Episode 2

Vic and Chloe, Sober, alcohol free stories and finding a million reasons to stop drinking

Published on: 13th June, 2025

Hi everyone and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria and I don't drink today. I'll talk to Chloe. Chloe's drinking began as a shy teenager and it gave her the confidence to kiss a boy! Growing up with an alcoholic father she adored Chloe sadly ended up becoming his carer, and the irony of using alcohol as her choice of stress relief led her to stop drinking and to create a whole new self.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everyone and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink today.

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I'll talk to Chloe.

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Chloe's drinking began as a shy teenager

and it gave her the confidence to kiss a

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boy growing up with an alcoholic father.

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She adored.

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She sadly ended up becoming his

carer and the irony of alcohol

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as her choice of stress relief.

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Led her to stop drinking and

to create a whole new self.

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, vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: hi Chloe.

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it's lovely to have you on the podcast.

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Thank you for agreeing to join me this

evening as always, I'm just gonna ask you

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to, to share your story with everybody

of who you were before you decided to

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stop drinking and perhaps some of the

reasons behind your decision, that

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have brought you to where you are now.

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Any challenges that you've faced?

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We had a little chat before we came

online and it sounds like you've

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got quite an emotional story, but

still, perhaps still going on.

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So, you know, feel free to share what

you want to and miss out what you want

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to as well, hopefully there's somebody

that, that your story will help.

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let's just go for it.

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big welcome and I'll hand over to you.

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So can you tell me a

little bit about yourself?

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Tell me your story.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yep.

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thank you for having me.

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So I'm Chloe and I live

by the Sea in South Devon.

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I've got two teenage children,

which is an experience and quite

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relevant I think, as they're

starting to experiment with alcohol.

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And I'm thinking back to

myself at that age and

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Hmm.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

what I want for them.

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You know, I don't want 'em to miss out on

experiences or be left out of anything,

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but it's, yeah, makes me quite reflective.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yes.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: So I did

start drinking around that kind of age.

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I grew up, my dad was an alcoholic and

I grew up absolutely idolizing him.

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So I grew up with an alcoholic parent,

but not in the situation where it

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was abusive or like really horrible.

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At least not.

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From my perspective, so I

absolutely idolized him.

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I could not wait to be old enough to start

drinking, like even as a young child, it

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was all I wanted was to start drinking

and I was quite a shy teenager and

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alcohol gave me an escape from being shy

and like I became confident and I could

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kiss boys and all that sort of thing.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Oh yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

Yeah, so I loved drinking.

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I would describe myself

like a professional drinker.

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I loved it and I was good at it.

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I could drink a lot.

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and I would be the first one to, you know,

oh, it's midday, we should start drinking.

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and the last one standing.

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And I, obviously had hangovers,

but I didn't have any like really.

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Bad stories.

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No.

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Like really awful experience.

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No rock bottom moment.

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But I had, , a million reasons to

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: stop drinking.

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So, you know, things like hangovers

and not being there for my kids

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in the way that I wanted to be.

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Or like stupid regrets or I can't

believe I said that last night.

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and.

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I just, there were so many

reasons to stop, and I'm sure

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everyone's got their own.

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I'm not gonna bore you with the reasons

why I chose to stop, but I know that a

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big one was that my dad has continued,

to be an alcoholic as he's older.

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And that means I now care for him.

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And I would quite often go and.

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Be caring for him and feel really, really

helpless, really sad, really angry.

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Not at him, but at the system

for kind of letting him down,

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not putting support in for him.

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And I would come home really stressed and

sad and angry, and feeling all these big

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emotions and how did I deal with that?

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I would have a drink and then I would

sit there and kind of stare at that

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drink, like, I don't even want this.

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This is the cause.

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Of all my problems and because it's

causing dad the problems that are

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becoming my problems, and so it was

just so confusing and different.

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It added another layer of difficulty

to an already difficult situation.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

very complex to have.

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The thing that you hate so much for your

dad is the thing that you're reaching for.

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Because it will give you that

immediate release, but, you

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know, oh, it's, that's very hard.

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I'm feeling a lot of pity for

you in that situation because,

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actually more than that, probably

empathy for you, it's not easy.

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Very complicated feelings

around that, isn't there?

