Episode 4
Vic and Janet - Sober, Alcohol Free Stories and priceless gains!
Today I'll talk to Janet. Janet's drinking rocketed during lockdown and although she could still function, she knew that she was drinking a dangerous amount. In partnership with her identical twin, she ditched the booze and is beaming with pride as she shares her success in sobriety with us today.
Transcript
Hi everybody and welcome to
Sober Alcohol Free Stories.
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:I'm Victoria and I don't drink.
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:Today I'll talk to Janet.
4
:Janet's drinking rocketed during
lockdown and although she could
5
:still function, she knew that she
was drinking a dangerous amount.
6
:In partnership with her identical
twin, she ditched the booze and is
7
:beaming with pride as she shares her
success in sobriety with us today.
8
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Hi, Janet.
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:Lovely to see you again because we
had a few technology issues with
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:the podcast, so we've decided to
start again because it was just the
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:gremlins were not coming together
and helping me rescue our recording.
12
:Thank you so much for being so open
to coming back and talking to me again
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:because these things happen and I
still really want to get your story
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:out there so I very much appreciate it.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
and I'm happy to be back.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Ah, you're so welcome.
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:so as I said to you last time, we're
just gonna have a talk about your story.
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:I'd love for you to share with me
and the listeners, your experiences.
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:So a bit about who you were as a
drinker, what that looked like, and
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:then maybe , what made you decide
that enough was enough and that you
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:wanted to knock that on the head
and a bit around how you did it.
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:So if there's someone out there who's
listening who thinks that sounds familiar,
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:sounds a bit like me, or I could be headed
that way, just to show them it's possible
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:really, , and then some of the wonderful
things that you've gone on to do, and
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:so that there is hope that you can have
a really exciting future, and a lovely
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:life without drinking alcohol, and you're
really proof of that, so it'd be good
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:for you to share some of that as well.
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:So I'll hand over to you.
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:If you could just introduce
yourself and tell us a bit about
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:who you were as a drinker first.
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:That's where we'll start.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Okay.
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:my name's Janet Poiner.
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:I'm 62 years of age.
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:I'm an ex nurse, so I've been in
the medical fresh profession and
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:married to a GP, also had a business
promoting education for GPs and nurses.
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:So I am quite medical.
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:and as a result, I realized.
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:that my drinking was
really getting out of hand.
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:So as a teenager in, or in my twenties,
right up to my thirties, didn't
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:really appreciate drink, didn't like
it, just drank for the sake of it.
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:When I was in public, you know, a
glass of wine could last me all night.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
got into my forties, I started to
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:like the taste of wines, and spirits.
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:And my favorite drink was red wine
and Brandy and the brandy had to be a
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:reasonable mate like Remy or Corbacia.
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:those were my main drinks and I
progressively drank more and I realized
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:some 10 years ago really that I was hiking
up my drink it was getting a problem but
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:Sort of denying it as we probably all do.
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:But, I carried on, I tried
to stop numerous times, but I
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:wasn't really serious about it.
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:My husband did say, I think, you
know, you need to just down a bit.
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:I would try and stop and just drink
on the weekends, but that proved
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:to be very difficult for me cause
I ended up drinking as much as I
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:would drink in a week on a weekend.
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:And then when COVID hit, I was,
predominantly working from home.
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:And it was easy just to reach
out for the bottle of wine at two
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:o'clock in the afternoon, pretending
I was having a lunch drink,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
stopped.
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:I continued the drinking
until I went to bed.
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:And before I knew it, I was getting
through two bottles of red wine and half
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:a bottle of brandy every single night.
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:I realized that was too much and
every morning, and I'm sure a lot of
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:people do this, you wake up and you
think, Oh God, not again, I'm going to
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.
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:Mm
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
What a disgrace I am, everything.
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:And I just carried on, I carried on.
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:And then three and a half years
ago, my twin sister, identical
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:twin sister, who also drank.
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:Probably not as much as me, but
nearly as much going through a very
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:messy divorce and her husband had
said she stops drinking because
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:she's got a problem then there might
be a chance I'm going to be doing
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.
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:Mm
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:Mm hmm.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
going to do something we actually
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:see it through when we're serious.
