Vic and Jo Aug 2025

Speaker: 00:00:00

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

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Today I talk to Joe.

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Joe has been sober for over 25 years.

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In this episode, she teaches

us how becoming sober, healed

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her heart, mind, and soul.

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Joe is my oldest guest and unfortunately

had to leave recording early because

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a visitor arrived at her door.

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I have to say I was envious

of her friend arriving.

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I could have sat and talked

with Joe all day long.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: Hi,

I'm, I'm Joe, an alcoholic, and, uh,

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I celebrated 25 years anniversary of

joining a this year in my 80th year.

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And, it took me a while to find

a, I must say, and, my life has

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changed completely since I found it.

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I'm much happier

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

Well, congratulations.

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you just say 25 years?

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: yes.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

That's phenomenal.

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Wow.

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You are the longest standing sober

person that I have had on the podcast.

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So welcome and congratulations.

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Jo, I'm very happy to have you here today

'cause you are relative to one of my very

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favorite people in the whole world, Sarah.

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So, it's wonderful to have you on

and I'm sure you have got a lot

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of experience that you can share.

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So I am looking forward to hearing.

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It today.

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Can you start at the beginning for me?

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Can you start at when you decided

enough was enough and that was it?

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What was going on?

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

Okay, I'll do that.

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Vic.

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Um, I,

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Yeah.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I didn't drink when I was in my.

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Early twenties, I might have had

an odd bottle of beer or something

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like that, but not really.

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I had the fear of drink and

I thought, this is terrible.

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And I was afraid something

often was going to happen.

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I can remember we were very much

Catholic, afraid of God and all that

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carry on what was going happen to us.

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And I remember at one stage I was probably

nine or 10, I used to have to remember

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about 30 things I'd have to ask God.

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Not to let happen before

I could go to sleep.

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I was so tired.

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It was, it was pretty awful.

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You know, it was a state of fear, you

know, but, certainly, my experience

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of being reared as a Catholic and

fear of hell and fear of just about

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everything, we weren't even sure what

we should be afraid of some of the time,

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but just be afraid of it anyway, you.

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Girls going bad.

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There was never any talk about fellas

going bad, but girls going bad.

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I learned was, you know, girls who were

drinking and who got pregnant and all

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sorts of things like that, you know,

and the church and the state here had

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a very rough and very incompassionate

compassionate way of dealing with

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these girls, and so did their families.

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In a lot of cases,

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

handed them over to institutions.

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That took advantage of them.

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And, and in some cases, I, . You

know, it was a, it actually was a

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terrifying place in lots of ways.

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But I have to say that looking

back that I was probably a carefree

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enough child during the daytime.

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I just had this.

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Long, long, long.

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Please don't let this happen.

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Please don't let that happen

to go through every night.

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So anyway, I, I went, I left the

village, I'm from here in Mayo and

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went to work in Dublin and, got

involved in the trade union movement

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there and really enjoyed that.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: night

after our meetings, the men would all go

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to the hub and I'd go home with the boss.

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And, they said to me, why don't

you come, you know, after a

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year or so, why don't you come?

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And I thought, oh my goodness.

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This was in the sixties,

the early sixties.

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And I thought, yeah, why don't I go to the

pub and be one of the la No, when I had

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the drink, I had a lot more confidence.

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Expressing whatever bullshit I wanted to

express, you know, which I would've been

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too timid to do with all these men who

knew everything, you know, and so, or so.

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So I thought.

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So anyway, I think there was a lot of

talk at the time about women's liberation

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and I, mistakenly took being able to go

into the pub and have a few drinks as

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the start of my freedom and liberation.

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And I didn't know, and I have to

join a many years later to find out

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that actually it was the start of my

imprisonment, you know, imprison with

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alcohol and, losing my free will.

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But there were many years when I was

able to enjoy a drink and able to

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mind my business and mind my work.

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Maybe not to the fullest

potential, but I did that.

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I enjoyed a good career

and I traveled quite a bit.

