Episode 8

Vic and Ellen, Sober Alcohol Free Stories , always knowing and sobriety bubbles!

Published on: 25th July, 2025

Hi everyone and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Vic and I don't drink! Today I talked to Ellen, who bravely made the decision to stop drinking at the age of 30 and just three months before her wedding, she's never looked back and has swapped her drinking music for running music. Super inspiring.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everyone and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

2

:

I'm Vic and I don't drink today.

3

:

I talked to Ellen, who bravely made the

decision to stop drinking at the age of 30

4

:

and just three months before her wedding,

she's never looked back and has swapped

5

:

her drinking music for running music.

6

:

Super inspiring.

7

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: hi

8

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Hi.

9

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

It is lovely to have you on,

10

:

on this rather sunny evening.

11

:

. I know you've listened to a few.

12

:

and really it's just for

you to share your story.

13

:

And the reason I ask you to do it

is because it will inspire someone.

14

:

And I know that you have a milestone

coming up, so I wanna hear about that.

15

:

I'm gonna hand over to ask if

you can just share the story of

16

:

how you went from Ellen, who was

a drinker to where you are now.

17

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Okay, so, yeah, I'm actually turning

18

:

four years sober next Saturday.

19

:

which is great.

20

:

if you had told me that five years

ago, I never would've believed you.

21

:

I'll preface it by saying that

I got sober at 30, which, at the

22

:

time felt like quite a young age.

23

:

I feel like a lot more people

are getting sober these days.

24

:

So I maybe don't feel as young as I did

then to have done it, I started drinking

25

:

pretty standard stuff when I was.

26

:

not super young, like 16, 17.

27

:

but I think for me, I, I

was quite shy growing up.

28

:

but I didn't have a

lot of self-confidence.

29

:

And I think when I started drinking,

even like the first couple of

30

:

times, I thought, this is great.

31

:

Like I, I felt like I could

talk to people easier.

32

:

yeah, I, I just felt like it gave

me that confidence boost, but the

33

:

problem with, with learning that

sort of straight away is that there's

34

:

no sort of coming back from that.

35

:

So I, I think like alcohol for me equaled

like being bubblier, being more fun,

36

:

having more fun sort of very early on.

37

:

I didn't wanna socialize without it.

38

:

and I sort of got away with that

for like my late teens and twenties

39

:

because that's what everyone did.

40

:

but even like early on when people

wanted to do something else that didn't

41

:

involve alcohol, I was always the

one that tried to make it about that.

42

:

and yeah, like that kind of worked.

43

:

For a bit like, like I remember going to

uni and thinking, oh, this is gonna be

44

:

great 'cause everyone's just gonna want,

like, will want to drink all the time.

45

:

and then like actually finding out

that people around me were happy

46

:

not to drink as much as I wanted to.

47

:

So I think that's probably when, that

was the first time I thought you,

48

:

you want this more than other people

49

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: It

is almost disappointing, isn't it?

50

:

When you were a drinker and somebody said.

51

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah,

I thought I was gonna be like among, I

52

:

mean, don't get me wrong, like we went

out, but I think when I first went to uni,

53

:

like obviously you're on your own for the

first time and like I think that's when I

54

:

realized I wasn't drinking on my own then.

55

:

But that was when I realized I

wanted to drink a lot more than

56

:

other people perhaps, or like

a lot more frequently I guess.

57

:

But then, yeah, going into my,

like when you move from halls to

58

:

being in a house, that's when I

actually started to drink on my own.

59

:

so I guess that was a turning

point that I point to.

60

:

But yeah, I sort of made it

pretty, my twenties is what you

61

:

would maybe call like a sort of.

62

:

Binge cycle.

63

:

but yeah, that sort of got, I guess,

more problematic as I kept drinking.

64

:

and then COVID happened,

well, no, I left uni.

65

:

And fell into a sort of,

binge drinking cycle.

66

:

I was unemployed for a while when

I was drinking, every day, drinking

67

:

on my own, drinking in the morning,

like all, all the, the greatest hits

68

:

of, having a issue with alcohol.