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:Now remember I tried to stop several
times, but I wasn't serious about it.
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:This time I realized I've got,
this is my only chance now.
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:And I can't have a drink with her.
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:can't be drinking alcohol
if she's trying to stop.
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:So, so we did it and we
have, we have achieved it.
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:And, that's three and a half years ago.
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:So, if, if I can do it, I think a
lot of people can, because I did
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:drink a lot and I still functioned.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
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:Gosh, that's interesting.
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:I, something that made me wince a
bit when you were talking is you
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:said that when you used to wake up
in the morning and you would feel
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:like you were a bit of a disgrace.
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:And just that awful, that awful feeling
that you have about yourself And to
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:think that every day and how damaging
that can be to a person, actually, the
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:accumulation of those thoughts all of the
time is really quite saddening, isn't it?
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:To
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: it
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
you were doing that for yourself
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:and feeling that way about yourself.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Self loathing is just, yeah, yeah,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I was asked about this, once on a
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:podcast, somebody asked me, what's
the thing that you've noticed the
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:most since you stopped drinking?
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:And this was quite some time
ago when I was pregnant.
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:Probably about a year in and I said, that
I liked myself a bit better and, she said,
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:well, you've lost the cloak of shame.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
called it the cloak of shame.
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:And I forgot that sound.
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:That's exactly what it was.
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:It was just this thing that
carried around, wasn't it?
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:Like, oh gosh,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
why did you, why did you
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:have a drink last night?
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:Didn't need to do that.
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:It was only a Thursday or whatever it was.
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:Just felt terrible about yourself.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah, it is.
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:It is.
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:But I felt like when I, when
I'd stopped drinking, I realized
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:what I was capable of doing then.
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:And I could
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
any time of the day, any time of
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:the night and go out and I didn't
have that horrible feeling in
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:the morning, let alone hangover.
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:I was happy to, to share the fact
that I wasn't drinking anymore to my
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:friends and people I didn't even know.
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:and if people say, Oh, you're not drinking
people that didn't really know me.
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:And I'd say, no, I drank too much.
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:So I decided to stop.
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:And that's what I'll tell people.
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:And I'm not ashamed of it.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
absolutely not ashamed of what I did.
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:I just felt.
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:self loathing after
I'd had drinking binge.
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:I'm doing something about it.
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:And, and as well as being able to
drive a car without feeling you
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:might be over the limit the next day,
which I'm sure I would have been,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
now got a new granddaughter and I
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:know that I am trusted now to look
after her any day of the week.
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:So that for me is priceless.
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:Absolutely priceless.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Absolutely.
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:Well, I mean, you trust yourself.
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:So obviously other people
will trust you as well.
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:and if we're honest with ourselves,
there's no way they would let you
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:look after her if you were drinking
two bottles of red wine and a
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
bottle of brandy.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
don't think I could have put
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:myself in that situation.
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:I'd have had to refuse,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah, absolutely.
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:Oh gosh.
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:It's a, the capability that
comes afterwards is, um, is
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:something else, isn't it?
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:Realizing that what you can do.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah, I mean, you don't realize
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:that when you are drinking because
these, these little steps that we
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:suddenly realize once we've stopped
drinking are huge once you get there.
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:Once you get to the stage where
you've stopped drinking and you see.
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:Oh my God, I can go out.
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:I can have a drink.
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:I can have a non alcoholic drink,
know, make it look like I'm drinking
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:if that's what you need to do.
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:And I do that.
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:I mean, that is what I do.
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:I drink non alcoholic wine
and non alcoholic beers.
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:And I enjoy that, that that's, and
for me, and it's great, to get in that
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:car and be able to drive any time.
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:And those, those little
steps are huge in the end.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah, what I love about you, Janet,
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:is when you, when you talk about
that, not being ashamed of drinking,
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:you are actually quite different to a
lot of people in that sense, because
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:lots of people don't like to say
that they had an issue with drinking,
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:which in itself, I think is a shame
because, It is a addictive substance.
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:There's, there's no shame in that.
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:if you got addicted to something else
that was an addicted substance and
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:then you stopped doing it, people would
celebrate it massively, wouldn't they?
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:So, you know, if you said, Oh, I used
to take cocaine all the time and now I
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:don't, it would be like, Whoa, amazing.
