Episode 2

Vic and Richie, Sober Alcohol Free Stories, and stopping the pain of familiar mistakes

Published on: 10th January, 2025

Hi everybody, I'm Victoria and I don't drink. Welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. Today I'm talking to Richie. Richie turned to alcohol following trauma during his childhood and teens and a sporting injury that chaned the pathway his life was taking. Ritchie describes to us his toolkit, the growth of sober muscles and how he successfully navigated a pathway to sobriety and now uses those sober skills to help many others to do the same with his coaching company thestrongandsobermind.com

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everybody, I'm Victoria

and I don't drink.

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:

Welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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:

Today I'm talking to Ritchie.

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Ritchie turned to alcohol following

trauma during his childhood and teens.

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:

, Ritchie describes to us his toolkit,

the growth of sober muscles and how

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he successfully navigated a pathway to

sobriety and now uses those sober skills

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to help many others to do the same.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Hi, Richie.

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Lovely to have you on today.

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How are you?

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I'm very good.

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Thank you, Vic, for having me on the show.

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looking forward to having a chat to

you and, talking all things sober.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Well, that's the aim of the game.

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so welcome.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Thank

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

as always, just want to spend

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our half an hour today together,

talking about your story.

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so always start right at the beginning

by asking that question, you know, you've

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Somebody who doesn't drink, and there

is bound to be a story behind that.

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probably one that will inspire other

people who felt the way that you did when

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you made that decision, to potentially

do the same or become curious about it.

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so over to you.

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tell me your story, Richie.

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How did you become sre?

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Yeah, it's,

um, it's been a bit of a revelation for

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myself, because it was something that I

didn't really think I had a problem with.

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it wasn't something that I thought

that was, um, really affected

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me, until I started actually

really having a good look at it.

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growing up, I came from a sporting

background, from an early age I was

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playing football, to quite a high level.

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drinking and that kind of side of things

never really affected me as like a

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team going into through those years.

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But then I had a horrific injury,

which stopped me playing sports

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totally for a couple of years,

at least on during that time.

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I could go out with my friends and kind

of the regular things that people do,

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going to the pub, a couple of drinks,

going out for dinner, having a couple of

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drinks it became more Acceptable for me

to do that, not really thinking ahead or

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not really thinking about kind of your

life set out as you do as a teenager

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: and then

going into things like starting work,

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for example, more like a full time basis.

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And then it became the things of having

a couple of drinks on a Friday after the.

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Busy week in work with everybody else

or, you know, stopping off at the

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pub on the way home and just having a

couple of drinks on the way or even,

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having dinner with your partner and

having a glass of wine or comes a

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bottle of wine and, um, know, just

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

the weekends become going out.

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Where to go, what to do, of drinks,

a couple of drinks in the house

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beforehand,, going out and getting

really quite drunk on the weekend.

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And then that turns

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Oh, I

need a drink on the Monday then just

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to kind of take the edge off it.

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of the dog.

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I know people use that

phrase all the time.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

kind of like that thing.

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If you, you slip into a pattern,

into a habit, you become

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: hmm,

mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm

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hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

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mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

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mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: you

know, and it never really became

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apparent to me how much I was drinking.

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I mean, never really sat

down and said, right, okay.

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You know, I often remember

making the joke with my partner

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when we're cooking, you know,

cooking a nice meal and it says in

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the recipe, use a glass of a, , of

leftover wine, like there was never,

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ever leftover wine in the house.

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You know, it was great.

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All of these things that.

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Yeah, you just think about it and

you just think what they talk about.

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So you open wine use a glass in the

thing and then kind of like finish

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the bottle, you know, so it's kind

of that you, you kind of fall into

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without being any kind of full thought

to how that affects your health, your

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mental wellbeing, just your general

kind of getting out and doing things.

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And it comes to a point where my partner

wanted to give up drinking and she knew

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that she was not performing and not,

of doing things that she wanted to do.

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And we never seemed to have

time to do those kind of things.

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So, Some of the times that we wanted

to spend together doing more protective

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stuff and being more protective in work

and things like that, that was like

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quite a reason to be able to do that.

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And I really appreciated the fact

that she was actually looking

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inward and what she wanted to do.

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We kind of like decided

to do that together.

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And I said, like, I'll

give a bank card with you.

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I'm quite happy to support . And

I hadn't really thought about it.

