Episode 4

Vic and Janet - Sober, Alcohol Free Stories and priceless gains!

Published on: 24th January, 2025

 Today I'll talk to Janet. Janet's drinking rocketed during lockdown and although she could still function, she knew that she was drinking a dangerous amount. In partnership with her identical twin, she ditched the booze and is beaming with pride as she shares her success in sobriety with us today.

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

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I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

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Today I'll talk to Janet.

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Janet's drinking rocketed during

lockdown and although she could

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still function, she knew that she

was drinking a dangerous amount.

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In partnership with her identical

twin, she ditched the booze and is

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beaming with pride as she shares her

success in sobriety with us today.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Hi, Janet.

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Lovely to see you again because we

had a few technology issues with

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the podcast, so we've decided to

start again because it was just the

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gremlins were not coming together

and helping me rescue our recording.

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Thank you so much for being so open

to coming back and talking to me again

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because these things happen and I

still really want to get your story

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out there so I very much appreciate it.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and I'm happy to be back.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Ah, you're so welcome.

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so as I said to you last time, we're

just gonna have a talk about your story.

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I'd love for you to share with me

and the listeners, your experiences.

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So a bit about who you were as a

drinker, what that looked like, and

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then maybe , what made you decide

that enough was enough and that you

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wanted to knock that on the head

and a bit around how you did it.

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So if there's someone out there who's

listening who thinks that sounds familiar,

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sounds a bit like me, or I could be headed

that way, just to show them it's possible

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really, , and then some of the wonderful

things that you've gone on to do, and

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so that there is hope that you can have

a really exciting future, and a lovely

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life without drinking alcohol, and you're

really proof of that, so it'd be good

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for you to share some of that as well.

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So I'll hand over to you.

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If you could just introduce

yourself and tell us a bit about

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who you were as a drinker first.

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That's where we'll start.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Okay.

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my name's Janet Poiner.

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I'm 62 years of age.

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I'm an ex nurse, so I've been in

the medical fresh profession and

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married to a GP, also had a business

promoting education for GPs and nurses.

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So I am quite medical.

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and as a result, I realized.

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that my drinking was

really getting out of hand.

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So as a teenager in, or in my twenties,

right up to my thirties, didn't

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really appreciate drink, didn't like

it, just drank for the sake of it.

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When I was in public, you know, a

glass of wine could last me all night.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

got into my forties, I started to

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like the taste of wines, and spirits.

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And my favorite drink was red wine

and Brandy and the brandy had to be a

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reasonable mate like Remy or Corbacia.

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those were my main drinks and I

progressively drank more and I realized

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some 10 years ago really that I was hiking

up my drink it was getting a problem but

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Sort of denying it as we probably all do.

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But, I carried on, I tried

to stop numerous times, but I

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wasn't really serious about it.

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My husband did say, I think, you

know, you need to just down a bit.

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I would try and stop and just drink

on the weekends, but that proved

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to be very difficult for me cause

I ended up drinking as much as I

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would drink in a week on a weekend.

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And then when COVID hit, I was,

predominantly working from home.

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And it was easy just to reach

out for the bottle of wine at two

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o'clock in the afternoon, pretending

I was having a lunch drink,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

stopped.

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I continued the drinking

until I went to bed.

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And before I knew it, I was getting

through two bottles of red wine and half

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a bottle of brandy every single night.

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I realized that was too much and

every morning, and I'm sure a lot of

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people do this, you wake up and you

think, Oh God, not again, I'm going to

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

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Mm

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

What a disgrace I am, everything.

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And I just carried on, I carried on.

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And then three and a half years

ago, my twin sister, identical

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twin sister, who also drank.

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Probably not as much as me, but

nearly as much going through a very

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messy divorce and her husband had

said she stops drinking because

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she's got a problem then there might

be a chance I'm going to be doing

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

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Mm

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Mm hmm.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

going to do something we actually

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see it through when we're serious.

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Now remember I tried to stop several

times, but I wasn't serious about it.

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This time I realized I've got,

this is my only chance now.

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And I can't have a drink with her.

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can't be drinking alcohol

if she's trying to stop.

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So, so we did it and we

have, we have achieved it.

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And, that's three and a half years ago.

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So, if, if I can do it, I think a

lot of people can, because I did

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drink a lot and I still functioned.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

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Gosh, that's interesting.

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I, something that made me wince a

bit when you were talking is you

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said that when you used to wake up

in the morning and you would feel

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like you were a bit of a disgrace.