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: So

much and so I have all these

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reasons to stop, but ultimately.

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They weren't what make me stop.

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we've all got a million reasons

why we shouldn't be drinking.

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We all know that.

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the impact on our health, the impact

on our families, all the rest of it.

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But what made me do it was around.

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Wanting to be sober and like once

I was able to make that decision,

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I want to be sober rather than,

I don't want to drink anymore.

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Because I think when we talk about not

wanting to drink anymore, what we mean

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is that we don't want hangovers and we

don't want all the bad bits, but we still

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wanna be able to go out and socialize and

dance and, and have the good side of it.

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And you have, I think I had to get

to a point where I let go of that

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and I was like, no, I want early

mornings and I want to be able to

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put more time and energy into my

business and I want to be a better mom.

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Once it was about the

things that I wanted,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Mm-hmm.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

it actually became easy.

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So of course I had tried to

cut down, I tried to stop.

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I'd done all the dry januaries and all

the rest of it, and always gone back to

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drinking and been glad to go back to it.

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but as soon as I decided like, no,

that's not who I want to be anymore.

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I want to be sober now.

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it was just like a switch flipped for

me and I just became a whole new person.

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You know, people talk about like, you've

gotta go and find yourself, but it

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really was, no, I get to create myself.

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I've got all this extra time

and I can choose how to spend

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it and who I want to be.

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And so that identity

piece is so important.

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And I think what showed me that that

was possible was, so I'm a coach and

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I really noticed that the clients who

were achieving the best things, the

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ones who I was really inspired by.

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what all didn't drink

and it wasn't a big deal.

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They would just, you know, one of my

favorite coaching questions is, how

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are you gonna celebrate whatever?

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And I just noticed this pattern where

people kept saying to me, oh, well I don't

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drink, so I'll book a spa day, or I'm

gonna do this holiday, or I'm gonna go out

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for a brunch, or what, whatever it was,

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To until then, like all of my friends

drank, everyone in my life was a drinker.

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And so if you asked any of us how

we were gonna celebrate it would've

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definitely involved Prosecco.

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And you know, I'd never, I'd never

heard people just talk about being

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like, not even being sober, but just.

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Just talk about not drinking

in such a casual way.

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Like they weren't an alcoholic.

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They didn't have a problem,

they weren't in recovery.

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They just, they don't drink

because it's not serving them.

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And I was like, yeah, I wanna be you.

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Like, that's what I want.

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And so once it became like

aspirational, it was easy.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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It's a very different approach,

isn't it when you are not thinking,

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well I'm giving something up.

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You are actually thinking about all the

things that you are finding and that are

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new and the exciting stuff that you can

do, and the calm stuff that you can do.

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this is just this whole

new world , isn't it?

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it's amazing.

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my approach was.

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What am I getting from this?

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Mm-hmm.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: I didn't

necessarily think I was doing that.

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I didn't know I was really doing

that, but it, I definitely was.

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And I mean, there were a few times

where it was hard and at the beginning

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I found, obviously there was the odd

night, there was the odd holiday.

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There's all sorts of different situations,

which you just have to think, well, this

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is my first time doing this and , how can

I enjoy it in another way of those things.

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But overall.

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it wasn't really, really, really

hard to stop doing something that I

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thought was going to be really, really,

really hard because I wanted it.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

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And I think the holiday

thing is really important.

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So I went on an all-inclusive

holiday and I think I was

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around 80 days at that point.

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I was so worried about it, and

I really thought that I'm not

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gonna get my money's worth.

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And then I had to just reframe it as,

of course my holiday is gonna be longer

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because I'll be able to get up early

in the morning and enjoy the early

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morning part of the holiday without

being hungover, and I'm gonna come

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back feeling genuinely refreshed and

relaxed and not like I need another

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holiday to get over the hangover.

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So it seems, I've reframed it

as this is, this is how you

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made the most of your holiday.

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It, it wasn't an issue.

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And I think so many people.

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Will, well, they'll stop drinking

and they'll cut right back, and

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they're like, oh, I just save it

for Christmas or for weddings,

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or for birthdays or for holidays.

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And, and then it's like you're putting

it on a pedestal, which means you

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miss it when you're not drinking.