69

:

and then, I, I eventually Got a job stable

and it sort of just went back to, I guess,

70

:

socially acceptable drinking, but I was

drinking more, probably more than anyone

71

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

72

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: else.

73

:

I would drink before, so

we'd still go out, but I'd be

74

:

drinking before we went out.

75

:

and after, and then, yeah,

essentially COVID happened.

76

:

we were finding.

77

:

Ways to not be at the

pub, but still drink.

78

:

my drinking really went indoors.

79

:

I turned my spare room into a

pub to not miss the pub too much.

80

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Wow.

81

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

and then I guess when lockdown was

82

:

lifted, we had like a lot of things,

like we could do a lot of stuff again.

83

:

like I had a lot of things

I was looking forward to.

84

:

and with that sort of.

85

:

The wheels really came off.

86

:

Like I had a few weekends, in like summer

:

87

:

forward to like this thing and, but I

feel like my tolerance went down as well.

88

:

somehow I think I had to drink so much.

89

:

To feel anything that it was already

too much, if that makes sense.

90

:

So by the time I felt anything,

I was already too far gone.

91

:

God, that sounds awful.

92

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: I don't

93

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: But

94

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

think that sounds familiar.

95

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

does that make sense?

96

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: You're

not the only person that's said that.

97

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Really?

98

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Because you, you are used to

99

:

drinking an awful lot, so you, you

100

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

101

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: up

not feeling tipsy, which is actually

102

:

what you're probably looking for.

103

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Yeah, that stage was sort of missing.

104

:

It was like, oh, I don't, I don't

like recognize, this isn't working.

105

:

And then suddenly I'd be like, gone.

106

:

yeah, basically.

107

:

So, yeah, I had a few weekends that were

just off, like I just blackout weekends.

108

:

and I was getting to the point

where I thought, you know what,

109

:

like, I'm not even enjoying this.

110

:

This is pointless.

111

:

I'm getting in some awful situations.

112

:

Like I had, like nights

where I lost my purse.

113

:

I was waking up with like photos

on my phone that I didn't remember

114

:

taking with people I didn't even

remember speaking to, like, just,

115

:

just really not, not good situations.

116

:

And I was also thinking, do you know what?

117

:

I'm 30 now.

118

:

and I think I always knew right

from when I first ever picked up

119

:

a drink that I liked it too much.

120

:

I think I always knew that

one day I would have to stop.

121

:

I knew that straight away and

I thought I probably need to

122

:

start doing something about this.

123

:

so I started like.

124

:

I started fixing a date and

thinking, right, I'm not gonna

125

:

drink till this thing, like this

night out or this, whatever.

126

:

and I think I got to, like, I

was doing Sort of two or three

127

:

weeks at a time without drinking.

128

:

And actually really not only really

enjoying it, but realizing that I had

129

:

like, I guess kind of reverse anxiety,

like I was getting anxious for what

130

:

I was going to do before it actually

happened as opposed to what I did.

131

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah,

132

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Um, really.

133

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

I would be like, before I would

134

:

feel nervous about, an eye

out a hundred percent because

135

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

136

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

I'd probably take it too far.

137

:

I'd lose my bag, I'd

miss the last train home,

138

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Oh

139

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

that stuff.

140

:

And then I'd probably end

up in an argument because

141

:

I'd been irresponsible and

142

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: yeah.

143

:

It's like you get double hang, like

144

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah,

145

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

sandwich.

146

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: It

147

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

And I just thought, do you know what,

148

:

I think I realized in those sort of

stints of sobriety that I felt better

149

:

just from like two or three weeks

because I thought I can do this.

150

:

I feel better.

151

:

Um, because I don't think you, I

think when you drink all the time.

152

:

Or most of the time, like most days, you

don't realize what a big difference it.

153

:

I thought I just felt like that.

154

:

Like I thought, I just felt vaguely

anxious and sad and like I was

155

:

sort of not quite living my life.

156

:

Right.

157

:

I just thought that was just me.

