Episode 1

Vic and Beth, Sober, alcohol free stories and being "dramatic"

Published on: 6th June, 2025

Hi everybody and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria and I don't drink. Today I talk to Beth. Beth's story will resonate with so many drinking, a bottle of wine a day. Didn't feel quite enough for the support groups that Beth had tried to stop drinking with. And 10 months into her sobriety, Beth convinced herself that she had control.... Then lockdown happens. The rest is Beth's story to tell.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

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Today I talk to Beth.

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Beth's story will resonate with so

many drinking, a bottle of wine a day.

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Didn't feel quite enough for

the support groups that Beth

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had tried to stop drinking with.

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And 10 months into her sobriety, Beth

convinced herself that she had control.

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Then lockdown happens.

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The rest is Beth's story to tell.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

welcome Beth, this evening.

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It's lovely to speak with you.

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It's exciting because this is the first

in the series, first of series three.

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So no pressure.

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I've also got a bit of a croaky

voice 'cause I'm just recovering

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from a virus, so excuse me if

I sound a little bit raspy.

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It's I haven't been smoking or anything.

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It's just my poor old throat.

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Beth in the, podcast, just like my guests

to come on and just share the story, of

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their sober living, so you know, what

happened, who were you, before you decided

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to stop drinking, and what were the sort

of sliding doors moments that made you

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think, this perhaps isn't for me anymore,

and led you to the decision to stop.

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And then we'll maybe talk about some of

the tools that you might have used, things

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that were successful so that anyone that's

listening who feels like they're a little

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bit like you were, can think, right?

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She's done it, and that means

that I can probably do it.

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So it's just really to support other

people to get to where you are,

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and to hear about your wonderful

life now that you are sober.

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So, I'll hand over to you and just

ask you what I ask all of my guests.

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If you could just tell us your story.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Brilliant.

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Thank you.

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It's lovely to be here.

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I've always had a bit of a

tricky relationship with alcohol.

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I've always loved it, loved it way

too much, and I, well it's strange

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actually because I haven't, when I

was a child, in the seventies you,

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your parents would let you have a

drink of alcohol and it was a joke

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how much I hated the taste of alcohol.

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Could not stand it, but

I worked hard at it.

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And in, you know, when I was a teenager,

we all started drinking at:

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I just found that whenever I drank, I was

always the one who was the most drunk.

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I was the one who got into

trouble, but obviously.

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It didn't stop me.

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I carried on.

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and I would say that although I used to

get into trouble when I was out drinking,

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and by that I mean that I used to have

stupid ideas, you know, and I would

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be the person that had to be on the

karaoke because I was the best singer.

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I was the best dancer.

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I'm a terrible dancer.

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and then I was also argumentative.

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You know, the taxi rank.

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I'm from Durham.

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Originally and my friends used to

panic because for some reason I had

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to think about trying to have fights.

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I mean, you know, I was this little tiny

blonde girl thinking she could fight

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men, and that was just me and alcohol

and I'm not like that in real life.

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Um, and so, you know.

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Then I went off to university and that's

when, you know, the big drinking started.

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And I remember quite early on

in uni thinking I haven't gone

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a day without alcohol, and

everything revolved around it.

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And again, I was the one that ended

up in hospital falling downstairs,

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you know, getting into trouble.

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Always the one that made

an absolute fool of myself.

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And I could remember at university one

day, you know, just sitting there and

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thinking, there's so many people that

only know drunk Beth and she's awful.

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And I wish people knew me when I was

sober because I'm nothing like that.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: So for

me, I always knew that the way I

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drank was different to other people.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I was never

one of those people, you know, even

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then, I couldn't understand people

who would just have one glass of

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wine because to me I was like, well,

that's like having an itch and just

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blowing on it instead of scratching it.

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you want to have the bottle.

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I never understood that and it was not.

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Interesting to me to have just

a small amount of alcohol.

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And so when I left university and

I moved down south, I would say my

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drinking did start to become an issue.

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I was very, very lonely.

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I was, living in a house on my own.

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I had a really good job.

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So I'd do that during the day, come home

to a, a house alone, and I did start

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drinking just bottles of wine on my own

because I was, I was lonely, I was bored.

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and again, every time I went out, I

was the one that was the most drunk.