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And so it never, it always feels

like a challenge and deprivation

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and you want to make it all,

all the good things that you're

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getting, not what you are giving up.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I think for some people that's

very hard as well, because

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they don't necessarily know.

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They don't really know what

the good things are gonna be.

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And if you've spent a long time

drinking and filling your time with

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drinking or thinking about drinking, I.

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To then know what it is that you

wanna do, but there's just a world

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of stuff out there, isn't there?

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I took up paddle boarding at one point.

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I mean, I don't do it anymore.

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I bought two paddleboards, literally

asked for them for my birthday,

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and I've never taken them out.

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My husband keeps reminding me.

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Um, but do you know what?

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It was just fun buying them because at

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

I was like, I'm

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: And you, but

also you are like, I'm saving so much

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money so I can just buy whatever I want.

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I wrote a book in my

first six months sober.

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Like,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: way.

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Did

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

just got all this time.

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you can fill it however you want.

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Like it's incredible.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: write?

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: yes, it's

called Work hard, rest Hard, play hard.

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So it's all about balance.

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And there is some, it, , I wasn't

that confidently sober at that point.

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So there's some alcohol stuff

in there, but not loads.

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But in terms of, , so work, rest, and

play is how I kind of frame everything.

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So, and in terms of drinking, like.

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Lots of us in terms of work we drink

to when we've had a stressful day.

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We drink when we like got a new client

or , there there's the Christmas party.

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And then in terms of rest, when we want

to rest and relax, even on when we book.

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A spa day with friends, go and

have this lovely spa day and then

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get hammered on Prosecco later

on and kind of cancel it all out.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: and I know

like with my clients that it's, the

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play is the hard bit so people can

kind of cope with the working things.

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You can say you're driving and

leave early, or whatever, and

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people have other ways to relax.

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So many people struggle with the

play like, how am I gonna socialize?

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and I'll say like, what do you do for

fun that doesn't involve alcohol and.

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People just go blank.

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And it's,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: I dunno.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

it's heartbreaking.

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And I was the same, like I,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: alcohol

was part of all of my fun and,

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and even like, so I used to do a

lot of hula hooping, for example.

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And even that, like I, my favorite

bit was going to the pub afterwards.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: it was

just connected to everything and.

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, It is heartbreaking that we feel

that we need alcohol to have

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fun or to be around our friends.

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We need alcohol to feel safe around

the people that we are closest to.

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Like, that's,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: it's madness

when you are reflecting it, but when

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you are in it that it's just normal,

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Yeah, it is normal.

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It's , normalized, isn't it?

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So we, you know, that's what we see.

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That's what we see on tv.

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That's what we see when

we walk out our doors.

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I mean, it's beautiful today.

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The weather is gorgeous.

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I know there's gonna be a lot more

people going to the pub tonight.

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And if I went out, if I was working

in town, you'd be walking past all

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these people sitting outside pubs.

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And that little bit of my brain that,

that sometimes creeps in would say

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to me, oh, wouldn't it be lovely

to sit there and have like a lovely

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apparel or something like that.

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And then like, the bit of my brain

that loves my life goes, oh God,

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you know exactly what would happen.

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Yeah.

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And if you did that, it would just be,

it would not be one, it would probably

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be four, and then you'd miss the train

and then all those things would happen.

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It'd just be a nightmare.

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I, it's, I always have to really

play the tape if I, if I see

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those sorts of situations.

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But it's because it's so normalized.

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, There's not that many people who I'm gonna

say are brave enough to say, no, I don't.

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I don't wanna do that anymore

because it doesn't serve me.

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It doesn't make me happy.

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it does quite the opposite

for whatever reason.

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Whether it be something to do with your

parent or my parent, or whether it be

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just that you are a bit miserable and

grumpy, you know that it is, it doesn't

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have to be a great big reason, does it?

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: And it's

the small ones that do it in the.

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End.

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And I think that just kind of

thinking of the socializing thing,

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I live by the sea and we would all

be sat on the beach having a beer.

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Like you can absolutely do that

with an alcohol free option.

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But I think the main thing is just

my relationships with my friends have

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changed so much and that held me back

from doing it sooner because I was worried

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like, oh, how am I gonna socialize?

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And actually I.