158

:

I didn't realize if I took away

this thing that I thought was

159

:

like, I used to think that I loved.

160

:

Then just how much better I would feel.

161

:

so yeah, basically I,

I had one last sort of

162

:

week, Bender weekend, during which I find

myself sat on my friend's patio on the

163

:

literal floor, talking about how I wish

I could quit altogether, I just like sort

164

:

of drunkenly going on about how I, I would

love that to be me all the time, but , I

165

:

just obviously couldn't do it because

how would I not drink at this thing

166

:

that was coming up and how would I not

drink at that thing that was coming up?

167

:

And one of those things

coming up was my wedding.

168

:

and I woke up the Monday after that

barbecue, and I had downloaded,

169

:

the audio book of the Sober Girl

Society Handbook by Millie Guch.

170

:

And I was like, well, obviously

thought I needed to listen to that.

171

:

So, I listened to it that Monday at

work and that was my day one because.

172

:

I've realized through listening

to somebody my own age, sort of at

173

:

my own stage in life, that, yeah,

actually, do you know what this thing

174

:

you are doing that makes you feel

better temporarily can be permanent?

175

:

And yeah, some well, not somehow,

like I, I did it because I wanted

176

:

to, and I had to, but it's, it stuck

like, and I haven't drank since.

177

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: that's.

178

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

that, that's sort of how it happened.

179

:

Thank you.

180

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: It's so

181

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Um.

182

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: it's

so, it is true though because you,

183

:

because you hear so much positive

stuff about alcohol and especially

184

:

as a young woman, you are, seeing

all of this sort of glamorized stuff.

185

:

So you think

186

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

187

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

it's a good thing.

188

:

You're told it's a good thing.

189

:

It's a good thing.

190

:

It's a good thing.

191

:

It's fun.

192

:

You are fun, it's, you are more

193

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, totally.

194

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

are all this stuff.

195

:

And actually there's two

things with that for me.

196

:

One is you are perfectly fine.

197

:

As you are, and you don't need

to be altered by something to

198

:

make you fun, but we are made to

feel like that might be the case.

199

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

And maybe it's okay not to want

200

:

to talk to somebody you didn't

talk to in secondary school.

201

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

202

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Like

203

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

There was a reason you didn't

204

:

speak to them in secondary school.

205

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

right.

206

:

Instead of going up to them and acting

like, you were mates and in a beer

207

:

garden because you've had a skim full.

208

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Oh God.

209

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

But yeah, no, exactly.

210

:

And honestly, they say.

211

:

That adverts aren't supposed to sell

you anything other than the product.

212

:

But there's this bloody advert where

this guy's on a train and he drinks

213

:

this Spanish beer, even though I'm

pretty sure it's produced in the uk.

214

:

And like he literally goes

through a portal to Spain.

215

:

That's how great this beer is.

216

:

And I'm like, how is this

not selling us an experience?

217

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: not the

218

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

You know?

219

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

through, that's for sure.

220

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

No, no.

221

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Upside down through some portals and,

222

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Not to Spain.

223

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah.

224

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Mm.

225

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

226

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

And I just think this is not this,

227

:

like you, you are telling me that

I'm gonna have a better time,

228

:

and I believe that for so long.

229

:

But yeah, and I think that's the thing,

like when I listen to that book, it's

230

:

not just knowing that you can do it,

but when you listen to some facts about

231

:

alcohol, like there are things that

I just feel like I couldn't unhear.

232

:

Like I, I couldn't.

233

:

If you just learning what

it does to your brain.

234

:

Like for me, I don't

think I could go back.

235

:

Well, I know I'm not gonna go back,

but there's certain things where

236

:

you don't really think about it.

237

:

'cause, you know, you don't learn

about these things growing up.

238

:

but when you hear what is actually

happening, like physiologically

239

:

when you drink, it's terrifying.

240

:

And nobody tells you that.

241

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

no, nobody tells you that

242

:

because it's too scary, isn't it?

243

:

To confront

244

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

245

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

specifically as a, an

246

:

entire society to confront

247

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Mm,

248

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

is really hard.

