimes numbed out.

379

: 00:16:31

when you're not drinking

anymore, you feel everything.

380

: 00:16:34

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah, absolutely.

381

: 00:16:35

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: know,

you're gonna feel the bad stuff a

382

: 00:16:37

bit more than you maybe did before,

but what that weighs out at just so

383

: 00:16:42

much better when you actually put it

into a scale how often did I feel?

384

: 00:16:47

Shit when I was drinking and I don't

just mean physically shit, but like

385

: 00:16:50

that I would tell myself that I was just

this awful person and I just had that

386

: 00:16:56

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yourself.

387

: 00:16:58

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: berating

388

: 00:17:00

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Right.

389

: 00:17:01

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

just don't really do that anymore.

390

: 00:17:02

I mean, I'm a woman in the

UK, so I still probably think.

391

: 00:17:07

I'm too fat.

392

: 00:17:08

I probably still think that I

shouldn't be eating the chocolate.

393

: 00:17:12

I should probably go on

more runs or all those.

394

: 00:17:14

I mean, I know it's all still

there, but never to that extent.

395

: 00:17:18

I spoke to somebody a few

weeks ago on the podcast.

396

: 00:17:21

It might be worth, mentioning it on

the Facebook group to that person.

397

: 00:17:25

One of the ladies who's

written a book her book is.

398

: 00:17:29

the blueprint of what to expect.

399

: 00:17:33

So it's quite useful for people who

are stopping drinking because you

400

: 00:17:36

come across things and you think,

well, why do I feel a bit rubbish?

401

: 00:17:39

And everybody's talking about these

pink clouds and how amazing they feel.

402

: 00:17:42

And I feel a bit shit.

403

: 00:17:45

But that does happen because your

dopamine levels are all over the place.

404

: 00:17:49

Everything's trying to sort itself out

and it just doesn't happen overnight.

405

: 00:17:52

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

That's the other thing I think is

406

: 00:17:54

really a good point to make to anyone

listening who's in early sobriety.

407

: 00:18:00

People do dry down and expect

to feel absolutely brilliant.

408

: 00:18:04

We've

409

: 00:18:04

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

410

: 00:18:05

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I was drinking for 25

411

: 00:18:08

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yes.

412

: 00:18:08

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: are

you going to feel amazing after a month?

413

: 00:18:11

You know, it

414

: 00:18:11

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

415

: 00:18:12

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

three months for my

416

: 00:18:14

digestive system to improve.

417

: 00:18:17

You know, the pink clouds came, but

not about two, three months time.

418

: 00:18:23

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

419

: 00:18:23

Yeah.

420

: 00:18:24

Yeah.

421

: 00:18:25

Yeah.

422

: 00:18:25

Yeah.

423

: 00:18:26

Yeah.

424

: 00:18:27

Yeah.

425

: 00:18:28

Yeah.

426

: 00:18:29

Yeah.

427

: 00:18:29

Yeah.

428

: 00:18:30

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

there's a lot of changes going on.

429

: 00:18:32

And processing emotional side

of it, I was not prepared for.

430

: 00:18:38

The things that have happened

to you in your past are now

431

: 00:18:41

going to hit you in the face.

432

: 00:18:44

So I've been through a divorce,

you know, and how I got through

433

: 00:18:47

that divorce, anger and alcohol.

434

: 00:18:49

They were my two best friends

and I don't have that anymore.

435

: 00:18:53

Lots of strange dreams

and all sorts of stuff.

436

: 00:18:57

But going back to, to the self berating

and, and, you know, negative talk to

437

: 00:19:02

yourself, I do have those thoughts

in my head sometimes, but mainly I

438

: 00:19:06

think, God, I'm not a drinker anymore.

439

: 00:19:09

And that, I mean, that's amazing.

440

: 00:19:12

I'm so proud of myself.

441

: 00:19:15

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

442

: 00:19:16

And you should be.

443

: 00:19:16

It's, amazing.

444

: 00:19:17

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: is

445

: 00:19:18

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I'm

literally like bananas proud of it.

446

: 00:19:20

I'm like, that's why I'm

doing the podcast as well.

447

: 00:19:23

There came a turning point for me where

I stopped seeing it is that I had given

448

: 00:19:26

something up and that happened quite

quickly for me and started thinking about

449

: 00:19:30

it as something that I had chosen to do.

450

: 00:19:34

It's almost as soon as I

did that I started feeling

451

: 00:19:37

this kind of pride about it.

452

: 00:19:38

But I was very lucky because also my

family were like, you're doing amazing.

453

: 00:19:42

This is great.

454

: 00:19:43

I mean, my husband still drinks.