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I was the one that would fall

over and it was exhausting.

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And then I got, married, had

children, and then this is

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where I'd say that I probably.

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Started to slip into gray area drinking

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: it was, you

know, most nights I would have a bottle

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of wine, and my argument would be, well

it's been stressful with the kids, or it's

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stressful managing work and the children.

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And then, you know, and I would

say it in ways that it didn't seem,

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such a big deal, like I would say to

him, well, it's my ex-husband now.

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But I would say to him, you

know, oh, just a little glass of

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wine just to make a joke of it.

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When he knew I meant.

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A bottle and he was

quite a big drinker too.

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And then we kind of, everything

sort of carried on like this.

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We split up.

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That was very stressful.

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So my drinking went up again there.

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Um, I had another baby, you know, I

got married and I'd say that the big

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problem for me, Kim, was well, one,

I was never happy with how I drank.

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And I'd had levels of sobriety before

I'd, you know, I had actually been to air.

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Um.

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But I felt like a fraud.

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I felt like a complete fraud sitting

there because I would listen to these

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people whose stories were so much worse

than mine and I would think they're

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just gonna think I'm really dramatic.

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You know, at this point I was having

a bottle of wine, but not every day.

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But I was definitely

drinking way too much.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: but I was kind

of, I knew that I couldn't stop drinking.

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But I didn't feel like I was at

that level, so I didn't feel like

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I could really be too involved.

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and also I was extremely shy at the time.

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I had horrendous, anxiety.

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And so I found that I

couldn't speak to people.

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And so I would have these moments, these

lengths of sobriety I had 10 months

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once, because I fell over and, I'd really

hurt my face and I frightened myself.

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So I had 10 months, but then at 10

months I got really bored and the whole

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time I was sober for the 10 months,

I was absolutely miserable about it.

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And so, I wasn't in a community, I

wasn't talking to anybody sober, so

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it was bound to be that the people

around me who also thought that I was

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being a bit dramatic when I said, you

know, well I've done it for 10 months.

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It shows I don't have a problem.

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I can drink again because

I've stopped once, which of

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course we know it's nonsense.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: And

so I started drinking again.

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And then of course lockdown happened,

which I know was an absolute

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disaster for a lot of people.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I was, I

wasn't working, I was, furloughed and

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so my husband would be working and it

was that boiling hot weather, so it

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felt like we were on holiday and, you

know, and then, and at, and we just got,

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You know, one of those big, lazy spas.

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So I'd be out there, you know, and it

started at 12 o'clock I'd be drinking

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because everybody else was, you know,

we even did Zoom calls and things with

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work where, you know, where people

were drinking and it became normality.

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but I found that my drinking then

spiraled and I started drinking way more

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than I ever have, and I couldn't stop.

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That's when I knew I was in big

trouble and you know, I just

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didn't recognize myself anymore.

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and that's when I knew that I

had to stop because everything

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around us was catered to drinking.

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You know, we were doing pub quizzes

online and the big thing was that

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everybody would turn up with their

alcohol because it was trying to

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keep this party atmosphere going.

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and so I got to desperation

and I did ring, an NHS helpline

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and the woman was great.

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and I, because I felt like I

needed accountability because

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when, you know, when I.

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When I was pregnant with my son,

I smoked, but because, and I, so I

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immediately wanted to stop smoking

and I did it with the NHS helpline.

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they used to have a helpline.

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I dunno if they still do, where

they kind of held you accountable.

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So I was able to stop and stayed stopped.

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So I felt like if I was accountable,

I would be able to stop again.

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But of course, you know,

she couldn't do that.

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So once I'd stopped drinking,

then they have to sign you off

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'cause of resources and things.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: And then,

I found a soba group online, and so I

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joined that and I made some really good

friends and I started volunteering.

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And the more that I spoke to other

sober people who were drinkers like

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me, you know, they hadn't been, the

stereotypical having a drink with

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breakfast, being out of control.

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I hadn't had any DUIs, I

hadn't lost my children.

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None of the stuff that people tend to.

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Almost, it's almost like the

standpoint we've gotta go by as to

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whether or not we've got a problem.

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And I hadn't hit that rock bottom that I

think everybody used to think you had to

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hit and neither had these other ladies.

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And also what was really good

was I made friends, lady Linda,

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she's still my best friend.