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Like I am definitely less sociable than I

was, but I'm more purposeful about who I

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see and I feel more connected with them.

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We do nice and I can actually

remember our conversations now and

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that sort of thing, and I really

realized like I didn't actually like

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socializing as much as I thought I did.

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Like I liked drinking.

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That's why I was gonna pub.

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I like, I might pretend I was there

to see my friends but I wasn't.

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I was there to drink and I think

I've only really recently really

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understanding that and that, yeah, it's

much, you know, we grew up watching

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like friends and whatever, and, and

I've always dreamt of like, wouldn't

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it be nice to just have five friends?

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instead of like, I've got hundreds

of friends and it's exhausting

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and I can't keep in touch anymore.

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But actually now I am much more like that.

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Like I have a smaller,

closer group of friends.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Yeah, much more probably selective

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and you, and when you are with

those people, you are right.

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You can be completely yourself

then and very authentic.

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And I, I feel that I, I know same

thing has happened with me and

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my friends there were friends

that I would always drink with.

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I was worried that perhaps I would

lose those friendships we, we would

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always drink when we were together.

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that hasn't been the case actually.

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They're still very much

good friends of mine.

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And I now, one of them,

we have morning, chats.

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So I go for a walk every morning now at

like seven and, That's when we catch up,

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that's when we have our catch up and it's

always a really good catch up and I learn

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loads from her and it's really insightful

and we are just there for each other.

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It's lovely.

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I never could have done that before.

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A, I would've had a hangover at

seven o'clock in the morning.

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and also, yeah, you're right.

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You're not fully there

when you're drinking.

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And I see that if I'm, I dunno if you

feel this, but if I'm out with friends

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who are drinking and I love my friends,

I'm not knocking them for, for drinking

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or otherwise, but after they've had

a couple of drinks, you know, they're

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not really listening to you anymore.

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is a bit, it's a bit, it's

a bit distracting actually.

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To be with someone who's listening to you,

because they're, it's not fully there,

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I suppose when they're drinking or maybe

they're thinking about their next drink.

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That's what I would've been doing.

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Definitely.

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I would've been sitting there thinking,

I wonder why they're drinking so slowly.

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I wonder if it's, is it appropriate

for me to get another drink yet?

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Maybe I'll have to wait and

I'm thinking, oh my God.

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Can you hurry up and drink that?

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Drink please?

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chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

But you know what?

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Like, so now I think I really

enjoy the beginning of a night

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out, and I used to hate that bit.

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And now I enjoy the beginning when

we're having nice conversations,

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and then when they start repeating

themselves and slurring and it starts

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getting busier, and I can't hear

them anyway, like I just go home.

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But I used to at that point be

like, oh, I'm not having fun.

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I'm a bit bored or a bit uncomfortable.

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I'll just go like, get some shots and

like drink myself into enjoying it.

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I'm just like, Hmm.

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If you, if you don't enjoy it without a

drink, then maybe you just don't enjoy it.

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You have to have a substance

to help you enjoy something.

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Maybe you just don't like

doing that thing and it's fine.

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You can just go home.

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vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

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I think lots of people, who drank

for confidence, which certainly

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was somewhere in the mix with me.

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Like the same thing as you said

about, if you discover drinking,

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all of a sudden you can kiss a boy.

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Like those kind of things.

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And like you just feel that, you

know, like a bit more sassy I think

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if you are someone who does that and

you've done it from an early age.

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:

You might presume that you are a very

confident socialite, and that that's

354

:

sort of the person you are, because

I did, I really thought I was this

355

:

very social butterfly and all of that

stuff, but when I stopped drinking,

356

:

I did realize That wasn't the case.

357

:

I am actually quite shy.

358

:

I do get tired in social situations.

359

:

I enjoy spending time with

people to a point, and then I'm

360

:

very happy to take myself off.

361

:

I didn't know that about myself at all

before, and I would never have discovered

362

:

that about myself if I'd kept drinking.

363

:

'cause you just mask it.

364

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah,

and I feel like since I've stopped

365

:

drinking, I feel like I've returned

to who I was before I started.

366

:

some of those more kind of shy and

quiet personality traits have come

367

:

out in a really nice way because I am.

368

:

So much more confident without it.