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I worked in Amsterdam for quite a

while and that was quite a revelation,

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because the sixties had bypassed Dublin

to a large extent, except for, you

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know, those wonderful British designers

at the time whose clothes we all

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love to wear, you know, and make up.

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We love to copy.

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Anyway, uh, I worked in Amsterdam and

came back to Ireland and, uh, and I,

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I worked, I worked in several places.

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I worked in the middle of Germany

in, and I worked there, uh,

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for six years in the eighties.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

What were you doing out there?

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: I

worked for the European Space Agency.

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I was working on new

spacecraft technology.

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and I enjoyed it.

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And, um, I, I was under a lot of pressure.

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I had a job that was a bit senior for

a woman as it was considered, and I was

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reporting to a French guy at the time.

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and he actually wanted to get rid of me.

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he didn't want to work with a woman.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Wow.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

And, and he succeeded in doing that.

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And that really tore me apart because

I had always been very much for women's

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liberation and women's rights, and

women, I was good men and everything.

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So anyway, that happened, and that

was a pretty black time for me.

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But I, but I, I was, I was due to

go back, I, I hadn't lost my job.

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I was going back to Dublin

anyway, to the job, but anyway.

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Some other guy there asked me to

work for him instead, and I did.

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And and that worked out all right.

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But I got an offer of a job in

Ireland in the Western Ireland, and

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it sounded like a really good job.

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So I went back at that stage and the

start of the nineties and because

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at that stage I was coming up to 15.

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And, I was involved in politics and

trade, junior movement in Dublin before I

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left, but in Germany I had such a liberty

away from all of that sort of stuff.

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And, the drinking took off in a big way.

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there was a sort of cosmopolitan

working there, you know.

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Habit.

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But I would say it really became

seriously bad when I moved back

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to Ireland because I moved to a

town where I didn't know anybody.

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And when you're coming up to your fifties,

some of the guys I was working with

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were just starting their families and

they were, having a different lifestyle.

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And I found that my easiest

way in to me at the time.

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Seemed to me, meeting people

in the pubs and all of that,

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and, and that was a pretty,

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I can say, fond or miserable.

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And it was both.

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It was both, and it's

gradually too cold of me.

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I couldn't manage, I couldn't

manage without, uh, without drink.

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I couldn't manage for a day without drink.

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I found myself in terrible trouble with.

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And I would say to myself every night,

I'm not going to drink tomorrow.

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And invariably I did and in the

end, I wasn't really going out.

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I was drinking at home.

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I had a few very bad moments of being

caught out in the morning with, you

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know, bottle of gin by my side of the

bed and that kind of thing, you know, and

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

that it, it sounds terrible.

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And it was terrible.

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And there was.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Yeah.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

There was a little bit of, um,

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there was a little bit inside

me, a little bit of, if you like.

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I think now it's my version

of the higher power inside me.

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I find my power in my heart and the

higher power still there needed to be

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resuscitated, but it was saying, you

know, there's more to life than this.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I was living on my old and

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I had various relationships.

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if they lasted longer than four

nights, it lasted two years then

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anyway that it, no room really, you

know, alcohol was my lover, and alcohol

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was what I wanted, and the behavior

was pretty horrendous, you know?

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So by the time I was coming up to

finishing drinking, I was in trouble.

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I was in trouble in my health.

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I was in trouble in my heart.

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I was in trouble in my

soul and in my head.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: and

I used to think, well, not very often,

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but I used to think to myself, you

know, I was in trouble financially.

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I was early, good body, but

I was in trouble financially.

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Not so much what I spent on

drink or what I spent on people

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that I wanted to love me.

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And people that, and, you know,

trying to make life seem better at

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spending money, you know, ridiculously.

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So, I was in trouble with my

house and, and I, I, I remember

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saying, could this be drink?

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And I would say to myself,

don't be ridiculous.

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Drink.

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What's, you need drink.

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You're working hard.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

Anyway, there was a night I

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was leaving at this stage.