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and so when I had questions, I was able

to ring her up and say, you know what

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it's like at the beginning of sobriety

where your emotions are everywhere.

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You're exhausted, all these things

you didn't know was gonna happen.

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You're exhausted, but you can't sleep.

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You know, all of this.

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And I had somebody to speak

to and say, is this normal?

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And yes, it is normal and it will pass.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

And it will go.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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And I found that as the days went

on, I got stronger and the more that

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I volunteered and the more I spoke

to people, the more I had too much

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to lose, to start drinking again.

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And because everybody else who

was very positive about sobriety.

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That was the big difference between

when I had the 10 months because when

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I had the 10 months, I was miserable

about it and everybody around me

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kind of agreed it must be a very

miserable existence without alcohol.

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Whereas now I had people who

I could see that were years

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ahead of me and had lovely lives

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Nothing had really changed about,

apart from the fact they just don't

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drink anymore and they don't have the

anxiety, they don't have the pressures

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we put on ourselves when we drink.

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Because when I used to drink, you

know, I felt like I had to be the

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perfect mother because I wanted

to prove that I could do it all.

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And the alcohol wasn't kind of

holding me back and, you know, and

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I had to do well at work and, and

it just took a lot of pressure off.

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And so.

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You know, and I've done my social

media stuff and it's just, a lot of

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it has been about, you know, holding

myself accountable and also just being

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very open and honest with people.

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when people, at first I would say, oh,

I get really bad anxiety when I drink.

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whereas, now I tell the truth.

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I just say, it doesn't agree with me.

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I turn into Somebody who's not myself

I turn into a different person who

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has stupid ideas you could have the

best night of your life ever with

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me, or it could be the worst, and I

never know which one it's going to be.

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And also just the fact that health wise,

I could tell my health was starting to

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be affected by how much I was drinking.

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And I was, you know, at the end

I was desperate and I was sore.

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Tired.

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I was tired of drinking, you know,

and so that's my story really.

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It's very condensed, but you know,

I think that it's probably similar

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to a lot of people's stories.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah, it

sounds quite similar to mine to be honest.

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I think lots of people We're in

that gray area and we were talking

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before we hit record, weren't we?

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About how you can be kept there

because you don't think you are

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bad enough and your experience

of AA sounds like something that

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kind of fed into that because

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

do see, you know, that everybody

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else in the world sees an alcoholic

as a a particular type of person.

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But you also know in your heart.

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you are not being who you want to

be because of alcohol, and there's

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this real horrible disconnect and

it's very hard to know what to do

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when you are there because the whole

world is telling you it's normal.

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It's okay, but I like you.

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Well, honestly, I was a bit

of a pain in the ass when I

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Like

I was just not really very great.

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I mean, my friends would probably tell

you I was an absolute who, and you

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: this

crazy girl who would, you know, go out

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and sometimes yes, it, it was undoubtedly

fun and I did things that were fun.

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However, a lot of times it

wasn't, and not even necessarily

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for like a massive reason.

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I'd lose my bag or I'd missed

the last train home, or I'd

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send a message to someone that

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: a

way that I wished I hadn't sent it

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to them and upset them in some way.

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So it wasn't like doing like

really awful, awful things.

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You know, I didn't crash a car, none of

that sort of stuff, but I just was just

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this horrible version of myself and it

was really interesting when I stopped

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drinking very early on, I realized I

never had to be that a person again,

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

the weirdest relief.

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I remember literally thinking it,

thinking I'm choosing never see her again.

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I don't have to do that.

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I won't lose my bag.

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Well, actually I sometimes do lose

things, but that's just because I'm

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

But yeah, that's probably not

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the best example, I'm never ever

gonna be in that situation again.

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And it's such a massive relief.

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But I, like you couldn't

have done it alone.

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I like a hundred percent

needed a community around me.

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and I've talked about it,

those on the podcast, but I

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actually joined sober Easters.

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For that.

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And they've been amazing.

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But I also, joined some

kind of local stuff as well.

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So there's some girls who live

locally to me and we just would

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go for walks and catch up.

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And it's amazing how

much you have in common

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

done this, isn't it?

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It's just like this feeling.

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You kind of know the person.