249

:

There's something

250

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

exactly, exactly.

251

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

252

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

pushing an addictive substance to you.

253

:

This is, if you get addicted to this

addictive substance that's on you,

254

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: fault.

255

:

You are.

256

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

257

:

it's just a con and I think when you learn

a bit about it, or even when you just

258

:

question it, like I said, towards the end.

259

:

I couldn't imagine not drinking

until I stopped, but I was just

260

:

thinking what is so good about this?

261

:

why do I wanna keep doing this?

262

:

is this fun?

263

:

also I used to think, It is

such an unpredictable night out

264

:

But there's nothing more predictable

than going out and having the

265

:

same piss up night after night and

feeling like crap the next day.

266

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah,

267

:

, ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Yeah, there might be a different set of

268

:

issues that you come across this time,

269

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah,

270

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

but like it's very predictable.

271

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: cry about

272

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Um, no, exactly.

273

:

Exactly.

274

:

Um, but yeah, so essentially, I

thought, well, I've ruined the last few

275

:

weekends drinking, I can keep ruining

the ones coming up, including, so

276

:

when I quit at my, my wedding was in.

277

:

Three months, like I was three

months sober at my wedding.

278

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Wow.

279

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

But that was one of those things of

280

:

like, oh, maybe I'll do it after that.

281

:

'cause you can possibly

get married and not drink.

282

:

But honestly, I think I really

saved, well, I know, I know.

283

:

I saved that like my wedding and also kind

of COVID did because it was meant to be

284

:

in 2020 and we postponed it for a year.

285

:

in that time I'd gotten sober, so

286

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: That was

287

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: I.

288

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

to happen for you then,

289

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

290

:

I kind of have to thank the

pandemic a tiny bit for that.

291

:

that was sort of, I think as well, like

I decided the things I had coming up.

292

:

because we'd had lockdown, and the

restrictions had been lifted, we had quite

293

:

a lot of things that we were going to do.

294

:

And they'd been postponed till after

we were allowed to do them again.

295

:

So we had like a couple of gigs

coming up, like another friend's

296

:

wedding reception and oh God, we

went to reading festival for the day.

297

:

but that was what I was , I

think about four weeks in.

298

:

Probably wouldn't recommend that,

299

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Well

300

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

but um, yeah,

301

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Well.

302

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

and I feel like, I think, thank you.

303

:

I think I thought, well, these could

be reasons not to do it, or these could

304

:

be a set of challenges when I do them.

305

:

It's probably gonna feel like things I did

that early on, so now I can, it is a bit

306

:

of a risk, but for me, I knew I was done.

307

:

I wouldn't necessarily say if

you're not a hundred percent sure,

308

:

or if you are wobbling, I wouldn't

necessarily recommend going to red.

309

:

but I was like, I'm done.

310

:

I told people straight away,

311

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

I did as well.

312

:

I'm done.

313

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

314

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: and I

315

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

316

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

on an all-inclusive ski trip,

317

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, wow.

318

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

friends and their

319

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, that's even bigger.

320

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

It was ridiculous,

321

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: wild.

322

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: it

was really good because at that point

323

:

I was listening to Grace 90 day.

324

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Hmm mm.

325

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

alcohol experiment

326

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

327

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Porter on the go as well.

328

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, the best.

329

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: When

I was out, if we were having dinner,

330

:

I booked the particular hotel because

you got free wine, and it was on

331

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

332

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

like a bar thing

333

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, I've seen that.

334

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

then I got there and obviously it

335

:

wasn't going to partake in that,

but it was interesting watching.

336

:

Just how the night would go.

337

:

And I've got a friend and

he won't mind me saying it.

338

:

I mean, my God, he does repeat

himself when he is had a drink.

339

:

He literally sat next to me and told

me the same story like four times.

340

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh God.

341

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

and I was like, right.

342

:

And I said to my husbands,

I'm gonna go up to my room.

343

:

'cause actually it's a bit boring.

344

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

345

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

you're doing it too.