369

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

370

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: part of

that confidence is just about like

371

:

clarity and who I am and the ability

to say no to things that I don't

372

:

want to do so that I can say yes

to more of what I do want to do.

373

:

So it's all a lie, isn't it?

374

:

Like all the things you think

alcohol gives you are actually

375

:

the things it's taking from you.

376

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Yeah, definitely.

377

:

Oh God, yeah, a hundred percent.

378

:

the confidence thing, absolutely.

379

:

In that moment, I may have thought

that it made me more confident, but

380

:

the truth is, when it came to things

like, work, all of those things, I

381

:

didn't think very much of myself.

382

:

I didn't think I was a very good.

383

:

Person because I, because I had this

guilt about like, oh, I drink too much.

384

:

And I wasn't someone

who was on a part bench.

385

:

You know, I was someone who a

normal mom who'd been through the

386

:

mummy drinking culture spamming.

387

:

And, I did that thing where I

did Prosecco at my kids' parties.

388

:

We, you know, it was all just

so normalized and it's just how

389

:

we behaved, but I still felt

this horrendous guilt about it.

390

:

And maybe that comes

with the parent thing.

391

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Oh yeah.

392

:

It's inbuilt, isn't it?

393

:

Inbuilt.

394

:

But I think that, so I, like I said,

like I grew up with an alcoholic

395

:

parent, . And I never once was made

to believe that it was my fault.

396

:

But we give our kids teachers

bottles of wine and say, it's 'cause

397

:

my child is the reason you drink.

398

:

In front of our kids, and we will joke

about that in front of our children.

399

:

We will say like, alcohol's really bad.

400

:

You shouldn't drink, but I'm drinking

because parenting you is so hard.

401

:

Like

402

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

403

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

that's so damaging.

404

:

like, I just can't believe that

that is so normalized that we don't

405

:

even question that we're doing it.

406

:

And yeah, it's horrible

and I really regret.

407

:

Not being there more for my kids when

they were smaller, because now they're

408

:

big and they don't wanna hang out with.

409

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

410

:

you can't regret it though, can you?

411

:

I mean, you didn't know, did you, you

didn't know then what you know now.

412

:

I think I, we all feel, the lady that

I spoke to in the last episode of my

413

:

season two talking about this guilt

that we can feel about not having

414

:

been there enough for the kids.

415

:

I do sometimes think about those

times, you know, when you've

416

:

rushed a story or you've, , you've

put 'em to bed a bit earlier.

417

:

She's just done in, and you just

wanted to have the wine 'cause that

418

:

was the thing that you thought made

you feel better and blah, blah, blah.

419

:

All of the nonsense that you're told.

420

:

Um.

421

:

Actually, I had then seen, at some

memories on Facebook and like seen

422

:

all these pictures of all these

amazing times that I had with my

423

:

kids and I did have amazing times.

424

:

I think we can all be a bit

hard on ourselves, can't we?

425

:

When we look back and you are

amazing mom and shouldn't be

426

:

thinking that about yourself.

427

:

Absolutely.

428

:

How old are your teenagers?

429

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Uh, uh.

430

:

Old are I 13 or 15?

431

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Oh, okay.

432

:

So I've got a 13 in a month and

a 15-year-old as well, so we

433

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Oh,

434

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: the same.

435

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: matching care.

436

:

And so, yeah, so we really, you know,

I'm sure that we probably had some

437

:

similar, similar sorts of experiences.

438

:

but I think something that sort of like,

like I said, like my dad is, is still ill.

439

:

And what I'm seeing is what

we've seen in his care is that

440

:

he, no one has ever linked.

441

:

His drinking to his health problems.

442

:

So the health professionals have

never helped him see that connection.

443

:

And I have only come to understand

it myself because of my learning.

444

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

445

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: so he

drinks so he's in a lot of pain.

446

:

So he drinks to help him sleep and

to help him deal with the pain.

447

:

And what I understand now

is that, alcohol is poison.

448

:

And so when you drink alcohol, all

of your immune system and all of your

449

:

body's energy is going to breaking down

that alcohol and not dealing with pain

450

:

and other health conditions, and also

stopping him getting into the right kinds

451

:

of sleep But he at no point has a doctor

or another health professional actually.