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'cause you know how their soul felt when

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah,

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

made the decision.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I was telling

you earlier that I'm on the committee

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and volunteer now for a group called

the SOS collective, and you know, it's

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global and so we have people from all,

well, women from all over the world.

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From all different walks of life, and

yet we all share this one thing, which

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it seems to bond you in a way that

you wouldn't expect it to really, but

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it, because it's our thing, isn't it?

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It's our thing that we've all been through

and we've all known what it was like.

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it just makes it easier.

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But it's quite funny 'cause you

were saying about, , the messages.

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My big thing that I used to do as I

got older and not going out drinking,

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like in the pubs and clubs anymore,

mine was local Facebook groups.

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I was a nightmare.

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Once I'd had a glass of wine, I

would be on there arguing with

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people and, and oh my goodness.

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And being, you know, Mrs.

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Feminist and taking them all down.

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one day I argued for so long The next

day when I walk up and you've got

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the be a fear anyway, haven't you?

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I woke up I was so paranoid, I had to

change my Facebook profile picture and I

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changed my name 'cause I was so worried I

wore my hair in a ponytail for the week.

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'cause I didn't normally do that.

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I thought, what are you doing?

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This is not a way of living that

you're making yourself paranoid

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because of Facebook groups because

you become leery when you drink.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

That is quite funny though.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I, it is

funny it is now, but I mean, I remember

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'cause I changed my name to, to Beth Mt.

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And everybody that knew me was like, are

you suddenly taking a rap or something?

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And I'm like, no, I'm incognito.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

I just got really drunk and

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah,

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

on a local Facebook

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Oh dear.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: They find me.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

That's so funny.

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Yeah, I think it's easy to

do stupid things, isn't it?

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Publicly when you've had a drink, you just

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Oh

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: the

decision making process just goes,

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and mine would go very quickly.

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: yeah,

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: to

have one glass of wine and all of a

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: the

things I would absolutely not have done.

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Sober.

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I'd be like, oh yeah,

well that is a great idea.

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So it is a really good

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

to get on a train and go somewhere

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I've never been or anything.

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Just stupid stuff

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah,

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

work dues.

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Have that conversation with that person.

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That's been annoying

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: uh,

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Like,

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: And I'm

just glad that I was never, you know,

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rich, because I definitely would've

ended up in a different country.

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You know, I'll charter that yet

everybody with me because I honestly,

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I thought my ideas were just

the best and they were terrible.

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Absolutely awful.

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vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: yeah,

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beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: my

family's probably relieved

345

:

just for, for things like that.

346

:

But like you said, just getting

on a train somewhere, just

347

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: yeah.

348

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: that my brain

worked was, well, why wouldn't you,

349

:

why have I not thought of this before?

350

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

351

:

I always used to say to my friends,

if I ever die, I want my funeral

352

:

song to be don't stop me now.

353

:

And I really meant that because

that was exactly how I felt.

354

:

every time it was an evening and we'd

had a few drinks, everyone else would

355

:

wanna be going to bed or going home

or settling down or, just go, right.

356

:

That's it.

357

:

Now the evening's done.

358

:

And I was said, don't stop me now.

359

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

360

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

I'm having such a great time.

361

:

now I'm like, oh my God.

362

:

I wanna go to bed.

363

:

I do not want that to be

my funeral song anymore.

364

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: No.

365

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: I can

think of something a lot calmer, like

366

:

a lullaby or something might be nice.

367

:

But yeah, it's that invincible feeling

that you used to give yourself, but the

368

:

tenfold counter of that the next day

369

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Oh.

370

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

had to be the reason that you stop.

371

:

You just, I just would feel such

anxiety, such shame, really like.

372

:

I'm a bad mom, I'm a bad friend.

373

:

All of those, I'm a bad wife.

374

:

I've like caused another argument about

something ridiculous I wouldn't remember

375

:

either sometimes because , I could lose

my memory very easily when I drank.

376

:

I'm not sure why that was, but it.

377

:

I, I literally couldn't remember

conversations sometimes, and then

378

:

I would fill and think, well, what

379

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

380

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

What did I say?

381

:

The fear or the beer fear.

382

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Ugh.

383

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

No, thank you.

384

:

So tell me a bit about you now then.

385

:

So you joined that group and you stopped.