346

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Yeah, totally.

347

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

they were very drunk.

348

:

It wasn't like a normal

night out, but yeah,

349

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

And I think like, if you can help it,

350

:

if you can stand to be around it, that

actually really helps to begin with.

351

:

it was for me, like we did a

similar thing like me and my,

352

:

well then fiance had booked who

do a stagger hen weekend together.

353

:

And obviously we'd booked it and

then I'd turn around and go, surprise

354

:

guys, I'm not drinking anymore.

355

:

But plan the head around that.

356

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah,

357

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

But we still had, we still had those

358

:

things like booked or like at least

we'd all booked to go away to at the

359

:

same time and like have the same hotel.

360

:

And like, yeah.

361

:

I mean, again, like he'll forgive

me for saying, but like they, well

362

:

they had had a stab do essentially,

and then like when I saw them I

363

:

was like, my God, this is awful.

364

:

and like also quite worrying

that if, so my husband's like

365

:

one of those unicorns that can

literally have a couple of drinks.

366

:

And if anything, like he

runs ultra marathons now,

367

:

so he barely even does that.

368

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Mm-hmm.

369

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

so I feel like he was, not that he had

370

:

to, but like he was sort of keeping up

with me and getting in these kind of

371

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

372

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

states and I thought that's sort of

373

:

a knock on effect 'cause he's just

sort of happy to, to do whatever.

374

:

But I know now.

375

:

That all the times that I kept pushing

the envelope and saying, no, we'll

376

:

stay out for a few more or whatever.

377

:

Like, obviously he was like, well, it

makes my life probably probably thinking,

378

:

oh God, she's not gonna go home anyway.

379

:

I just as well.

380

:

but then yeah, I sort of seeing him

and think and thought, oh, right,

381

:

you know, you're, you're taking

people down with you essentially.

382

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

There's company in drinking and if you

383

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

384

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

that happened here as well.

385

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah,

386

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

a bottle of wine

387

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Exactly.

388

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: one.

389

:

Yeah, we don't, I don't have that anymore.

390

:

So actually it's interesting 'cause

earlier on today, I went into the kitchen

391

:

and the bottle was on the island and

it had one glass of wine out of it.

392

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh God.

393

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

I still can't

394

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: How?

395

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

understand that.

396

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

No, no.

397

:

I'm very lucky.

398

:

I think probably mainly because

of me, my husband's never really

399

:

drank wine and now he can't start

400

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

401

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

he doesn't like, he says the sound of

402

:

it being the first glass being poured,

he hates 'cause it reminds him of,

403

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

when you were

404

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

What it used to be like.

405

:

Sort of like the Yeah, well,

the start of the end I guess.

406

:

but yeah, I've never understood

407

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: No.

408

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

no, a bottle was a, a, a bottle

409

:

was getting drank in its full.

410

:

Yeah.

411

:

No, I didn't.

412

:

Never understood that.

413

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

no, me neither.

414

:

Who even does that?

415

:

I've got quite a few people in my

life that do that, and I just can't,

416

:

they can't understand how, I can't

understand, but, but I know you can

417

:

understand because that is something that

418

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

419

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Where we just go and

420

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: No.

421

:

Oh, no.

422

:

It's like, what the hell is the

point of a, of a like bottle stopper?

423

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: so

you stopped about four years ago.

424

:

is there anything that.

425

:

you would want to have had

shared with you before you stop.

426

:

If someone was gonna stop now, anything

that you, advice, I suppose, that you

427

:

might give them that helped you or

that you didn't get, that you think

428

:

might have helped you if you'd known?

429

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

So for me it's two.

430

:

I would say it's two things, which

the first one is, like I said,

431

:

tell, you know, tell someone, have

someone you tell, but also like

432

:

tell yourself if that makes sense.

433

:

I think the language you use

with yourself when you first quit

434

:

is so important because if you.

435

:

Set.

436

:

Like I, I see people say, oh, I

hope, like, I hope this time sticks.

437

:

a bit of tough love around

how you talk to yourself.