452

:

Joined the dots for him there, and it's

always been, he goes, he's felt that.

453

:

he goes into an appointment and will

say like, I'm struggling with this

454

:

pain or whatever it's, that's going on.

455

:

And they leap to how

much are you drinking?

456

:

Which he immediately then puts his

walls up because he's like, I don't

457

:

wanna talk to you about my drinking.

458

:

I wanna talk to you about

my pain and my neck.

459

:

And I think one simple sentence reinforced

every time he'd had an appointment,

460

:

would've had that message get through.

461

:

And I just think we don't,

we don't recognize that.

462

:

So.

463

:

When we are drinking as some kind of

cure for pain or for not sleeping,

464

:

we don't recognize that what we're

actually doing, like, exactly like

465

:

with confidence and happiness,, the

thing that you think you're getting is

466

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

467

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: you

are actually giving that up.

468

:

You are giving it to alcohol, not

getting it from alcohol, and it's,

469

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

470

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: it's

taken me a really long time

471

:

to understand that and seeing.

472

:

his experience with medical professionals.

473

:

So my, my mom died of cancer and

was completely different story.

474

:

You know, like they're all over you.

475

:

They can't do enough for you.

476

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Mm-hmm.

477

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: I feel

like when you as a drinker, they can't

478

:

ever see past the alcohol to like the

reason that you're actually drinking.

479

:

Like try and help you

480

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

481

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

actually work through that.

482

:

And I think It's just really sad that

there's so little understanding and

483

:

I think that's because alcohol is so

normalized and most of those doctors

484

:

drink and they don't wanna face some

of those truths themselves, so they're

485

:

quite happy to gloss over them.

486

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

the only drug

487

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Mm-hmm.

488

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

that blame the person for the

489

:

problem, like every, if, if you are.

490

:

you were at the doctors with

anything else, it would be, well,

491

:

that's a terrible substance and,

, we'll help you to get off that.

492

:

And, , there would be, but because you

are right, it's because people don't,

493

:

they, they don't wanna be confronted with

the fact that actually it's the alcohol.

494

:

Your dad isn't the problem.

495

:

The, the alcohol is the problem.

496

:

And for whatever reasons that has got him.

497

:

and it did mine to an extent as well.

498

:

And, It's really frustrating to

hear that that's the way that it's

499

:

treated by healthcare professionals

because they should know better.

500

:

And actually it's a, isn't

it a class A carcinogen?

501

:

Alcohol?

502

:

I mean,

503

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: It's with

alcohol compared to other drugs that

504

:

we see as much worse is the impact.

505

:

On families, the impacts of, , car

accidents because someone's drunk driving

506

:

or even walking in the road went drunk.

507

:

Like the impact of alcohol is so much

bigger than the impact of any other drug,

508

:

and on basically our whole population.

509

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

yeah, yeah.

510

:

But it's, it's almost too big for them to.

511

:

To say that although there are

now they're starting to talk

512

:

about warnings, aren't they about

particularly the cancer causing effects?

513

:

Do you mind me asking,

what's wrong with your dad?

514

:

Is it to do with drinking

the, the illness that he

515

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah,

so he's got many illnesses, but the

516

:

main one is he had an accident and,

dislocated his shoulder and damaged

517

:

his neck and it's just never been.

518

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Never recovered.

519

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Ated

and which that's like 30 years ago.

520

:

And so that's, that's really

the cause of the drinking.

521

:

And then he is got, asbestosis, which is

obviously nothing to do with drinking.

522

:

and then like very, like cataracts

and hearing and, , the works.

523

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: stuff.

524

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

just getting old.

525

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

It's hard.

526

:

My dad actually had dementia in the

527

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Mm-hmm.

528

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

which they did.

529

:

They did say was linked to the,

to alcohol, which played a factor

530

:

in my deciding to stop as well.

531

:

because I was really concerned.

532

:

I didn't know.

533

:

It's not until you stop really, that

you find everything out, but that

534

:

was the one thing that I was a bit

suspicious about with alcohol because

535

:

I thought, , he's got this dementia.

536

:

They, somebody somewhere along the way

said to me it was linked to his drinking.