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And, it came to a point when I was going

out still, and I had an evening where I

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felt really groggy, felt really bad, had

a couple of drinks, been out with work.

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I hadn't really been, a bad

night, been quite a good night,

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but I was feeling terrible.

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I thought to myself, right, you know,

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gotta go home, sleep this off,

get up in the morning, and have

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a real good think about things.

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I didn't have a drink after that.

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It got to a point, when I was

looking back, even if I'd had

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a pint or two, I felt terrible.

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I felt really ill.

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I felt really bad, real bad headaches,

hangovers, really kind of hadn't

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addressed that until I actually sat

down and seriously thought about it.

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And I hadn't really thought about it

because I wasn't in that position that

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I thought maybe something was wrong.

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When I was growing up, I had

a lot of trauma, going through

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my childhood and into my teens.

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really kind of addressed that.

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I never kind of really

addressed why I was drinking.

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I never kind of really Going out and

why I had to have a couple of drinks

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just to relax and enjoy myself.

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of started thinking about

that on a serious level.

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this year recently,

I've got into coaching.

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and all the things that I

wanted to do is look at.

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People's growth mindset, sobriety.

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so last September, 2024, I,

decided to give up alcohol.

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the night out that I'd had and the

Sunday morning, waking up, feeling rough.

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that was it.

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I put no stop to it.

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And basically.

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I had to kind of try and find

what am I going to do about it,

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personally, because it's a big step.

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people don't realize sometimes

that, how much of a step it is.

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I guess I've been In inverted commas,

lucky in some respects because, I had

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an experience when I thought to myself,

right, that's it, that I've had enough of

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this, I've had enough of this sickness,

feeling bad, not being productive,

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not feeling like I'm pushing myself.

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And there's a good opportunity to start

to do that because I was going into

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the coaching and luckily the coaching

and my sobriety kind of went hand in

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hand pushing myself, also learning

doing the study in, and it gave me

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a lot of time to think about things.

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And also gave me a lot of time

where I was occupied taking my

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diploma and going through and

getting the qualification itself.

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And that carried me for

six months, um, through.

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So it was quite lucky in that respect.

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but also he taught me a lot

about alcohol and this is like

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where I am at the moment now.

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So moving to.

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Being a middle lane drinker that kind

of got to the point where I had to

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say, it's either going to be this the

time and feeling bad and feeling rough

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not and not presenting myself and not

pushing myself to be sober, give it

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all up and being able to maybe help

somebody else as well within that

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: mm hmm,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: of, where

I've been, what I've done, how I know it

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affects me be able to talk to somebody

on how it affects them making them

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understand the reasons behind that.

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what

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: and what,

makes people drink, I suppose, , together

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with obviously the knowledge about

alcohol and what it actually is.

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it's pretty horrific, , you know, it's one

of the worst legal drugs that there is.

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but it's something that we need to

make sure that people understand

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with the journey that people have.

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So I cut

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: now

to being, 430 something days.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Wow.

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Look at that.

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Congratulations.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: a friend

of mine actually said on the weekend,

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how long have you been sober now?

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And, I'm one of these people

that everyone has a day one.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

as many day ones as you want,

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but the actual thing is never stop trying.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm-hmm

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

to do that, you should never

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really stop trying to do that.

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But I couldn't remember.

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really couldn't remember.

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And I was thinking, well I know

it's definitely over a year.

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I know it's like 13, 14 months.

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I couldn't, I couldn't work it out.

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Or I'd stopped actually thinking about it.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: people,

say, are you still not drinking or

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are you still this or, have you had

a drink yet, can I get you a drink,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Just this assumption, isn't it,

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that you're gonna wanna do it again?

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It's funny how people can't begin

to imagine, and I'm not judging

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them because I was exactly the same.

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can't begin to imagine that

actually you enjoy your life more.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Oh,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

When you have stopped drinking.

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You

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Yeah,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: you?

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And it's funny.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I think

the one thing that we, is, the actual

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sober side of yourself never actually

realizes how much time you have.

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That's the most important thing

because a lot of the triggers that

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people have is 'cause they have time.

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You know, even after that,

you know, the hungry,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Oh yeah, the HALT thing.

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Yeah.

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What is it?

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Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

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Is that it?