438

:

'cause if you say, oh, I really want,

I really want to quit drinking, or I

439

:

really hope, that I can quit drinking.

440

:

You need to say, I have quit drinking.

441

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: I don't

442

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

I don't, I don't drink

443

:

like you, like you say.

444

:

because if you leave that

door open even a tiny bit.

445

:

It's gonna find its way back in.

446

:

Like, you need to be you.

447

:

Yeah.

448

:

Tell yourself you've quit drinking

before you tell anyone else.

449

:

'cause if you don't, then you're leaving

yourself open for it to come back.

450

:

And then secondly like, be

so, so nice to yourself.

451

:

Like, my thing was, and this is

what was happening when I was having

452

:

like little stints of sobriety and

then going back out there into the.

453

:

make your sobriety, especially

early on, something that you would

454

:

miss if you go back to drinking.

455

:

Like, I think you just need to make

your little sobriety bubbles so cozy.

456

:

Like buy some candles with the

money you're saving 'cause you are

457

:

saving money and just really treat

yourself really nicely because

458

:

you're doing something really hard.

459

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yes.

460

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

And I think so.

461

:

Like for example, my first sober night

out, I knew it was gonna be tough

462

:

and I bought myself like the nicest

pair of pajamas for after the gig.

463

:

and I knew like even if I struggled,

even if I had cravings, I was like,

464

:

focused on when you've done this,

you've got like that to look forward to.

465

:

But yeah, I think you just need

to be so, so nice to yourself.

466

:

But also keep yourself accountable.

467

:

That's, that's what I would do.

468

:

Like make it a thing where you don't

wanna leave that to go back to, quite

469

:

frankly, the crappy world of alcohol.

470

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

that was great advice.

471

:

I love the sound of the sobriety bubble,

like making it so cozy and comfy and.

472

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

473

:

treat yourself.

474

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

important, like to make that your

475

:

space and that thing that you said

around, the way that we talk to

476

:

ourselves and the way that we verbalize

the fact that we are not drinking.

477

:

me it was like, be like super proud of it.

478

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

totally.

479

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: something

that you need to go, oh, you know,

480

:

like, I, I don't, like I don't drink.

481

:

You do.

482

:

So you say, no, I don't drink.

483

:

Thank you.

484

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: No,

and I love that now probably too much.

485

:

Like if somebody offers like free samples

at a, like a food fair or something.

486

:

I'm like, now I'm in recovery.

487

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Yeah, no, thank you.

488

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Exactly.

489

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

that you feel like that because

490

:

this is the thing, like it is a

really positive thing and when you

491

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: I.

492

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: when you

are in the mindset that you are in and

493

:

that I'm in, it's not something you miss.

494

:

It's not this sad consequence.

495

:

It's not like I've had to

give up this wonderful thing.

496

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

I think as well, it's not that you

497

:

don't get to do it again, it's that

you don't have to do that again.

498

:

Like, 'cause if you think of the all the.

499

:

Like all the worst moments

instead of looking back and

500

:

thinking, oh, that was good.

501

:

And like you're really only looking

at a snapshot when you think

502

:

like, what was good about it?

503

:

Maybe the first drink, but the

seventh was really enjoyable.

504

:

like the anticipation is , if anything,

the anticipation's probably the only

505

:

good part, but the, the actual reality

of getting drunk is not fun at all.

506

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: No.

507

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Like it's that.

508

:

Creeping dread of, oh God,

I've gotta get myself home.

509

:

Or like, I've gone too far again.

510

:

Or like, there's really, yeah,

there's not, there's nothing

511

:

if you really think about it,

512

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

513

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

I don't think there's as much to

514

:

miss as people think there might be.

515

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: The

truth is there isn't, but I think

516

:

that it's because of the constant.

517

:

This is a good thing.

518

:

This is a good thing.

519

:

This is a good

520

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

521

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

everywhere.

522

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

only is this good, this is inevitable,

523

:

this is like a part of your life as a

person in the west, this is what we do,

524

:

this is how we celebrate, this is how we

commiserate, this is how we feel boredom.