386

:

What was your biggest

challenge when you stopped?

387

:

Was there anything that you

found extremely difficult?

388

:

Did you have any tools that you used?

389

:

what was the story at that point?

390

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646:

So I stopped in,:

391

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

392

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646:

June the 21st, and I.

393

:

The first thing I did was I just

read and I loved, quit lit, so I just

394

:

read as much as I could because I

had found in the past on the times

395

:

when I the times when I'd stayed.

396

:

So it was when I was reading a

book, which I suppose is kind of

397

:

a bit like community, isn't it?

398

:

That you know, you are hearing

somebody else talk and you, and it's

399

:

somebody that you can identify with.

400

:

And so I read a lot.

401

:

I also went to a lot of meetings online.

402

:

In fact, in the early days, I went to

every meeting that I could get to, and

403

:

it really, really helped me because,

you know, I didn't share straight away.

404

:

And then once I started sharing

it, I think they wished I hadn't.

405

:

'cause I just didn't shut up.

406

:

But I was just by this point, because

I'd tried so many times to stop in

407

:

the past and it had never stuck.

408

:

I was terrified.

409

:

Of going back there and just so delighted

because it had been such a burden that

410

:

I was definitely on the pink cloud.

411

:

Definitely.

412

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yes.

413

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I was

absolutely delighted to be sober.

414

:

And so I went to every meeting I could.

415

:

I spoke to my friend Linda a lot, you

know, because she had a lot longer

416

:

sobriety than me and she understood.

417

:

I listened to podcasts.

418

:

I think what you need to do is you've

got to, because there's so much

419

:

negativity, it's ridiculous that I even

have to say this, but there's so much

420

:

negativity out there when people decide

to give up alcohol, you are treated

421

:

like, there's something wrong with you.

422

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm-hmm.

423

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: And

so it's really important that

424

:

you are around people who

understand and feel the same way.

425

:

So this is why, being in sober groups and

talking to sober people was so important.

426

:

And I would say that is what got me sober.

427

:

And also the fact that, again, when you

build these relationships and friendships

428

:

with people in sober groups, you do

have, a certain amount of accountability.

429

:

Because you feel like, you know, I used

to have nightmares that I drank again.

430

:

And how would I tell them?

431

:

Because you don't wanna let them down.

432

:

and also I just was like, with my

children, I was really honest and

433

:

I just said, it makes me unhappy.

434

:

And so I had accountability to them.

435

:

I mean, towards the end my

daughter hated me drinking.

436

:

And it was just getting as much

information in as possible,

437

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Hmm.

438

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: information that

would make it stick and a positive thing.

439

:

Whereas before I had, after I'd been

to aa, you know, before I relapsed, I

440

:

removed every number I'd been given at aa.

441

:

So I was definitely planning it I just

made sure I was around people who.

442

:

understood why I wanted to stop so that

I couldn't talk myself out of it, which

443

:

is what I'd done before, because I didn't

want the label of being overdramatic,

444

:

you know, and that I'd stopped when I

didn't need to, which again is ridiculous.

445

:

We shouldn't need an excuse

to stop drinking alcohol.

446

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: You

almost feel like you need to justify it,

447

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

448

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: get

that quite a lot as well, because of the

449

:

way that I drank and because I had kind

of like, it was always fun and it, you

450

:

know, to most of the time it was fun.

451

:

To my friends for me to be drinking,

unless they were trying to get me home or

452

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

453

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

like rescue me from something.

454

:

yeah, also you do, I did find that I

had to justify why I wanted to stop.

455

:

I still do find myself doing that

sometimes when people say, oh,

456

:

you don't drink, and it is like

you're a complete leper, but I.

457

:

I started really early.

458

:

I would blog a lot on sober baristas and

whenever I blogged, I signed it off with

459

:

I don't drink because I had an experience,

probably about a month into not drinking

460

:

where I had gone to, I won't say the name

of the hotel, but a famous brand of hotel

461

:

and I was staying there with friends.

462

:

Friends who drank, and we had

gone back there after dinner.

463

:

And I asked for a hot chocolate and.

464

:

He said to me, oh, I've

turned the machine off.

465

:

Why can't you just have a proper drink?

466

:

Is what

467

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Oh,

468

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: to me.

469

:

The bartender

470

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646:

that's appalling.