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:Well done.
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:But somehow there's this weird
thing when it comes to alcohol
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:about it being your fault that it.
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:And I actually truly don't believe it is.
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:I think it can happen to anyone that you
gradually just start drinking more and
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:more and circumstances feed into that.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
So I love that you've said that
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
a lot of people, I want people
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:to feel like you feel about that.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I
mean, my sister is the same, but I know
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:people that are ashamed of saying what
they drank and, you know, and I think we
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:discussed this before the term alcoholic
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
is really, a negative term to me
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:because what denotes an alcoholic?
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:I mean,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
drank two, two bottles of red and a
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:half a bottle of brandy every day.
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:What does that say about me?
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:You know, um, I, I wouldn't
say I was an alcoholic.
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:say I was drinking too much.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
over drinking and, but I could still work.
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:I could still do my job.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
but I was drinking too much.
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:So which bit do we call an alcoholic?
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:know, the guidelines of safe drinking,
you know, always vary, don't they, as
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:well, and it's different for different
people what they can tolerate.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah, yeah.
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:And I mean, let's face it, there's
not very many people who stick
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:within the actual recommended limits.
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:And those recommended
limits aren't safe anyway.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
exactly.
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:I think if,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
you know, there's so many links,
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:isn't there, now to cancer?
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:I mean, it's not, not all the
information isn't necessarily out there
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
everybody to see.
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:But it, but it, well, it is if they look
for it, they would find the information.
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:And you're right, I think that
that term, the term alcoholic,
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:can very easily keep people stuck,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: yes,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
because it allows you to It allows
235
:you to justify that, well, you're not
as bad as, or you're not drinking.
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:And there will be people possibly
listening to the podcast who
237
:think, Oh, well, I didn't drink
two bottles of wine and a half
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:a bottle of brandy, so I'm okay.
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:But no, you're not okay.
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:If it's having a negative impact on
your life in whatever way that is,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
then it's something that you
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:want to take control of and
make some changes, isn't it?
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
definitely.
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:And I would never ever judge anybody
for the amounts that they drank, never.
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:I don't care if people judge me.
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:I'm not bothered, which is the reason
I will say how much I drank . I know
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:is I had a drink problem and I needed
to address it to carry on living.
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:and my liver, was under scrutiny
and I have had, liver function tests
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:recently, and I'm absolutely fine
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Wonderful.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
So I'm, I'm happy to say, you know, I,
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:and I know it does, it does recovery
if you, if you get it, you know, if
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:you, if you get there quick enough.
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:but that's another, pleasing
point for me is that health
256
:wise, I'm in a better place.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
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:Well, you look a picture of health.
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:I know everybody can't see you
because this is audio only, but you
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:really do look a picture of health.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
lot of people have said that.
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:And when I look back at photos, I feel
my God, cause you know, the bloated
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:face, the eyes that are all swollen up.
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:That's, that's what I
can see in my pictures.
265
:And my eldest son actually
showed me a picture.
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:When he got engaged to his, now wife,
about five years ago and he said,
267
:just look at the difference of that.
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:He said, you're going backwards in age.
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:He said, you look younger than me.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Does he drink?
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:Maybe you should give up the drink.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah, the thing is my
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:kids don't really drink.
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:I have three boys all in their
mid to late thirties and they
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:don't, they don't really drink.
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:They may have a social drink with
their friends, but they don't drink.
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:Other than that, really, if we
have even Christmas time, they
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:won't have a drink and they're
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: So,
at least I haven't pushed that onto them.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
No, no, I'm sure you haven't.
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:Well, I'm kind of hoping that mine won't.
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:I mean, mine are younger than yours.
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:So I've got a 12 and a 15 year
old, 15 year old is interested
285
:in curious about everything.
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:So, so we'll see, but, I wouldn't probably
tell him to never drink, but certainly
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:it's useful to have a choice, isn't it?