537

:

And I obviously hid that in my head for a

while, but then I was like, actually, if

538

:

that's the case, that could happen to me.

539

:

And you and I have obviously

got children of the same age.

540

:

You don't, can't bear the thought

of that then can you, being in that.

541

:

That unwell for your kids

to have to, to cope with.

542

:

I feel sorry for your dad because he's

obviously in pain and like, you know,

543

:

he needs, he needs support with that.

544

:

It's such a shame that there isn't

somebody better out there to support him.

545

:

Some services.

546

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Well, that

is I'm the, my way of fighting back

547

:

is that I, facilitate some health

coaching training for healthcare

548

:

professionals in my local area who are

549

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: That's.

550

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: working with.

551

:

So like self neglect is the NHS term.

552

:

So it is like hoarding and addiction

and, not eating properly and all of

553

:

those just not, not doing all the

self care stuff that we probably

554

:

spend quite a lot of time doing now.

555

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah.

556

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: so, yeah,

so it's really, I feel like I'm

557

:

fighting back and doing my bit to kind

of try and change things, which is,

558

:

yeah, I'm like, I'm so proud of it.

559

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

That's so good.

560

:

So is that with your coaching, you

have a coaching business, don't you?

561

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yes.

562

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

work, you work in coaching.

563

:

do you wanna tell us a bit about it?

564

:

'cause you've got a

565

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: yeah,

566

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: listening

now, so it might be nice to share it.

567

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: yeah.

568

:

So, um, so this is, with a

charity and my colleague visits

569

:

the clients and supports them.

570

:

I'm training up coaches who are either.

571

:

employed health professionals or

volunteers, like coaches that want to

572

:

build up their hours and experience

or just give something back.

573

:

I'm teaching them coaching skills with

the idea that if you go in and let people

574

:

work towards the thing that's important

to them at their own pace, in their own

575

:

way, even if it's something that seems

really small and irrelevant, once you get

576

:

that evidence that you can do hard things.

577

:

You start shifting your identity

and your beliefs, then you can

578

:

start it snowballs, doesn't it?

579

:

And you can start to do more.

580

:

And the health professionals

just don't have the time to spend

581

:

with people to really get to

the bottom of what's going on.

582

:

Because quite often that, like

hoarding and particular is quite

583

:

often linked to bereavement.

584

:

And so, but people who maybe would never

want some bereavement counseling, but.

585

:

Doing this, it can, it

can help 'em through it.

586

:

And like we work with people who, from

the outside you would have no idea.

587

:

And like, they keep their garden nice

because the neighbors can see that and

588

:

they maybe are dressed nice and they will

go out, but like inside the house is chaos

589

:

and they just don't have any guests ever.

590

:

So, the numbers for this are really

unknown it's really exciting to be

591

:

able to try and make that difference.

592

:

'cause I know I've sat in meetings

with health professionals where I've

593

:

heard, they'll be going through a

list of patients and when there's

594

:

the one who's an alcoholic, like

they are treated differently and

595

:

it is like, well, they don't really

matter or they're never gonna change.

596

:

And it's just trying to change some

of those perceptions and raise some

597

:

awareness It is just beautiful.

598

:

It's such a brilliant

project to be part of.

599

:

And I do feel like sometimes when

I feel like I'm banging my head

600

:

against a brick wall with dad,

that's what gives me the strength.

601

:

And like, no, I am, I'm fighting back.

602

:

And even if it's not

directly helping him, it is.

603

:

It is gonna make an even bigger

difference, and it's gonna, ripple

604

:

out and change some perceptions and

change things for those people who

605

:

are struggling and for their families.

606

:

Like, this is the bit, right, like I

know how much I'm struggling, so I want

607

:

to make sure we are not just helping the

person, but the family and the people

608

:

around them, because it's really hard.

609

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Yeah, it is really hard.

610

:

You are right.

611

:

Well, that's amazing.

612

:

Congratulations.

613

:

But this is the thing, once you

decide that you're not gonna

614

:

drink anymore, then the world's

your oyster like that, isn't it?

615

:

If you hadn't stopped drinking, would you?

616

:

I wouldn't be doing this podcast often

you find people who've stopped drinking

617

:

and have this outlook that you and I

seem to have of, the real positive.