455

: 00:19:45

. It doesn't affect him particularly

negatively, so he can crack on

456

: 00:19:49

with that, but he is so proud of me

because I was the party girl, like

457

: 00:19:54

everybody knew me as that, but behind

closed doors, I felt really bad

458

: 00:19:59

about myself and so I had to change,

459

: 00:20:03

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

think a

460

: 00:20:04

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: but yeah.

461

: 00:20:04

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

are drinking to cover up what's

462

: 00:20:06

actually going on inside.

463

: 00:20:07

I mean,

464

: 00:20:09

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

465

: 00:20:09

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

don't mind going to pubs and going out for

466

: 00:20:12

dinner and all of that doesn't bother me.

467

: 00:20:14

But I do find drunk people

really irritating and

468

: 00:20:17

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

469

: 00:20:18

Yeah.

470

: 00:20:18

Don't we all?

471

: 00:20:19

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I'm really boring but I don't care,

472

: 00:20:21

you know, I'm not waking up with a

massive hangover tomorrow and you are.

473

: 00:20:25

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Absolutely.

474

: 00:20:26

And honestly, if any drunk person

says to me, being sober is really

475

: 00:20:29

boring, I just would love to

hit record from that moment on

476

: 00:20:33

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah.

477

: 00:20:33

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: the

evening and then say, there you go.

478

: 00:20:35

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: you.

479

: 00:20:35

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: It was

quite boring when you told me at the

480

: 00:20:37

first time and it was definitely boring by

the time you told me at the eighth time.

481

: 00:20:44

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Oh yeah,

482

: 00:20:46

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

it's, it's not boring.

483

: 00:20:48

My life has improved immeasurably

since I stopped drinking.

484

: 00:20:51

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

has, I mean, cri, um,

485

: 00:20:52

Christmas, I'm not gonna lie.

486

: 00:20:54

Christmas Day was a bit of

487

: 00:20:56

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Mm hmm.

488

: 00:20:57

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

but only Christmas Day, Christmas Eve.

489

: 00:20:58

Not bothered, you know,

490

: 00:21:00

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

491

: 00:21:01

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

don't care.

492

: 00:21:02

It was, I was on edge on Christmas day.

493

: 00:21:05

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

494

: 00:21:06

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I didn't even

495

: 00:21:06

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

496

: 00:21:07

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I don't know what it was.

497

: 00:21:08

There's nothing else to do, is there?

498

: 00:21:10

You just all sit

499

: 00:21:11

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

500

: 00:21:12

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

But actually, we had a lovely day.

501

: 00:21:15

So, I think this year will be easier.

502

: 00:21:17

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, it will.

503

: 00:21:19

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and I've got a wedding to plan.

504

: 00:21:22

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

That's so exciting.

505

: 00:21:24

And has this happened since

you've stopped drinking?

506

: 00:21:26

The engagement?

507

: 00:21:27

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

proposed on my birthday in February,

508

: 00:21:31

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Oh, congratulations.

509

: 00:21:32

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

like you were saying, experiencing

510

: 00:21:34

that sober was unbelievable,

just emotions, the emotions,

511

: 00:21:39

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

512

: 00:21:40

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

And we sat down and the waitress

513

: 00:21:42

bought us two glasses of champagne

and I just went, I don't drink.

514

: 00:21:45

That was

515

: 00:21:46

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

516

: 00:21:47

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

you know, without thinking about it,

517

: 00:21:49

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

518

: 00:21:50

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

that whole day, you know, still buzzing

519

: 00:21:52

the next morning, oh my God, was

520

: 00:21:55

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

521

: 00:21:56

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely amazing.

522

: 00:21:57

And to be sober at my

wedding, I can't wait.

523

: 00:22:01

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

524

: 00:22:01

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

second I work, my makeup

525

: 00:22:02

won't be streaming down my

face from, you know, I'll be

526

: 00:22:06

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

527

: 00:22:08

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: So

528

: 00:22:08

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

529

: 00:22:09

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: very

530

: 00:22:09

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

won't be moody.

531

: 00:22:10

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

be moody and miserable.

532

: 00:22:13

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Can you imagine if you're just a

533

: 00:22:15

few glasses wide and just really

miserable on your wedding day?

534

: 00:22:18

Oh, God.

535

: 00:22:20

Well, that is very exciting.

536

: 00:22:21

Where are you getting married?

537

: 00:22:23

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

So, next April is planned for

538

: 00:22:26

registry office and a lovely meal.

539

: 00:22:29

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Amazing.

540

: 00:22:29

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

we might go to some pubs afterwards.

541

: 00:22:32

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: you'll

have to ring them in advance and tell

542

: 00:22:34

them to get some decent drinks in for you

so you don't have to just drink juice.

543

: 00:22:37

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yes, water.

544

: 00:22:39

There's only so much water

you can drink, in a day.

545

: 00:22:42

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, I know.

546

: 00:22:43

I actually, when I first stopped my

favorite was a drink called Naughty.