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:And to know it's an option.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
definitely, and I never did that
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:with mine, you know, I mean, I,
they understood, you know, the
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:complications, and, you know, they'd
have parties here when they were
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:younger, and yes, they drank then,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
now as they're grown up, they're not
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:that bothered about it, and, you know,
that's a good thing for me anyway,
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:that's a good thing, knowing that
they haven't picked up that addiction,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah, that's good to know because
298
:you can catastrophize that I
can catastrophize quite easily
299
:and think, oh my gosh, what if,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I think he just show that
302
:there is another way and, you
know, my husband's still drink.
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:So, you know, I wouldn't, I don't
judge anybody for still having a drink.
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:And I think if my children
did, it would be fine.
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:I can't imagine that it would be
problematic, but they could see it.
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:That you don't have to,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
which I never knew I weirdly, I didn't
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:actually think that was an option.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.
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:I was the same.
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:But I mean, in this day and age
now, I find things a lot easier
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:with the products out there.
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:I mean, there's so many red
wines, white wines, fizz, gins, I
315
:can't believe how many gins there
are that are non alcoholic and
316
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
so much and so many beers that I
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:can't, I couldn't tell the difference.
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:And I have to check when I order a
drink, it's, if it's from a bottle.
320
:have to see the bottle have
to see the bottle of, beer.
321
:So if it's a beer, it has to be through
a bottle so I can see that it is zero.
322
:Cause I probably wouldn't be able
to notice the difference these days.
323
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah, it is really hard to tell
324
:the difference actually, isn't it?
325
:So I would agree with you.
326
:That's probably a top tip if you've,
if you've stopped recently and you
327
:are out and you're ordering a non
alcoholic beer, just ask for the bottle,
328
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
329
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: or
put and pour it in a glass if you want
330
:one and pour it in yourself, because at
least you can double check then can't you?
331
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
That's right.
332
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Hmm.
333
:Hmm.
334
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
wines are probably different because
335
:I was on a cruise, which the first
time I stopped drinking, I found that
336
:really difficult being on a cruise
and having the drink included and
337
:not being able to have a brandy,
but they did do non alcoholic wines.
338
:And I remember had Brought me
over a an alcohol wine and I'm
339
:I knew straight away because I
smelled the smell of it was quite
340
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
341
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
and it was fairly early on
342
:and I said to my husband.
343
:I'm sure that's That's alcohol
and they said it was they've
344
:given me the wrong one.
345
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
346
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
But if I had I wouldn't be beating
347
:myself up and saying oh my god,
I've had an alcohol, you know It
348
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.
349
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
been a mistake by them and
350
:I wouldn't have pursued it
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:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
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:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
but I do,
353
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Well, that happened to me.
354
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
right?
355
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
happened to me.
356
:It was actually my husband's fault.
357
:So he'll probably listen to this.
358
:So this is, um, he, we were on a
camping trip and he was making,
359
:I can't remember what it was.
360
:Was it pina coladas or
something silly like that?
361
:And he said, oh, do you want one?
362
:I'll make you an alcohol free one.
363
:I said, yeah, all right then.
364
:Anyway, because it was the camping trip
with all of his chums, the ones he was
365
:making for them were really strong because
they're just silly when they go camping.
366
:and he handed me the wrong
one and I didn't think to
367
:smell it because it was him.
368
:And because he's so supportive
of me and so careful, you know,
369
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah,
370
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I didn't even think to smell it.
371
:And I just took a swig, but it
was so sweet, it blew my head off.
372
:I was like, oh my God.
373
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
374
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
God, you've given me the wrong one.
375
:I nearly killed him.
376
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,
377
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: I
certainly wasn't going to reset myself
378
:because it completely wasn't my fault.
379
:And interestingly, it didn't make me
think, oh yeah, I quite like that.
380
:I just didn't.
381
:I just thought, no, that's
not for me, not having it.
382
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
383
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
But yeah,
384
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
385
:You see, that's because you're strong
willed enough to stick to your guns.
386
:And I also think I've come this far.
387
:If I was to have a drink
it would put me back.
388
:It would make
389
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah,
390
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
feel like I've let myself down.
391
:I'm going to have to start all over again.
392
:And that's the thing.
393
:That's the push that I've got.
394
:And for anybody that is listening
to this, maybe that's what you
395
:tell yourself if it will help.
396
:But it certainly helps me to
think if I picked up a drink now,
397
:that means I've undone all of the
three and a half years that I've
398
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah.
399
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
So that's how I am.