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And just that awful, that awful feeling

that you have about yourself And to

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think that every day and how damaging

that can be to a person, actually, the

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accumulation of those thoughts all of the

time is really quite saddening, isn't it?

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To

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: it

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you were doing that for yourself

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and feeling that way about yourself.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Self loathing is just, yeah, yeah,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I was asked about this, once on a

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podcast, somebody asked me, what's

the thing that you've noticed the

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most since you stopped drinking?

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And this was quite some time

ago when I was pregnant.

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Probably about a year in and I said, that

I liked myself a bit better and, she said,

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well, you've lost the cloak of shame.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

called it the cloak of shame.

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And I forgot that sound.

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That's exactly what it was.

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It was just this thing that

carried around, wasn't it?

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Like, oh gosh,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

why did you, why did you

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have a drink last night?

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Didn't need to do that.

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It was only a Thursday or whatever it was.

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Just felt terrible about yourself.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, it is.

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It is.

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But I felt like when I, when

I'd stopped drinking, I realized

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what I was capable of doing then.

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And I could

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

any time of the day, any time of

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the night and go out and I didn't

have that horrible feeling in

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the morning, let alone hangover.

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I was happy to, to share the fact

that I wasn't drinking anymore to my

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friends and people I didn't even know.

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and if people say, Oh, you're not drinking

people that didn't really know me.

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And I'd say, no, I drank too much.

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So I decided to stop.

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And that's what I'll tell people.

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And I'm not ashamed of it.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

absolutely not ashamed of what I did.

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I just felt.

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self loathing after

I'd had drinking binge.

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I'm doing something about it.

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And, and as well as being able to

drive a car without feeling you

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might be over the limit the next day,

which I'm sure I would have been,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now got a new granddaughter and I

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know that I am trusted now to look

after her any day of the week.

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So that for me is priceless.

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Absolutely priceless.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Absolutely.

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Well, I mean, you trust yourself.

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So obviously other people

will trust you as well.

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and if we're honest with ourselves,

there's no way they would let you

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look after her if you were drinking

two bottles of red wine and a

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

bottle of brandy.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

don't think I could have put

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myself in that situation.

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I'd have had to refuse,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, absolutely.

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Oh gosh.

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It's a, the capability that

comes afterwards is, um, is

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something else, isn't it?

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Realizing that what you can do.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, I mean, you don't realize

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that when you are drinking because

these, these little steps that we

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suddenly realize once we've stopped

drinking are huge once you get there.

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Once you get to the stage where

you've stopped drinking and you see.

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Oh my God, I can go out.

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I can have a drink.

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I can have a non alcoholic drink,

know, make it look like I'm drinking

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if that's what you need to do.

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And I do that.

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I mean, that is what I do.

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I drink non alcoholic wine

and non alcoholic beers.

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And I enjoy that, that that's, and

for me, and it's great, to get in that

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car and be able to drive any time.

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And those, those little

steps are huge in the end.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, what I love about you, Janet,

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is when you, when you talk about

that, not being ashamed of drinking,

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you are actually quite different to a

lot of people in that sense, because

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lots of people don't like to say

that they had an issue with drinking,

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which in itself, I think is a shame

because, It is a addictive substance.

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There's, there's no shame in that.

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if you got addicted to something else

that was an addicted substance and

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then you stopped doing it, people would

celebrate it massively, wouldn't they?

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So, you know, if you said, Oh, I used

to take cocaine all the time and now I

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don't, it would be like, Whoa, amazing.

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Well done.

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But somehow there's this weird

thing when it comes to alcohol

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about it being your fault that it.

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And I actually truly don't believe it is.

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I think it can happen to anyone that you

gradually just start drinking more and

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more and circumstances feed into that.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

So I love that you've said that

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

a lot of people, I want people

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to feel like you feel about that.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I

mean, my sister is the same, but I know

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people that are ashamed of saying what

they drank and, you know, and I think we

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discussed this before the term alcoholic

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

is really, a negative term to me

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because what denotes an alcoholic?

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I mean,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

drank two, two bottles of red and a

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half a bottle of brandy every day.

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What does that say about me?

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You know, um, I, I wouldn't

say I was an alcoholic.

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say I was drinking too much.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

over drinking and, but I could still work.

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I could still do my job.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but I was drinking too much.

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So which bit do we call an alcoholic?

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know, the guidelines of safe drinking,

you know, always vary, don't they, as

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well, and it's different for different

people what they can tolerate.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, yeah.