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HALT.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: So,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: you have

these triggers that come up and,

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time is one of them if you're bored,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: it comes

to a point, I was lucky in the respect

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that I never really drank on my own at

home, but I understand why people do.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I

think that is something that

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frightens a lot of people.

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as long as you can make yourself

aware of the triggers that you have,

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basically write down your triggers.

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Every time that you feel

that you should have a drink.

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What is actually triggering that?

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So part of the exercise that

they do is, time you have a

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trigger, you write it down.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

a list of triggers there, and

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if you're thinking about that,

what can you do to combat that?

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What can you do instead?

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Go out for a

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: get into

nature, take the dog out, because the

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

It's a proper interception, isn't it?

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Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: for myself,

it's the mindset, getting people

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into being able to kind of recognize

where they are, they're doing at that

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time, what that trigger is, how it

affects them, how it makes them feel,

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what can you do to combat it, and

let's go forward and do that instead.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: say to people,

you know, that first initial thought in

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your mind is just a thought, an action.

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It's just a thought in your mind.

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And I used to stop,

count to 10, think again.

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if you take 10 seconds to not think

about that, or productively think

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about what you can do instead.

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That craving will kind of go, if the

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: is narrowed

down and it starts to stop, you're better

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on your journey then going forward.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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Well, you build, you build

sober muscles, don't you?

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Because you exercise that

restraint and the pause.

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I've got a lot of friends who

don't drink, who meditate.

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And the reason they meditate is

for what you've just said, because

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it teaches you in meditation,

not for sobriety, for everything.

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to just take a minute just to take a

breath and pause on something so you

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have time to act and react in a different

way to perhaps what your instinct was

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before and that's what this is about

when you when you're trying isn't it

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to stop drinking alcohol It's about

changing those pathways that you're

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used to taking and just stopping at

the junction and thinking, no, I'm not,

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that's not what I'm going to do today.

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I'm going to do something else.

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like you rightly said, I'm

going to go for a walk.

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I'm going to have a bubble bath.

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I'm going to get my pajamas on.

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Halt is great.

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I really like that because a lot of

the time for me, that was relevant.

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So the hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

just address that thing and find

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another solution to it because there is.

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Alcohol is a solution in the moment,

but there are other solutions.

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And the problem with alcohol is

that it then has a consequence.

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So it's almost like you're fixing

something with something that's going

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to give you a consequence as well.

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Like, why would you want to do that?

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Bubble baths don't have a consequence.

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Pajamas don't have a consequence.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

It's a good point that you made

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then, because you know, a lot of

people, think about the action,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

and they don't think about the

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actual consequence, and that's,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: do

you use the phrase, if you jumped

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over the wall without knowing what

was on the other side, would you,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: you know,

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: that

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Of course you wouldn't.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

of course you wouldn't, crazy.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Although

there's always a little bit of me, I

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think there is a minx part of me, which

might have been my drinking, that kind

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of thinks, oh, I wonder what, I wonder

what, what would happen if I did.

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You have to actually stop yourself

doing that kind of thing though.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: it's one of

these things that I think we look at like

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change, my father, sadly passed away quite

some time ago now, but I always think

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about him all the time some of the things

he used to say to me growing up, Where

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he would put little nuggets of wisdom in

your head, knowing that later on you would

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realize exactly what he was talking about.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: not

necessarily at that time, he would

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: that you

would think about it, growing up and

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how it would affect you in later life.

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He used to say to me,

imagine the garden path.

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It's got hedgerows either side, narrow.

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And

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: down

that path, you come to the rake

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that's lying on the floor to go

past it, you have to step on it.

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And every

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: yeah,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

on it, that rake comes up and

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smacks you hard in the face.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: yeah,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: He

said, imagine what that pain

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feels like when you get that.

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And he said, how many times do you need

to walk down that path before you realize?

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That by picking the rake up

moving it out of the way, it's not

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: yeah,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

going to smack you in the face.

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So how many

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: yeah,

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: you

need to do something before you

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realize the change is needed for

you to move on without any pain?

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: yeah.

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Oh, it's a brilliant analogy, isn't it?

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: love it.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: And

I think, lots of the answer to that

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is different for everybody, isn't it?

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Because some people really do need to

get whacked in the face a good few times

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before they're going to make a decision

that it's not what they want anymore.

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And for some people, it will just be once.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Yeah.

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: It's

just, it depends on what is it for you?