471

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: and I was

kind of affronted and said, well, because

472

:

I don't drink, and as soon as I said

it, I was like, oh, I quite like that.

473

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

474

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: I got

475

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

476

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

up to you about it.

477

:

he actually did me a little bit of a favor

because I blogged about that the next day

478

:

and I was like, right, that's gonna be.

479

:

Line I don't drink, which is why all

of my podcasts are signed off by it.

480

:

All of my blogs are signed off by

it because it tells me again and

481

:

again that I don't, and that that's a

482

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

483

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: thing.

484

:

it is a very positive thing 'cause

it's changed my life measurably.

485

:

I mean, I have a great life now, and I'm

accountable for everything that I do.

486

:

there's none of that

nonsense that used to go on.

487

:

so yeah, it's mad that you

have to justify it, isn't it?

488

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: It is

it's strange because when you

489

:

stop, I blocked as well, but I

their best stay where they are.

490

:

but you know, Myself, the way you grow

when you are not drinking is crazy.

491

:

Like the patience I have now.

492

:

I'm still not an angel, but

you know, and I'm able to.

493

:

Have discussions in a more mature way.

494

:

And I just know that I have done

a lot of work on myself, which, I

495

:

don't wanna sound, all airy fairy,

but you do when you stop drinking

496

:

because you've got all this time.

497

:

But also you do have to look at why

you drank like you did, and what

498

:

were you trying to escape from.

499

:

And so I definitely, as a

person have changed but it

500

:

hasn't just made my life better.

501

:

It's made my family's life better.

502

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

503

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: you

know people don't realize how

504

:

much of a change it can be.

505

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

506

:

Well, because you start to know

yourself a bit better and you

507

:

deal with things, don't you?

508

:

So, you know, like for example, I

experienced my dad's death when I

509

:

was sober and it was really awful and

it was really painful, But I felt it

510

:

because it was meant to be like, I

511

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

512

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

go and numb it out.

513

:

So you start to know yourself and how

you can deal with situations I'm far

514

:

from perfect and I can still sometimes

use my temper and I can still sometimes

515

:

get down and all of those things.

516

:

But I think just as a general,

there is a calmness about me.

517

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Mm.

518

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

existed before.

519

:

I feel calmer underlying it all

feel like it'll be all right.

520

:

And when

521

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

522

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: I never

felt like it was gonna be all right.

523

:

I always felt like something

was gonna go wrong.

524

:

even on the lovely days that I, we

had planned,, if we were going for

525

:

like a big picnic with friends or

something, somewhere in me, I'd be like.

526

:

What am I gonna do?

527

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah,

528

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: what am

I gonna do on this lovely day to ruin it?

529

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: exactly.

530

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

things, but that's how I felt.

531

:

I just thought of myself in such a

negative way, and I don't do that anymore.

532

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Good.

533

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: You

know, we all do sometimes, don't we?

534

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

535

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

I don't think I'm this awful

536

:

person anymore, that's for sure.

537

:

And that was a big thing for me to

realize actually, you are all right.

538

:

You are not this terrible.

539

:

Woman that you told yourself

you were all those times.

540

:

It's quite sad in a way, isn't

it, that we do that to ourselves.

541

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646:

It really is, but I think as

542

:

well when you stop drinking.

543

:

you stop being on the back foot

with people because now I have the

544

:

confidence in who I am and what I am.

545

:

and I know what my faults are,

but I also know what they're not.

546

:

Whereas when I was drinking because

I felt so guilty about how I drank,

547

:

I would take on anything anybody said

about me as fact, and I would always be,

548

:

willing to accept it and be in the wrong.

549

:

Because I was feeling so awful about

myself because I drank too much

550

:

and in a way I wasn't happy about.

551

:

And so now I start on a level playing

field every time because I know more about

552

:

me and I'm much more confident in myself

and that has been in work, everything.

553

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

554

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: so yeah.

555

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

you, no, you're no longer

556

:

apologizing for who you are, are you?

557

:

Because you've

558

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: That's it.

559

:

Yeah.

560

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: for.

561

:

And it, there is definitely a

confidence that comes with that.

562

:

That's just underlying, isn't it?

563

:

it's such a better place to be.

564

:

Definitely.