400
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I've seen a really lovely quote.
401
:I don't know where it was, but
it said, You didn't come this
402
:far just to come this far.
403
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes,
404
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
And I think that really
405
:sums that up, doesn't it?
406
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
definitely.
407
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
And I used that in the early days.
408
:So, you stopped pretty abruptly
by the sounds of things.
409
:did you face any challenges?
410
:Did you find anything difficult?
411
:Or was it fairly plain sailing
because you had one another?
412
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
I think it was easier for us because
413
:we had each other, but the challenges
I faced were going out for meals.
414
:We're not pub people, I mean, God,
we're in our 60s now, me and my husband,
415
:so we're not really the pub people.
416
:type people, uh, but we
417
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Mm hmm.
418
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
out for meals.
419
:I found going out for a
meal was quite challenging.
420
:And I often, some places actually
do non alcoholic wine in the
421
:restaurants, but very few.
422
:So I would always make sure there
was a non alcoholic selection
423
:in the restaurant before
424
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm
425
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
cook.
426
:So that helped me.
427
:But when I saw people, and it was
the same with my twin, Dawn, whenever
428
:she saw anybody with a glass, you
know, the shape of glass for brandy.
429
:with the brandy in that would kind
of set you off and think, Oh, I
430
:could just do with one of those
431
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.
432
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
that taste that you remember.
433
:And we're both the same about that.
434
:Even now, I think, Oh, I
used to love them brandies.
435
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.
436
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
but that's, that's the only thing.
437
:So the challenge is,
yeah, we're eating out.
438
:And then my first cruise, Was very very
difficult and I took my own non alcoholic
439
:wine on the ship They did actually
provide it in certain parts of the ship.
440
:I could actually get it there
441
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Mm hmm.
442
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: know
I was set then but it was early days So
443
:I thought i've got to i've got to cover
all aspects here and make sure i'm going
444
:to be okay and that seemed to be my well,
it was it it was my crook really to think
445
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Mm hmm.
446
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
have an alternative that
447
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
preparation, isn't there, in those
448
:early days and thinking about the
event that you're attending, whatever
449
:it might be, if it's a wedding or a
cruise or a holiday, and just trying
450
:to plan, well, what am I going to do
in that situation when that happens?
451
:And sometimes that is just having
your own version of something.
452
:Sometimes it's, well, I'm going to get
up and leave, and then I'm going to
453
:leave, and then I'm going to leave.
454
:But you know, whatever it might be,
but having a plan in place early days,
455
:I think is a really, really good tool.
456
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah, I definitely agree with you there.
457
:Yeah, definitely work out where you're
going, who you're with, what you can have.
458
:I mean, if there isn't any alcohol drinks
available, I would go for a diet coke,
459
:but I can only drink so much of that.
460
:So I would, my plan, it would have been
to have the coke and leave whenever I
461
:felt you know, that I'd had enough coke,
462
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
463
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
I agree that that's a really good idea
464
:is to have a plan before you go out.
465
:And if you don't feel comfortable,
I know people that haven't,
466
:they've just not done it.
467
:They've just not gone out.
468
:They've not been able to face that
particular moment and just stayed in.
469
:So yeah, I mean, that's all well and good.
470
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
471
:Well, that's a plan in itself, isn't it?
472
:I've spoken quite a lot with people about
this tendency that often people who drink
473
:too much alcohol have is to people please
as well so Going from someone who is
474
:used to people pleasing to being someone
who says, actually, do you know what?
475
:I'm not going to come because
it's going to, it's going to
476
:harm me in some way to come.
477
:So I'm just not going to come to
that is, is quite a hard step.
478
:But once you start saying no to things
that you feel don't really serve
479
:you and they're not going to help
you, particularly in the early days,
480
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
481
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
somebody said, treat it like a pregnancy.
482
:So protect it in that way.
483
:So if you think going to this
is going to throw me off.
484
:What would you do if you were pregnant?
485
:You'd just, you'd probably
not go, would you?
486
:So don't go.
487
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah,
488
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
it's fine.
489
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
It's true.
490
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
491
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
thing is, we didn't have a
492
:problem with our friends drinking,
but I know some people do.
493
:I know some people that can't
be around anyone with alcohol.