547

: 00:22:47

it's a zero alcohol, uh, fizz.

548

: 00:22:50

So if you drank, Prosecco or those kind

of things, it's a replacement for that.

549

: 00:22:56

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah,

550

: 00:22:56

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So if I

was ever going to do a celebration, I had

551

: 00:22:58

some for Christmas and things like that.

552

: 00:23:01

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah,

553

: 00:23:01

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: going

back to your Christmas, Honestly,

554

: 00:23:04

the first , the first time you do

anything, there's going to be a bit

555

: 00:23:07

of anxiety because your brain knows

what it does in those situations.

556

: 00:23:10

So all of a sudden it's not doing

what it's used to doing, is it?

557

: 00:23:13

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

absolutely.

558

: 00:23:14

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: a bit

weird about it, but now that you've done

559

: 00:23:17

one and it was so peaceful and calm,

560

: 00:23:19

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Yes,

561

: 00:23:20

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: honestly,

you'll be so looking forward to it.

562

: 00:23:22

I love Christmas.

563

: 00:23:23

So, but it's the nicest thing

because the food is amazing.

564

: 00:23:28

I'm in a really good mood.

565

: 00:23:29

I know that I'm not going

to fall out with anyone.

566

: 00:23:31

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Me too.

567

: 00:23:32

And those arguments for no reason,

and so and so's annoying me, you know.

568

: 00:23:37

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Yeah, or you just even you think

569

: 00:23:40

that you see something you think

somebody's done something to upset

570

: 00:23:44

you but they probably haven't.

571

: 00:23:45

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

yeah.

572

: 00:23:46

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: I

look back on it now and I wonder how

573

: 00:23:47

many times I misinterpreted things just

because my brain wasn't working properly.

574

: 00:23:52

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

almost paranoia, isn't it, runs

575

: 00:23:54

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

576

: 00:23:55

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

drinking.

577

: 00:23:57

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: So tell

us a bit about this Facebook group because

578

: 00:24:00

we're actually coming near the end.

579

: 00:24:02

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

the group, is called the Sober Menopause.

580

: 00:24:07

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

581

: 00:24:08

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

is welcome.

582

: 00:24:09

I started it because there's

loads of groups about menopause.

583

: 00:24:12

Loads of groups about sobriety, but

there wasn't one that covered both.

584

: 00:24:16

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

585

: 00:24:17

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

what people don't realise is a lot

586

: 00:24:19

of your menopausal symptoms if not

down to drinking, can be reduced.

587

: 00:24:26

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yes,

588

: 00:24:26

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

drinking.

589

: 00:24:27

I mean, it's made a huge difference to me.

590

: 00:24:29

My hot flushes have gone.

591

: 00:24:30

I'm sleeping properly.

592

: 00:24:32

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

593

: 00:24:33

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

tired all the time.

594

: 00:24:34

I'm not anxious.

595

: 00:24:35

And all of that was alcohol.

596

: 00:24:38

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: yeah,

597

: 00:24:38

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

just thought, you know,

598

: 00:24:39

if we can create a group.

599

: 00:24:42

where we can chat about

both things at once.

600

: 00:24:45

It's great.

601

: 00:24:45

And

602

: 00:24:45

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

yeah, yeah.

603

: 00:24:47

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

on there, yourself included.

604

: 00:24:48

It's a, it's just a lovely place to be and

605

: 00:24:51

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

It's a nice group.

606

: 00:24:52

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

open.

607

: 00:24:52

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: And

it's currently, not massive as well.

608

: 00:24:55

So it's quite, it's quite nice.

609

: 00:24:56

In a couple of years time, I expect

that to be a very different situation.

610

: 00:24:59

but right now it feels it's very nice.

611

: 00:25:01

It's very familiar.

612

: 00:25:02

and yeah, some amazing women

on there just being vulnerable.

613

: 00:25:05

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

and because it's small, you can

614

: 00:25:07

make friendships with people

615

: 00:25:08

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

616

: 00:25:09

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

seeing their posts.

617

: 00:25:10

It's too

618

: 00:25:10

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

619

: 00:25:11

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I like a small group.

620

: 00:25:12

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

621

: 00:25:13

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

a lovely place

622

: 00:25:13

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

I do as well.

623

: 00:25:15

So if anyone wants to join it,

it's a Facebook group, isn't it?

624

: 00:25:18

And it's called DeRobert Menopause.

625

: 00:25:20

Is that right?

626

: 00:25:21

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: the

627

: 00:25:21

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yes.

628

: 00:25:22

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: yes.

629

: 00:25:22

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

So for men, of course, yeah.

630

: 00:25:24

Okay, and it's perfect for me

because I'm exactly that age.

631

: 00:25:28

So the HRT has begun and

632

: 00:25:30

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

so much fun, such fun.