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That's a really good question

for people to ask themselves.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I

think this is what happened to me.

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You know, eventually

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Right.

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richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: is

that thing of like, I had that one,

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chance that, I got to the point where

everybody's journey is different, and

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will come to a point in the crossroads.

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We talked about crossroads earlier

when you come to the point and the

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crossroads already have to make a real.

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decision.

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And if

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vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

337

:

Mm-hmm

338

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: by alcohol,

or even if it is really clouded by

339

:

alcohol, that decision, once you make

your mind up, you will do anything that

340

:

you can to go forward on the right path.

341

:

That's really important.

342

:

But it's realizing that people

343

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

344

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

to handle that.

345

:

They need to hand up that step,

you know, to make that decision.

346

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Yeah, they do.

347

:

And I think people also need

to know that other people have

348

:

done it and it's gonna be okay.

349

:

it was interesting when you were saying

that you grew up with some trauma

350

:

and you, you were drinking, but you

didn't really feel that you were.

351

:

Drinking enough that

warranted, you know, an issue.

352

:

What's so fascinating about that is

related to what you said about it being

353

:

a drug and, and how we in the UK, see

this as something that everybody does.

354

:

it normalizes it so much for us.

355

:

It's very difficult for you to

sit there while you're drinking

356

:

your wine, perhaps because of

some trauma that you're trying to.

357

:

But everybody else is sitting

around you doing the same thing.

358

:

It's hard for you to think

this isn't good for me.

359

:

And you end up almost sort of hiding

behind, but it's normal and you don't

360

:

mean to because you believe it's

the story we're all told this is so

361

:

normal, but if you'd done that with

heroin, someone would have said to you.

362

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Yeah.

363

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

Hold on a minute.

364

:

, you're using that because of this

trauma and you need help and we'll

365

:

support you and help you to stop.

366

:

But it's like, you have to battle through

this extra layer of everyone telling

367

:

you it's normal before you reach a point

where you go, well, even if it's normal.

368

:

It isn't doing me any good and

I don't want to do it anymore.

369

:

It's like this additional layer that we

have to have just because society has said

370

:

alcohol is this wonderful thing, isn't it?

371

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I think

the point that you made there is,

372

:

definitely one of the things with,

mental health and trauma, a lot

373

:

of people use alcohol as a mask.

374

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

375

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: that, will

give them the confidence, short term

376

:

to go out and do something that they

wouldn't normally do, whether that's

377

:

an anxiety based of neurological,

378

:

mask of able to take that first step into

being a social environment, for example,

379

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

380

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: especially

with, Christmas just past the social

381

:

anxiety of going to work parties, the

social anxiety of being with your family,

382

:

whether you love them or not, that

within yourself, that social anxiety

383

:

itself can be crippling for people often

the cases they would find if I have a

384

:

drink, I feel better I drink, I'll be

more relaxed if I have a drink that, you

385

:

know, but they don't see behind, , That

mask enough to deal with the trauma first

386

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

387

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

unless you deal with that, it

388

:

will always be there for you.

389

:

I've taken a lot of steps over

the last couple of months to deal

390

:

with my trauma as well I realize

391

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

392

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

without the alcohol.

393

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

394

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: How

much the trauma still affected me,

395

:

even being a grown up, you know,

396

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

397

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: into the

adult world now, as opposed to being

398

:

a teen, how much really affected me

through my life scratching the surface

399

:

of sobriety is basically being able

to let me look through that window.

400

:

And I realized that how much

drinking for me was a mask or a

401

:

crutch, to actually kind of rely on

rather than dealing with the actual

402

:

trauma that was there at the time.

403

:

So being able to take that back to

its very basic roots and deal with

404

:

has now let me free from that as well.

405

:

You know, so it's kind of moved

406

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

407

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I

think that one thing at a time.

408

:

With sobriety, if people deal

with sobriety they realize how

409

:

much more they can do, you get

a lot more time to do things.

410

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

411

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: we, we

often treat lot of, clients with

412

:

the, you know, give yourself enough.

413

:

Things to do, everything from

like doing something like that.

414

:

They wouldn't feel that they would

normally do maybe something like

415

:

volunteering to do something or a craft

or a skill painting art be creative.