565

:

so I suppose before we finish up, it

would be really lovely to just hear what

566

:

would your advice be Like, let's say

if you were talking to yourself when

567

:

you were in that gray area and you were

like battling every day with like, you

568

:

know, trying to get life done, having a

bottle of wine and having that horrible.

569

:

feeling in the morning after doing

that again, what would you say to

570

:

yourself if you could tell yourself then

what you know now, what would it be?

571

:

Because someone is sitting there

like you were, and if they can

572

:

hear it might just be the thing.

573

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: I think I would

say that,, if you are wondering about your

574

:

drinking, then there probably is an issue.

575

:

However, if you are still

very undecided on it.

576

:

Why don't you stop drinking for a

little while and see if you feel better

577

:

without the alcohol in your life.

578

:

And if you do, then you

know it's the answer.

579

:

and just, you know, just have a break

for a while and see if that helps.

580

:

And then, you know, like we say one

day at a time, but the way that if,

581

:

if you, they're feeling like I was

feeling it couldn't be any worse.

582

:

So, you know, I'd say just,,

try it without, and see , why

583

:

are you clinging onto it?

584

:

What is it, Ben?

585

:

How is it benefiting your life?

586

:

And if it's not, then give out.

587

:

Uh, I'm just gonna say give alcohol a go.

588

:

That wouldn't be very good.

589

:

Give sobriety a go.

590

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

No, don't do that.

591

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646:

Yeah, please don't do that.

592

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: It

might be worth though, joining something

593

:

like joining a social group, and you

594

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Absolutely.

595

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646:

is that something that people

596

:

can join if they want to?

597

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yes,

it's the S Os Collective, the

598

:

Sova Online Sisters Collective.

599

:

It's on, we've got a website,

www.thesoscollective.com,

600

:

and we, are also on Instagram.

601

:

you can just, register and

then we'll be in touch.

602

:

we've got, Eight meetings a week.

603

:

at the moment we've got groups

on WhatsApp, and there's gonna

604

:

be courses and things coming up.

605

:

we're still quite new, so

we're just working on that.

606

:

and also I am on Instagram clicks

hyphen soba if you wanted to follow me.

607

:

I just put my musings

about sobriety on there.

608

:

But yeah, I definitely think that.

609

:

Community is the answer.

610

:

If you, you know, if you really,

if you want to get, so then it, it

611

:

is the thing that worked for me.

612

:

Definitely.

613

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

614

:

And I would agree with that.

615

:

When you are with sober people, you are

hearing the right things all of the time.

616

:

You're not battling against something.

617

:

So when you're thinking, oh, I feel

great, and you tell your sober friend,

618

:

they say, oh yeah, I felt great as well.

619

:

And this is, you know, you all of a

sudden you've got these shared brilliant

620

:

experiences that you can talk about.

621

:

Which feed into you realizing that this

isn't a difficult thing to do, this

622

:

is a really proud choice, and that you

can do it because it's a good thing.

623

:

You don't, all of a sudden you're

not losing out so much are you?

624

:

Because you are not the one person

sat in the corner going, oh,

625

:

I'll just have Diet Coke, please.

626

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Yeah.

627

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: by

lots of people who are buzzing about

628

:

it and they're all on pink clouds

and it's, it is, it's a great bit

629

:

of advice, so thank you for that.

630

:

, So I'm gonna say goodbye to

you now, so thank you so much.

631

:

Thank you, for all of your wise

words and sharing your lovely story.

632

:

I think it will be inspirational

to somebody out there, and I really

633

:

appreciate that you've come on and

done that because it's not the easiest

634

:

thing to do, to talk about this.

635

:

Publicly and I think you doing it

and me doing it and all of the other

636

:

guests that do it is just a great

message to get across that it's

637

:

actually a really good thing to be

sober and that's where we'll end.

638

:

So thank you so much.

639

:

beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Thank you.

640

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Beth,

641

:

. beth_1_04-29-2025_180646: Thank you.

642

:

vic-host813_1_04-29-2025_180646: Bye.

643

:

Thank you for listening.

644

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

645

:

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

646

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

647

:

Dot com.

648

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

649

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

650

:

And don't forget.

651

:

You can make your catch phrase.

652

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

Profile picture for VICTORIA Banat

VICTORIA Banat