633

: 00:25:32

Definitely,

634

: 00:25:35

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: but

at least we can look ourselves in the

635

: 00:25:37

face and know that we're not adding to

it by, you know, throwing booze down

636

: 00:25:42

our necks and just making ourselves

feel pretty goddamn awful on top of it.

637

: 00:25:46

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

definitely.

638

: 00:25:47

I just don't think you can

drink at this time of life.

639

: 00:25:50

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: No,

640

: 00:25:51

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

I just don't think you can do it.

641

: 00:25:54

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: no,

no, definitely the anxiety and all of

642

: 00:25:57

those things that I was experiencing

towards the end of before I stopped

643

: 00:26:01

drinking, they actually disappeared.

644

: 00:26:03

And I was taking some

medication for anxiety , it's

645

: 00:26:08

a horrible, horrible feeling.

646

: 00:26:09

and, and I, within two months,

wasn't taking any medication at all.

647

: 00:26:14

It was just unbelievable.

648

: 00:26:16

And I still worry about things.

649

: 00:26:18

I'm, , I'm a mom, I'm a normal person.

650

: 00:26:20

Of course, I'm going to worry

about things, but I certainly

651

: 00:26:22

don't let them spiral.

652

: 00:26:24

And I'm much more realistic

and I can contextualize things.

653

: 00:26:27

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

Yeah.

654

: 00:26:29

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: exactly.

655

: 00:26:30

It doesn't, you don't have that

middle of the night whirring.

656

: 00:26:33

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: No.

657

: 00:26:34

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

have I done?

658

: 00:26:34

What have I said?

659

: 00:26:35

Who have I up there?

660

: 00:26:37

Where are my shoes?

661

: 00:26:38

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: What

have I got to apologize to in the morning?

662

: 00:26:41

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

I need to say sorry to?

663

: 00:26:42

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: Yes.

664

: 00:26:43

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Oh God.

665

: 00:26:44

No, thank you.

666

: 00:26:45

I don't want to go back

to that ever again.

667

: 00:26:48

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's an amazing life.

668

: 00:26:50

It's an

669

: 00:26:51

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

670

: 00:26:51

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

It's an amazing life now.

671

: 00:26:54

I'm so glad I did it.

672

: 00:26:56

I wish I'd done it sooner, but

everyone says that, don't they?

673

: 00:26:58

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah.

674

: 00:26:59

No one ever regrets giving up alcohol.

675

: 00:27:02

I've never met a person that

said no, that wasn't for me.

676

: 00:27:05

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228: No.

677

: 00:27:06

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

Even people who've tried for like

678

: 00:27:07

a short amount of time and lots of

people don't wanna start by saying

679

: 00:27:11

I'm never gonna have anything again.

680

: 00:27:13

'cause that's too big for me.

681

: 00:27:14

That was what I wanted to do actually.

682

: 00:27:16

'cause I'm a kind of all or

nothing person, but lots of people.

683

: 00:27:19

Just wanna start off with,

I'm gonna do three months.

684

: 00:27:22

I think that your advice is good.

685

: 00:27:23

I think three months

is better than a month.

686

: 00:27:27

'cause you don't really

get the benefits of it.

687

: 00:27:29

Up to the month.

688

: 00:27:30

So dry January is brilliant, but if you

can push it, keep going for three months,

689

: 00:27:35

because that's when you'll really start

to realize how much better you feel.

690

: 00:27:39

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

physical changes.

691

: 00:27:42

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: Yeah,

692

: 00:27:42

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

more noticeable after three months,

693

: 00:27:45

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225:

definitely.

694

: 00:27:46

And be prepared for some, ups

and downs because you open a

695

: 00:27:49

few floodgates when you stop

696

: 00:27:51

squadcaster-df71_1_03-08-2025_100228:

it's a rollercoaster.

697

: 00:27:53

vic-host678_1_03-08-2025_100225: It is

a roller coaster, but it's a really good

698

: 00:27:55

one and I definitely won't be getting off.

699

: 00:27:58

Yeah.

700

: 00:28:00

Becky, well, thank you so much for

sharing your story with us this morning.

701

: 00:28:04

You so much for sharing your

story with us this morning.

702

: 00:28:06

Really inspiring.

703

: 00:28:07

And, everybody's welcome to join

that Facebook group and it'd be

704

: 00:28:10

lovely to see some few there.

705

: 00:28:12

And thanks Becky.

706

: 00:28:13

Bye.

707

: 00:28:15

Thank you for listening.

708

: 00:28:16

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

709

: 00:28:19

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

710

: 00:28:22

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

711

: 00:28:24

Dot com.

712

: 00:28:25

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

713

: 00:28:29

A F stories@outlook.com.

714

: 00:28:32

And don't forget.

715

: 00:28:33

You can make your catch phrase.

716

: 00:28:35

I don't drink.