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And I mean, let's face it, there's

not very many people who stick

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within the actual recommended limits.

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And those recommended

limits aren't safe anyway.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

exactly.

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I think if,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you know, there's so many links,

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isn't there, now to cancer?

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I mean, it's not, not all the

information isn't necessarily out there

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

everybody to see.

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But it, but it, well, it is if they look

for it, they would find the information.

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And you're right, I think that

that term, the term alcoholic,

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can very easily keep people stuck,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: yes,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

because it allows you to It allows

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you to justify that, well, you're not

as bad as, or you're not drinking.

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And there will be people possibly

listening to the podcast who

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think, Oh, well, I didn't drink

two bottles of wine and a half

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a bottle of brandy, so I'm okay.

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But no, you're not okay.

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If it's having a negative impact on

your life in whatever way that is,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

then it's something that you

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want to take control of and

make some changes, isn't it?

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

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And I would never ever judge anybody

for the amounts that they drank, never.

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I don't care if people judge me.

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I'm not bothered, which is the reason

I will say how much I drank . I know

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is I had a drink problem and I needed

to address it to carry on living.

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and my liver, was under scrutiny

and I have had, liver function tests

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recently, and I'm absolutely fine

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Wonderful.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

So I'm, I'm happy to say, you know, I,

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and I know it does, it does recovery

if you, if you get it, you know, if

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you, if you get there quick enough.

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but that's another, pleasing

point for me is that health

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wise, I'm in a better place.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

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Well, you look a picture of health.

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I know everybody can't see you

because this is audio only, but you

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really do look a picture of health.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

lot of people have said that.

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And when I look back at photos, I feel

my God, cause you know, the bloated

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face, the eyes that are all swollen up.

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That's, that's what I

can see in my pictures.

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And my eldest son actually

showed me a picture.

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When he got engaged to his, now wife,

about five years ago and he said,

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just look at the difference of that.

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He said, you're going backwards in age.

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He said, you look younger than me.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Does he drink?

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Maybe you should give up the drink.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, the thing is my

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kids don't really drink.

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I have three boys all in their

mid to late thirties and they

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don't, they don't really drink.

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They may have a social drink with

their friends, but they don't drink.

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Other than that, really, if we

have even Christmas time, they

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won't have a drink and they're

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: So,

at least I haven't pushed that onto them.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

No, no, I'm sure you haven't.

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Well, I'm kind of hoping that mine won't.

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I mean, mine are younger than yours.

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So I've got a 12 and a 15 year

old, 15 year old is interested

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in curious about everything.

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So, so we'll see, but, I wouldn't probably

tell him to never drink, but certainly

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it's useful to have a choice, isn't it?

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And to know it's an option.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely, and I never did that

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with mine, you know, I mean, I,

they understood, you know, the

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complications, and, you know, they'd

have parties here when they were

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younger, and yes, they drank then,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now as they're grown up, they're not

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that bothered about it, and, you know,

that's a good thing for me anyway,

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that's a good thing, knowing that

they haven't picked up that addiction,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, that's good to know because

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you can catastrophize that I

can catastrophize quite easily

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and think, oh my gosh, what if,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I think he just show that

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there is another way and, you

know, my husband's still drink.

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So, you know, I wouldn't, I don't

judge anybody for still having a drink.

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And I think if my children

did, it would be fine.

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I can't imagine that it would be

problematic, but they could see it.

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That you don't have to,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

which I never knew I weirdly, I didn't

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actually think that was an option.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

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I was the same.

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But I mean, in this day and age

now, I find things a lot easier

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with the products out there.

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I mean, there's so many red

wines, white wines, fizz, gins, I

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can't believe how many gins there

are that are non alcoholic and

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

so much and so many beers that I

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can't, I couldn't tell the difference.

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And I have to check when I order a

drink, it's, if it's from a bottle.

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have to see the bottle have

to see the bottle of, beer.

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So if it's a beer, it has to be through

a bottle so I can see that it is zero.

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Cause I probably wouldn't be able

to notice the difference these days.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, it is really hard to tell

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the difference actually, isn't it?

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So I would agree with you.

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That's probably a top tip if you've,

if you've stopped recently and you

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are out and you're ordering a non

alcoholic beer, just ask for the bottle,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: or

put and pour it in a glass if you want

330

:

one and pour it in yourself, because at

least you can double check then can't you?

331

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's right.

332

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Hmm.