494
:I didn't find that a problem at all.
495
:In fact, I think that helped
me more than anything to be
496
:strong and be proud of myself.
497
:And I was proud, you know, I'd
go out there and think, well, I'm
498
:having a, and I would loudly say,
do you have any non alcoholic stuff?
499
:You know, I'm proud to say it,
but often people that don't, you
500
:go on, have one, just have one.
501
:Why can you not just have one?
502
:You know, and you don't want to
explain over and over again, but, you
503
:could even say, well, I'm driving if
you didn't want to explain yourself,
504
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
505
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
you could say, well, I'm driving, so
506
:I'm not, I'm not drinking, you know.
507
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
508
:Or you could say, well, if I just had
one, you'd want to see what happens.
509
:It's probably not ideal.
510
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Or you could say you wouldn't
511
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
512
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
I started with one.
513
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
514
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
would be an expensive night
515
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
dear.
516
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
But I have to say that the non alcoholic
517
:stuff is as dear as the, the alcohol
518
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: is.
519
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
especially in restaurants and bars.
520
:And, um, like the rum, the non alcoholic
Morgan spiced rum is quite nice.
521
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Okay.
522
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
That's normally 15 pounds.
523
:in supermarkets and
it's down to 10 in Asda.
524
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
okay.
525
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
just been and bought six, bottles.
526
:And I said, in that case,
I've had three free.
527
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Well, there you are.
528
:That's true.
529
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
me a year now.
530
:If I feel like I want a little, a
little tiny tot, I'll have one of those.
531
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
We've got one of those.
532
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah,
533
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
sometimes that kind of spice, isn't it?
534
:Because it's the, the burn of alcohol
that makes it taste different.
535
:Isn't it?
536
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
definitely.
537
:It's that ginger kick that you get
at the back of your throat, I think,
538
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah, exactly.
539
:Exactly.
540
:Yeah.
541
:Trying to replicate that to some extent.
542
:Sometimes I want to, and sometimes I just
want to have something that tastes nice.
543
:It's different depending on how far along
you are in the journey as well, isn't it?
544
:Because.
545
:And I know some people who can't
have anything that's remotely like
546
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.
547
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
because it throws them.
548
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
549
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
was like you.
550
:I quite liked, I used to drink
something called Naughty, which was,
551
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
bought
552
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: um,
553
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
bought some.
554
:Yes.
555
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah, I liked that.
556
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
that's my favorite has
557
:to be the Nosecco, which
558
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
559
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
now, they do a fizz, they do a white,
560
:a rosé, and a red, and it was in
Morrison's, every time I go, the red is
561
:gone, so it's obviously a popular one,
562
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Oh, okay.
563
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
you can get it online as well, Nosecco,
564
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Nosecco Red.
565
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
just the Prosecco, but it's not, they've
566
:branded out and they're now producing
the, the wines as well, so no secco.
567
:Whether you're red or white or rosé,
they do it in that as well, so that's
568
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
569
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
that's one of my
570
:favourites, I have to say.
571
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Well, I went through, when I was
572
:a drinker, I went through . Well
this is when I was trying to work
573
:out what I could drink, so one
form of moderation or another.
574
:So I was like, all of a sudden, oh
no, I can't drink, anything with
575
:fizz 'cause it makes me a bit crazy.
576
:Then I realized, no, it's not that.
577
:Okay.
578
:So I won't drink any white
wine 'cause it's white wine.
579
:That's what makes me crazy.
580
:I'm not gonna drink white wine.
581
:So that one went off the list.
582
:Then it was, pink wine.
583
:Yeah, no, not gonna drink that.
584
:That makes me crazy.
585
:Then it was red and then eventually
I was like, right, it's just alcohol.
586
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
587
:Yeah.
588
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Give up.
589
:But, so I would probably enjoy
all of those as replacements.
590
:Actually, I'll give them a go.
591
:We've got a Morrison's
not too far away, so I
592
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
they're really nice,
593
:really good, good quality.
594
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
can go and have a look.
595
:so since you've stopped, what are some
of the, you mentioned your granddaughter.
596
:What are some of the joys that you think
have come into your life because you
597
:made this decision and perhaps may not
have done had you not made this decision?