416

:

Get out there, you know, get out there,

walk in the dark, get out there into

417

:

nature, go swimming, do wild water

swimming, , something totally different

418

:

that they wouldn't normally want to do.

419

:

it's amazing how many people that we

speak to then they're like, can't believe

420

:

I went to like dawn swimming in the sea,

you know, and it was absolutely amazing.

421

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

422

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: back with

these fantastic success stories that

423

:

they have from giving up alcohol.

424

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

425

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: It's

something that we need to look at.

426

:

It's something that, we

need to explore more.

427

:

unfortunately, we're in a

position where, alcohol is quite

428

:

a prevalent thing, as a drug.

429

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: It is.

430

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: and it's,

pushed on TV . Normalized, in the

431

:

press, in adverts television programs

and things like that, which is often

432

:

difficult for people if they're

trying to give up alcohol, but if

433

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

434

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: all the time.

435

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Oh,

It's for every occasion, isn't it?

436

:

I could have been at a wedding.

437

:

a funeral.

438

:

I could have been just haven't

picked the kids up from school.

439

:

I could have dropped

the kids off at school.

440

:

I could have all of

those different things.

441

:

And somebody would say to me,

Oh, time for a glass of wine.

442

:

Somebody would say it to me at some point.

443

:

I can't tell you how many

times at work I join a call.

444

:

Okay.

445

:

And somebody will mention I'm

dying for a glass of wine tonight.

446

:

So it's so normal.

447

:

And I'm not judging people for doing

that because it is so normal to do it.

448

:

But if you were someone who is

trying to stop, you have to be

449

:

able to hear those messages and

realize that for you, they're not.

450

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: yeah,

451

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

They're not applicable.

452

:

And play your own tape forward.

453

:

If I have a glass of wine at five

o'clock, when I finished work, I'm not

454

:

just going to have one glass of wine.

455

:

Am I?

456

:

That's the truth.

457

:

And then what am I going to feel

like by the end of the night?

458

:

What am I going to have achieved?

459

:

It makes your world really small and all

those lovely things that you've mentioned,

460

:

the sea swimming, the walking, the getting

out running, all of it, the crafts,

461

:

whatever it is that floats your boat.

462

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: yeah,

463

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Those

things don't get enough space in your

464

:

life if you're drinking, because you're

spending the hours drinking, recovering

465

:

from drinking, or thinking about drinking.

466

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

You're not present,

467

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: No.

468

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: of the,

the things that we kind of look at as

469

:

well is how present you are for people,

470

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

471

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: your kids,

472

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah,

473

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

know, your friends as well.

474

:

Really, because alcohol drives the wedge

between all sorts of relationships.

475

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: it does.

476

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: of these

things that, like I said, until we

477

:

start normalizing the point that.

478

:

If you say that you don't drink in

such an environment that's by alcohol,

479

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

480

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

you know, something special.

481

:

If you can say, and

everybody will tend to you.

482

:

People will tend

483

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

484

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: I had

an allergy where a friend of mine

485

:

said to me, when I first started, I

was into my second month, I think.

486

:

And he said, are you still not drinking?

487

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

488

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

I'm still not drinking.

489

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

490

:

Mm hmm.

491

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

just to reframe it.

492

:

He said, okay.

493

:

I said, if I told you I

was going to do a marathon,

494

:

how would you feel about that?

495

:

And he said, well, I'd be quite surprised.

496

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

497

:

Mm hmm.

498

:

Mm hmm.

499

:

Mm hmm.

500

:

Mm hmm.

501

:

Mm

502

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: And

he said, yeah, of course I would.

503

:

but, you'd understand that I'd have

to give up some things, some time

504

:

and, maybe not go to some events

because I'd be training, right?

505

:

yeah, I get that.

506

:

And I said, and when the time

came, you'd be at the sidelines

507

:

for me, cheering me on.

508

:

yeah, absolutely.

509

:

I'd support you all the way.

510

:

I said, so if you support me

doing a marathon, why can't

511

:

you support me doing sobriety?

512

:

And he was like, actually,

yeah, I do get it.

513

:

I really understand where you are now.

514

:

is something you wanted to do,

515

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: hmm.

516

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: to it,

and now you're actually doing it.

517

:

So I will support you.

518

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

519

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: that kind of

520

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Ah.

521

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: is being,

that visualization for some people means a

522

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

523

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Because

524

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah.