525

:

This is how we deal with stress.

526

:

Like yeah, it's, it's ridiculous.

527

:

And like we need to realize, and I think

what I really realized actually is that I

528

:

be like, it's okay not to be like.

529

:

Woo-hoo.

530

:

Like crazy.

531

:

Everything's like going on all the time.

532

:

what I've realized is I actually

just really like being content and

533

:

like the things that I love doing now

are actually like the things that I.

534

:

Used to think got in the way of

drinking, like sleep or like eating

535

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah.

536

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: or

actually it's like spending time with

537

:

people and actually listening to them

and not constantly thinking, oh, when

538

:

can I get another drink though, like the

bits that I used to think got in the way

539

:

are the best parts, especially sleep.

540

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

541

:

I often

542

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: So.

543

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: say

that to me, 'cause I was the same with

544

:

the, you know, sit, you'd be sitting

with a group of friends who would be, in

545

:

your view, drinking incredibly slowly.

546

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Mm.

547

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

like they were.

548

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

549

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

these thoughts about, oh, I wonder

550

:

when I can get another glass wine.

551

:

I'm not gonna make me look like

I'm some kind of lush and um.

552

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Or like, have they poured themself more

553

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Yeah, exactly.

554

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: oh,

555

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

That was a horrible thought.

556

:

My husband put more wine in his class.

557

:

I'd be furious.

558

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

oh, God.

559

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

But like all that stuff, and I think

560

:

imagine if you'd put you and me and

everyone else that's been on this

561

:

podcast all round the table, we'd

all just have been sat there going,

562

:

When do we get, much is she add?

563

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Yeah, right.

564

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

So funny because

565

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: God.

566

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

preoccupied and it's not because you're

567

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

568

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: just,

569

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

The need to drink is so loud, like it

570

:

takes up so much space and Oh, yeah.

571

:

And I mean, no wonder we end up

just, well, a lot of people end up

572

:

drinking alone because you've only got

yourself to worry about then, you know.

573

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah.

574

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Totally.

575

:

Like I used to think that I'd rather

drink on my own than socialize

576

:

with somebody and not drink.

577

:

And that is, I remember thinking that in

my early twenties and thinking, so it's

578

:

gonna have to be done about this one day.

579

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

you knew, didn't you?

580

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

So I feel like I always knew.

581

:

Well, I had two options basically,

and I'm never take for granted that

582

:

I took the right one and yeah, I

think, oh, it's just a new life.

583

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

a new life.

584

:

It is.

585

:

It's a whole different world, isn't it?

586

:

It's just a lovely, lovely way to be.

587

:

I had a tough week this week

588

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: oof.

589

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

It never crossed my mind to

590

:

have a glass like nothing.

591

:

It did literally didn't cross my mind.

592

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

593

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

I'm three and a half years, I'd say.

594

:

It probably wouldn't have crossed my mind

a year ago, maybe even a year before that.

595

:

You go from someone who, Has

alcohol, you know, just because the

596

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Mm-hmm.

597

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

just because

598

:

. Kind of go from someone who

just can't cope with like normal

599

:

everyday stuff without thinking,

oh, we should have glass fine with

600

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: yeah.

601

:

Of course,

602

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

big stuff and it,

603

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Because the more you do it, the

604

:

more you realize that you can do it,

605

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: yeah.

606

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: and.

607

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: The

608

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Like it opens so much.

609

:

Yeah, exactly.

610

:

And do you know what, I have to share

this because this is the big achievement.

611

:

I saw Oasis on Saturday night and I

thought like, this is gonna be the test.

612

:

Like this is gonna be

the one where I missed.

613

:

Because, you know, it's, it's that, it's

like that culture personified, isn't it?

614

:

Like cigarettes and alcohol, but, I

got to sort of partway through the

615

:

gig and I just thought, you know what?

616

:

I never had that.

617

:

I was waiting for this.

618

:

, Oh, I wish I could sort of

join in with that or whatever.

619

:

But it never came.

620

:

And , it's not to say, oh, I'll

never worry about it again.