598
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Well, I can remember things the next day,
599
:which is probably the best thing ever.
600
:I can have a conversation the next day and
not forget what happened the night before
601
:or what we watched on TV or whatever.
602
:So I
603
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
604
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
wise, I mean, my age, my memory's
605
:not brilliant anyway, but I
can at least recall things.
606
:Um, and I'm not.
607
:Fogged with with an alcohol brain and
608
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
609
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: up
refreshed and wanting to do things with
610
:my life I feel more energized I look
forward to getting up in the morning and
611
:now we're retired as well our holidays.
612
:So
613
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
614
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
about It's about being able
615
:to just do what you want.
616
:I'm a little bit more, stronger in myself.
617
:I feel like I'm, you know, if I want it,
you know, if I want to do something, I
618
:don't, I don't really question whether
it's going to affect anybody else anymore.
619
:It's more,
620
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
621
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
want to do it.
622
:And that's that, you know, I feel
a bit stronger in that sense.
623
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
624
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah, I'm not as groggy at all.
625
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah.
626
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
back and I thought, I feel fine really.
627
:I'm still working and everything's okay.
628
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Mm hmm.
629
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
now, now that I've got rid of all of the
630
:alcohol, I feel, I've noticed how much
brighter I am, how much better I feel.
631
:and that's, you know, that's
definitely a plus point.
632
:And if you guys want to look
younger, you need to ditch the
633
:booze because it definitely helps.
634
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
It does.
635
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
636
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
It definitely does.
637
:My skin was so much better within
quite a short amount of time.
638
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
639
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
also because when I stopped, I was sort of
640
:replacing what I was doing in the evening.
641
:So, I would go and do my
skincare routine when I stopped.
642
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
643
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I actually started looking
644
:after my skin, whereas before I
probably fell into bed with it.
645
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
646
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
still on.
647
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
648
:Yeah.
649
:Yeah.
650
:That's right.
651
:True.
652
:It's true.
653
:Yeah.
654
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
I know, but also having a little
655
:bit of hydration in your body
656
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
exactly.
657
:Yeah.
658
:No, it's, it's, it's for me and
obviously for you as well, it's
659
:the best thing you've ever done.
660
:I definitely can honestly say I would
never touch alcohol ever in my life.
661
:and I'm fine with that.
662
:I don't have a problem with that at all.
663
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No,
664
:absolutely.
665
:I don't have any regret.
666
:I don't ever look at someone having a
drink and think that I want to have that.
667
:there are certain times of year where
I might see something and I'll get
668
:that little flash where I think, oh,
and then I very quickly can correct
669
:myself to, you know, that picture that
I've just had of that romanticized
670
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.
671
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
in a.
672
:pub garden.
673
:Actually, for me, that doesn't,
that's not what that would look like.
674
:So I wouldn't have one in
a pub garden and go home.
675
:So I very quickly can recenter myself.
676
:I loved what you said about basically
knowing yourself, you know, knowing,
677
:knowing what you want to do and
having the confidence to, to do that.
678
:And, you know, without any question.
679
:And I think that sobriety really
has done that for me as well.
680
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
good.
681
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah, I feel like, because I just
682
:was so unsure of myself, I didn't
really trust myself or like myself.
683
:I used to, I would sort of
question everything really.
684
:Did I want to go there?
685
:I wasn't very good at decision making.
686
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
687
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
thought I would get it right.
688
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: you
feel more in control, don't you, as well?
689
:Definitely.
690
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah.
691
:And a bit smug.
692
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.
693
:Oh, definitely that.
694
:Yeah.
695
:Yeah.
696
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
We're allowed that, aren't we?
697
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Oh, absolutely.
698
:I think we've earned it.
699
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
We have exactly,
700
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
But I
701
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
exactly.
702
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
thing I just wanted to mention,
703
:and it's probably not a good thing,
but I've really gone into coffee.
704
:So
705
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
706
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
drinking, I never really
707
:bothered with coffee.
708
:Oh gosh.
709
:I've really got the taste for coffee.
710
:And that's the other thing.
711
:My taste has changed.
712
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
713
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
yeah, definitely coffee.
714
:and I don't drink, after about two, 2 p.