525

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: them

exactly where you are exactly

526

:

what, you know, you want to do.

527

:

I know people in our community

groups that we've got at the moment

528

:

have come back to doing things like

ultra running and things like that,

529

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

530

:

Mm hmm.

531

:

Mm hmm.

532

:

Mm

533

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: you know,

being very successful is taking that step.

534

:

But I think the most important thing to

remember from talking today is everybody's

535

:

journey is different, but everybody's

journey has a start point to it.

536

:

Already you have your start,

your middle and your ending.

537

:

It doesn't matter you start from,

538

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: hmm.

539

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940:

your middle and your ending.

540

:

You know, you are halfway through

or you're on your ending already.

541

:

You can always start again, take the

first day doesn't matter how many

542

:

days it takes for the first day,

543

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

544

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: if

you really want to do this, if you

545

:

feel the benefit that you need to

do that, it will start for people.

546

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: It's

such good advice and a really, kind

547

:

thing to say, because people do struggle

and wonder, there's often the question,

548

:

am I as bad as, am I worse than, and I

think people can feel quite hopeless.

549

:

Spoken to lots of people who feel very

hopeless about how huge the mountain

550

:

seems, for all the reasons we've talked

about, you know, this whole , it's

551

:

just what everybody does in society,

but also, there's different levels

552

:

of addiction that people may have

got to, but you're absolutely right.

553

:

You just start where you

are and change the ending.

554

:

that's what you do.

555

:

and you do that in whatever way you

can, whether that's AA, whether it's

556

:

joining something, I'm in a group called

Soberistas, which is wonderful, Lots

557

:

of Facebook groups that I'm part of.

558

:

Sober coaching is a great route.

559

:

So.

560

:

I wanted to give you an opportunity

to say a bit about your sober

561

:

coaching , because there could be

somebody out there who feels that they

562

:

could benefit from talking to you.

563

:

They like the sound of you and think maybe

you could help them with their journey.

564

:

So could you tell us a little bit

about what you might offer someone?

565

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: that's great.

566

:

Thank you very much for giving

me the opportunity for that.

567

:

I'm a sober mind coach.

568

:

so basically we help people

who are sober, curious, have

569

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

570

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: on sobriety

and need, Bit of help with that next step.

571

:

we are at the strong and sober mind.

572

:

the strong, the word and sober mind.

573

:

com.

574

:

And contact for our email address.

575

:

The strong and sober mind.

576

:

we do a lot of other

things apart from sobriety.

577

:

we do growth coaching, executive

coaching, and also sporting

578

:

resilience as well, which includes,

579

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Mm hmm.

580

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: people

moving from sports into sobriety because

581

:

we know that sometimes it's really

difficult when you give up sports that,

582

:

you fall into that kind of thing as well.

583

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: Yeah,

584

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: of work

with, a lot of charities as well.

585

:

We work with mind and, local

suicide prevention charity as well.

586

:

So, yeah, anybody wants to get in touch

with us, all our details on there.

587

:

We have a contact form.

588

:

obviously when the podcast

goes out, I'm happy to put our

589

:

details in the comments as well.

590

:

it's a fantastic opportunity

to speak to you today.

591

:

Thank you.

592

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937: it's been

really lovely speaking to you, Richie.

593

:

Thank you so much for telling us your

story it sounds like you really went

594

:

through the mill as a young man having

your life changed around with your

595

:

sport and injury and it's wonderful.

596

:

That you came to the realization,

supported your partner.

597

:

and now here you are just supporting

God knows how many people through

598

:

the work that you do and from

sharing your story on the podcast.

599

:

congratulations on everything

you've told me about today.

600

:

and thank you so much for

coming on and talking to us

601

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: welcome.

602

:

Thank you very much.

603

:

There is a positive outcome for everybody.

604

:

vic-host563_1_12-10-2024_100937:

There is, there is.

605

:

You just got to give it a go.

606

:

Jump in.

607

:

Thanks, Richie.

608

:

Bye.

609

:

richie_1_12-10-2024_100940: Bye.

610

:

Thank you for listening.

611

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

612

:

If this episode helped you, please.

613

:

Please like share and follow.

614

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

615

:

Dot com.

616

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

617

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

618

:

And don't forget.

619

:

You can make your catch phrase.

620

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

Profile picture for VICTORIA Banat

VICTORIA Banat