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I was working for Dell, the computer

manufacturers in Limerick, and I

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was leaving Dell one night, and

it was my birthday 25 years ago.

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I was 55, and some colleagues had asked me

to join them for a drink for my birthday.

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And despite the fact that I had

to drive on a dangerous road from

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liberty to others to get home.

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I went for the drink with them, but on the

way across the car park, a pretty sorted

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car park and it was raining that night.

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I just start thought, you know, this

can't go on, this drinking can't go on.

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I dunno what it was like, it wasn't a

spiritual awakening thing, but it was like

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maybe somebody, oh God before me, maybe

one of my parents or something there.

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Anyway, I just thought,

God, I can't go on.

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And I rang a friend of mine who used

to be a drug drinking buddy and he had

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joined a so I rang him and I was crying

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

know, I, uh, I can't go on with this.

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I'm just drinking too much

and I isn't worth living.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

he said, you know, you're not the

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only one in that position, Joe.

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The only one, and what I would advise

you to do is he gave me good advice.

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He told me to go to the local

rehab place and just have a check

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to see was I really an alcoholic?

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And he told me

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the next night, probably where,

so that was, that was it.

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And I, I just, it was like

an intervention really.

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Somewhere in my drink fogged mind,

but it made me make that phone call.

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So, I had my drinks and I drove home,

and the next night I went to, and I

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probably got drunk night, but I, I

went to a meeting and I full of myself.

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: What

do you mean you were full of shit?

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: Well,

I was the who I am, you know, I mean,

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I was going in and I looked at some

of these people and I thought, oh

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my goodness, what can they tell me?

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You know, who can they help?

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My life is totally different

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Yeah.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: and

I, and I, I sort of have listened

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and people were very nice and kind.

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They would listen to

me, whatever bullshit.

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I was talking to them, they would

listen to me and I thought, wow,

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you know, uh, they're very, they're

very kind here, you know, and you

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know what happened the next day.

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I didn't drink.

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I couldn't get 'em, this crowd

of losers, I went to join them

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and I didn't drink for a day.

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And I'll never forget the thrill.

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It was just.

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Get through whole day, and I got through

the next day and I went to a meeting

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the next night, and I got through.

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I gradually began to learn how to

listen instead of waiting for my turn

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to sp all my problems and concerns

and this, that, and the other.

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I learned to listen to actually listen.

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The, the, Dell asked me to go and work

in London for a while, so a hotel in

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London and I was there and I was a bit

anxious about that, and I opened the

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bedside drawer and there was bottle from

a wedding, you know, bottle with those

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giving me bottles, vodka something.

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So, of course, you know, I can't say it.

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I just, what happened was I rang

reception and give out, give out the

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proposals and they came and yeah, and,

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

took it away.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: yeah.

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Took it over when, you know, that was

part of me trying to impress, I think,

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I'm not sure because I had fallen on that

a few months previously, so I was kept

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with London and, uh, my brother who lived

in Yorkshire at the time, he said bridge.

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I would talk to him quite a bit

and he helped me find meetings and

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I found some very good meetings in

London and I got into the rough and

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tumble there my sponsor was a Scottish

girl and she was a great help to me.

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She got me through the steps and,

um, she was married to a, an army

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guy and they lived in an army

and I used to drive over there.

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. You know, it just was amazing and she

was wonderful and she took no mercy.

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It took me quite a while

to get through the steps,

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: I've

done them so often since, you know,

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and the best gift I got initially in a.

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The fact I didn't was to be able to listen

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and not my head full of waiting

to give my few thoughts, you know?

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

and I listened and, and I gradually

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heard what I needed to hear.

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I came back to Dublin.

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I came back to live and I had

one fall after four months.

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I was away.

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And, my sister was there and, she was

looking at me in a very accusing way.

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She was having a few drinks.

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I thought, oh, I can't let her down.

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So I drank with her my final night there.