621

:

Like obviously you're constantly

facing different things.

622

:

But like that, I will say that's

not my coping mechanism anymore.

623

:

Like, that's not

624

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

625

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

where my brain instantly goes.

626

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

of changed those pathways,

627

:

haven't you, for your brain

628

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: yeah.

629

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

takes practice and time, doesn't it?

630

:

and being really aware of just all

the good stuff that's come along.

631

:

You wouldn't choose it because

you know that, that you've chosen

632

:

to do has made you so happy.

633

:

Did I see that

634

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah,

635

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

a lot well?

636

:

You.

637

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: I do.

638

:

Yeah, I do.

639

:

I am a runner.

640

:

Yeah, I, yeah, I think I've got, like,

I've, I've kind of cracked it now, like

641

:

I've, I've ran for a couple of years and

thought, well, it's fine I guess, but

642

:

now I am that person that does marathons

and watches other people too marathons

643

:

on YouTube to see what they look like.

644

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

brilliant.

645

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

but yeah, I started when this

646

:

was another lockdown thing.

647

:

I was still drinking.

648

:

When I started.

649

:

you can't really commit to anything when

you're so fully committed to drinking.

650

:

so yeah, like it's only, obviously only

improved since I stopped, so, yeah.

651

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

What a turnaround.

652

:

Different life.

653

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: yeah.

654

:

I love it and it is nice

to have like something.

655

:

Yeah, and also, here's another good one,

like if you can't bear to part with the

656

:

music that you loved when you drank,

like you can kind of repurpose it for

657

:

sort of exercising and like there's some

stuff I could never listen to again,

658

:

but there's some stuff where I'm like,

oh, I used to go out and listen to

659

:

this, and now it's like a running tune.

660

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Yeah.

661

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

yeah, definitely.

662

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

time is up.

663

:

It just disappears, doesn't it?

664

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

That flu.

665

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: I

666

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: Yeah.

667

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: It was

so lovely of you to share your story

668

:

I can't tell you how big a congratulations

you're getting from me for four years.

669

:

That's phenomenal.

670

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: you.

671

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

what a story.

672

:

And congratulations just on all of it.

673

:

you are

674

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Thank you very much.

675

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

will be listening to this and

676

:

thinking, right, she did it.

677

:

And particularly you are younger than a

lot of the people that I've spoken to.

678

:

So, you know, you stopped at 30

679

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

I do kind of hope to be a

680

:

bit of a voice for that.

681

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

and it's great.

682

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

because why wait, I just thought I could

683

:

wait another 10 years and still have

to do this, or I could get on with it,

684

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: And

685

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: so,

686

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

in 10 years you don't, know

687

:

what could have happened.

688

:

Like something could have happened to you.

689

:

You could have been in

danger, like you could,

690

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Exactly.

691

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

So it's just amazing

692

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Exactly.

693

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: And

I've actually got a friend, she might be

694

:

listening to this, and she's around 30.

695

:

She sometimes says, oh, one day

Vic, 'cause she listens to my

696

:

podcast even though she's a drinker.

697

:

But she says One day, Vic,

698

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, that's good.

699

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

so she probably knows who she is.

700

:

I'm gonna leave this bit in,

say to her, you could do it now.

701

:

You know.

702

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Oh, totally hit me up.

703

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: Well,

704

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

No, I love that.

705

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316:

Thank you for your time.

706

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317: you.

707

:

Thank you for having me.

708

:

vic-host129_1_07-08-2025_180316: And,

we'll share it with all the listeners.

709

:

So, thanks so much and

have a lovely evening

710

:

ellen--she-her-_1_07-08-2025_180317:

Thank you.

711

:

Hi.

712

:

Thank you for listening.

713

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

714

:

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

715

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

716

:

Dot com.

717

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

718

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

719

:

And don't forget.

720

:

You can make your catch phrase.

721

:

I don't drink.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode
Show artwork for Sober, Alcohol Free Stories

About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

Profile picture for VICTORIA Banat

VICTORIA Banat