715
:m.
716
:coffee, but I definitely appreciate
the different flavors of coffee now.
717
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
718
:I love my coffee.
719
:I have like a little sober ladies group
and we call it our smug in the morning.
720
:Our little smug of coffee.
721
:Because you just get up and you know,
often like my phone's binging at like 6.
722
:30 these days with my
friends who don't drink
723
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Yeah.
724
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
we're all sat there with the
725
:lovely light coming up and having
a nice cup of coffee while everyone
726
:else sweeps off their hangovers.
727
:Particularly on a Saturday and
Sunday and it's a lovely feeling.
728
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
it is and it
729
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Sorry to all my drinking friends.
730
:Oh dear.
731
:Ah, well, do you know what?
732
:We've, we've filled our half hour.
733
:It's been really enjoyable and in a way
I'm quite glad now that our recording
734
:didn't work last time because it's
been lovely talking to you again.
735
:Yeah.
736
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: has
and it's great to get out there and I,
737
:and I hope that of what I've said may help
other people, you know, for me, definitely
738
:those alternatives, work for me.
739
:There isn't really anything else that
works for me, other than the fact that
740
:I've got my sister to help me, but I think
by now I could manage on my own anyway.
741
:I don't desire alcohol at all now.
742
:I've definitely gone past that stage,
but definitely if you can, it probably
743
:will help to just have an alternative,
provided it is complete zero alcohol.
744
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah, absolutely.
745
:Have a plan, have an alternative, have
some confidence, and connection is key.
746
:is good if you can get it as well.
747
:There's lots of other ways.
748
:If you, you know, if you're not
lucky enough to have someone close to
749
:you who is trying to stop drinking,
there's lots of groups out there.
750
:Um, so baristas I've mentioned on
podcast before, it's brilliant.
751
:Um, lots of Facebook groups, sober
society, UK,, Mike, he's been on
752
:here before, and spoken about.
753
:that Facebook group, which he
set up, which is brilliant.
754
:There's all of the Alcohol Explained
staff, Annie Grace, Victoria Vanstone,
755
:so many different, people that you
can follow and connect in that way.
756
:So yeah, get some sober buddies and go
for it because life just gets better.
757
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
does.
758
:Absolutely, it does.
759
:Yeah.
760
:Congrat,
761
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah.
762
:Well, congratulations and thank you
so much for coming on the podcast.
763
:Much appreciated.
764
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
to you as well.
765
:'cause yours is just three
years gone, hasn't it?
766
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.
767
:Three years it was on the 15th.
768
:Yeah, that was really nice.
769
:So I can't actually believe it if
I'm honest, but yeah, it's great.
770
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
that's another thing I would say.
771
:Sorry, I've just realized that when you
get past a day and then before you know,
772
:it's a week before, you know, that it's a
month and just keep saying, wow, that's a
773
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Yeah,
774
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Wow.
775
:That's six months and it soon passes.
776
:And before you know, it's a year.
777
:And by then, I think most people
will have conquered that by then
778
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
yeah,
779
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
to their, you know, their
780
:desire to stop drinking.
781
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Absolutely.
782
:Celebrate every single day,
783
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Definitely.
784
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
every little milestone you hit.
785
:I bought myself gifts
786
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,
787
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
for the first year.
788
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
Better not tell my husband because
789
:there'll be no room in the house left.
790
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: You
could book a little holiday every time.
791
:It's a little milestone.
792
:Yeah,
793
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
That's it.
794
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
that's it.
795
:Oh, well thank you so much.
796
:It's been lovely talking to
797
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
and you, thank you so much
798
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
you, Janet,
799
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: keep
800
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
care.
801
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:
with the podcast.
802
:I think you're doing an amazing job.
803
:squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:
Thank you.
804
:Will do.
805
:Bye.
806
:squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Bye.
807
:Thank you for listening.
808
:To Sabre alcohol-free stories.
809
:If this episode helped you, please.
810
:Please like share and follow.
811
:Or leave a review on pod chaser.
812
:Dot com.
813
:And if you've got a story to
tell, please contact me on Sabre.
814
:A F stories@outlook.com.
815
:And don't forget.
816
:You can make your catch phrase.
817
:I don't drink.