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And I,

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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Yeah.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502: I thanks

me to God and thanks, thanks to aa.

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I didn't drink the next day on

the flight, on the way home.

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And I have managed since then.

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And you know, having people to listen

to you and have people to advise

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you, and if you do share something.

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You don't necessarily want at a meeting.

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You don't necessarily want

everybody around you at the end.

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I did in the beginning

because I was noticeable.

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I wanted attention but I got it when

I needed it and I knew where to look

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vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

through the years.

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I loved the meetings.

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I love going them, the people that

I thought, what can they tell me?

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See?

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But I didn't realize what.

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: 00:17:34

I thought I knew everything going

away, but the only thing I didn't

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: 00:17:38

know was how to stop drinking.

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: 00:17:40

And they showed me how to do that,

but I really knew nothing about myself

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: 00:17:46

or about how to deal with people.

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: 00:17:48

You know?

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: 00:17:49

I had, uh, I had had a charmed existence.

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: 00:17:52

? And, uh,

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: 00:17:53

vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503: Mm-hmm.

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: 00:17:54

jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I forget the misery of that.

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: 00:17:56

I tried to help since, not now so much.

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: 00:17:59

I've moved house recently, come back

to live in Mayo, which I had left 50

300

: 00:18:05

odd years ago, you know, so, I'm, and

I'm trying to get off the Zoom meetings

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: 00:18:10

because they carried me through right

from COVID, you know, and all that.

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: 00:18:23

Somebody here now.

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: 00:18:24

Just a second.

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: 00:18:24

I'm sorry.

305

: 00:18:26

vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

No, you were right.

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: 00:18:27

jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I'm just finishing off a call.

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: 00:18:28

You don't mind, Larry.

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: 00:18:30

Anyway, It's just great, I help people

when I can because I know that's part of,

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: 00:18:34

the service they're my tribe, they're my

folk, I'm afraid I'll have to finish now

310

: 00:18:40

vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

of course.

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: 00:18:40

Yeah.

312

: 00:18:40

That's amazing.

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: 00:18:42

Your story is phenomenal and what a

woman, I think it's lovely to hear

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: 00:18:46

you say things about feeling like

you needed that confidence and not

315

: 00:18:51

really knowing fully who you were or

what you knew and all of that, and.

316

: 00:18:55

How far you've come.

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: 00:18:56

I mean, all I can say

is thanks for coming on.

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: 00:18:59

It's been lovely hearing your story.

319

: 00:19:01

You are phenomenal.

320

: 00:19:02

Sarah is extremely proud of

you, you told me that you would

321

: 00:19:07

do a great job and you have.

322

: 00:19:08

So you go and entertain your guest who's

arrived and I appreciate it so much, Joe.

323

: 00:19:14

Thank you for coming on.

324

: 00:19:17

jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I'll meet you one day.

325

: 00:19:19

vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

Well, let's hope so.

326

: 00:19:20

I'm hoping to get over to

Ireland at least next year.

327

: 00:19:23

'cause I missed out on a trip this year.

328

: 00:19:25

I was hoping to come, but Sarah

said I can come over next year, so

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: 00:19:28

it would be wonderful to meet you.

330

: 00:19:29

I'll definitely come and see you.

331

: 00:19:31

We can have a cup of tea.

332

: 00:19:33

jo-guest695_1_07-29-2025_121502:

I wish you all the very best.

333

: 00:19:34

Thank you.

334

: 00:19:36

vic-host379_1_07-29-2025_121503:

Thank you so much.

335

: 00:19:37

Take care.

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: 00:19:38

Bye now.

337

: 00:19:39

So that's it for another season and

it's time for me to take a break.

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: 00:19:43

I'll be back in a few months with

some more stories to share with you.

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: 00:19:47

Drop me a follow.

340

: 00:19:47

If you'd like a notification

of new episodes.

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: 00:19:50

I'll see you in season four.

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: 00:19:52

Lots of love, Vic.

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: 00:19:53

PS I still don't drink.