618

:

You really want to give

something back and do something.

619

:

So we find a way, don't we?

620

:

Whether it's an Instagram, whether

it's a podcast, whether it's

621

:

something as amazing as you are

doing, which is obviously much bigger.

622

:

so yeah, well done that, that

will help so many people.

623

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

624

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

fascinated by hoarding actually.

625

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Like,

626

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: yeah.

627

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: you

know, like all of being able to

628

:

give something back and help others.

629

:

it's not entirely selfless, is it?

630

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

No, not at all.

631

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

632

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

know, well, because it makes you feel

633

:

good because you're doing something

nice for someone and that does

634

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

635

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: good.

636

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

637

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

it's really funny.

638

:

I remember, before Christmas,

one of my, first year sober.

639

:

And I was on this big WhatsApp group

with some amazing women, and we

640

:

decided to do a run up to Christmas,

advent, things to do every day.

641

:

to make you feel good.

642

:

So there was stuff in there like skincare

and All different stuff like that.

643

:

And one of the things was go and

do something kind for someone

644

:

today that you may not have done.

645

:

And I actually was in the supermarket

and there was this poor mom.

646

:

two kids who were crying their eyes out

and she couldn't find her bank card,

647

:

she just wanted to get 'em snacks.

648

:

I mean, it was probably about

six quids worth of stuff.

649

:

So obviously I paid for her shopping.

650

:

The buzz that I got out of that, it

was the best six quid I've ever said.

651

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah,

652

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

was amazing.

653

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: yeah, that's,

and like you wouldn't have from a pint,

654

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Oh God, No.

655

:

That just would've made another one.

656

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: I'm sure that

gratitude has been part of your journey.

657

:

and I think it's a such a big thing, isn't

it, kind of getting to the end of the day

658

:

and like, what am I grateful for today?

659

:

And you know, people journal

three things or whatever,

660

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Yeah,

661

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: I think

what's also really powerful is to ask

662

:

yourself, who is grateful for me today?

663

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

that's a great question.

664

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: It makes

sure, because you have probably done

665

:

something nice for someone every day if,

you know, if it's paying six quid for

666

:

some snacks or holding a door open for

them, And actually just reminding yourself

667

:

like, oh, I am pretty proud of myself.

668

:

I'm a good person.

669

:

And I think for a lot of people, and

especially those who have been at the

670

:

kind of rock bottom end of things, to

have that recognition every day, like,

671

:

I'm a good person, I'm proud of myself.

672

:

That is massive.

673

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: yeah.

674

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

So, yeah, I think

675

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: is.

676

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: it's something

to add into your daily practice.

677

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

I'm definitely gonna do that.

678

:

I'm gonna go tell my

husband that as well now.

679

:

But everybody listening, your

new daily practice wants you

680

:

to ask yourself that question.

681

:

It's a brilliant question.

682

:

I love that.

683

:

I've never heard it before, so I'm

definitely gonna be trying that.

684

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Excellent.

685

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623: Look,

our time has come to an end, I'm afraid.

686

:

So lovely.

687

:

A way of sharing everything and

letting us a little glimpse into your

688

:

world and what you've been doing.

689

:

I think, just fascinating the

route that you've taken and that

690

:

you are giving so much back.

691

:

That's not a small thing

that you are doing.

692

:

It's immense.

693

:

And, I hope you're really proud of it.

694

:

It's just Sounds fantastic.

695

:

is there a name the coaching that, that

you can tell us just so that everybody

696

:

knows in case somebody wants to up

697

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622: Yeah.

698

:

so my business is Hopscotch coaching.

699

:

you could, best place

to find me is Instagram.

700

:

so I'm Chloe mys, coach

with underscores in between.

701

:

Um, so I'm, I'm sure you.

702

:

Tech, me and things.

703

:

vic-host854_2_04-29-2025_190623:

Yes, of course I will.

704

:

Well, thank you so much, Chloe

I'm gonna say goodbye there.

705

:

chloe_1_04-29-2025_190622:

Thanks very much.

706

:

Thank you for listening.

707

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

708

:

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

709

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

710

:

Dot com.

711

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

712

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

713

:

And don't forget.

714

:

You can make your catch phrase.

715

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

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VICTORIA Banat