333

:

Hmm.

334

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

wines are probably different because

335

:

I was on a cruise, which the first

time I stopped drinking, I found that

336

:

really difficult being on a cruise

and having the drink included and

337

:

not being able to have a brandy,

but they did do non alcoholic wines.

338

:

And I remember had Brought me

over a an alcohol wine and I'm

339

:

I knew straight away because I

smelled the smell of it was quite

340

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

341

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and it was fairly early on

342

:

and I said to my husband.

343

:

I'm sure that's That's alcohol

and they said it was they've

344

:

given me the wrong one.

345

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

346

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But if I had I wouldn't be beating

347

:

myself up and saying oh my god,

I've had an alcohol, you know It

348

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.

349

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

been a mistake by them and

350

:

I wouldn't have pursued it

351

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

352

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but I do,

353

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, that happened to me.

354

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

right?

355

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

happened to me.

356

:

It was actually my husband's fault.

357

:

So he'll probably listen to this.

358

:

So this is, um, he, we were on a

camping trip and he was making,

359

:

I can't remember what it was.

360

:

Was it pina coladas or

something silly like that?

361

:

And he said, oh, do you want one?

362

:

I'll make you an alcohol free one.

363

:

I said, yeah, all right then.

364

:

Anyway, because it was the camping trip

with all of his chums, the ones he was

365

:

making for them were really strong because

they're just silly when they go camping.

366

:

and he handed me the wrong

one and I didn't think to

367

:

smell it because it was him.

368

:

And because he's so supportive

of me and so careful, you know,

369

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah,

370

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I didn't even think to smell it.

371

:

And I just took a swig, but it

was so sweet, it blew my head off.

372

:

I was like, oh my God.

373

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

374

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

God, you've given me the wrong one.

375

:

I nearly killed him.

376

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,

377

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: I

certainly wasn't going to reset myself

378

:

because it completely wasn't my fault.

379

:

And interestingly, it didn't make me

think, oh yeah, I quite like that.

380

:

I just didn't.

381

:

I just thought, no, that's

not for me, not having it.

382

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

383

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

But yeah,

384

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

385

:

You see, that's because you're strong

willed enough to stick to your guns.

386

:

And I also think I've come this far.

387

:

If I was to have a drink

it would put me back.

388

:

It would make

389

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

390

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

feel like I've let myself down.

391

:

I'm going to have to start all over again.

392

:

And that's the thing.

393

:

That's the push that I've got.

394

:

And for anybody that is listening

to this, maybe that's what you

395

:

tell yourself if it will help.

396

:

But it certainly helps me to

think if I picked up a drink now,

397

:

that means I've undone all of the

three and a half years that I've

398

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

399

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

So that's how I am.

400

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I've seen a really lovely quote.

401

:

I don't know where it was, but

it said, You didn't come this

402

:

far just to come this far.

403

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes,

404

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

And I think that really

405

:

sums that up, doesn't it?

406

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

407

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

And I used that in the early days.

408

:

So, you stopped pretty abruptly

by the sounds of things.

409

:

did you face any challenges?

410

:

Did you find anything difficult?

411

:

Or was it fairly plain sailing

because you had one another?

412

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I think it was easier for us because

413

:

we had each other, but the challenges

I faced were going out for meals.

414

:

We're not pub people, I mean, God,

we're in our 60s now, me and my husband,

415

:

so we're not really the pub people.

416

:

type people, uh, but we

417

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

418

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

out for meals.

419

:

I found going out for a

meal was quite challenging.

420

:

And I often, some places actually

do non alcoholic wine in the

421

:

restaurants, but very few.

422

:

So I would always make sure there

was a non alcoholic selection

423

:

in the restaurant before

424

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm

425

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

cook.

426

:

So that helped me.

427

:

But when I saw people, and it was

the same with my twin, Dawn, whenever

428

:

she saw anybody with a glass, you

know, the shape of glass for brandy.

429

:

with the brandy in that would kind

of set you off and think, Oh, I

430

:

could just do with one of those

431

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

432

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that taste that you remember.

433

:

And we're both the same about that.

434

:

Even now, I think, Oh, I

used to love them brandies.

435

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

436

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but that's, that's the only thing.

437

:

So the challenge is,

yeah, we're eating out.

438

:

And then my first cruise, Was very very

difficult and I took my own non alcoholic

439

:

wine on the ship They did actually

provide it in certain parts of the ship.

440

:

I could actually get it there

441

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

442

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: know

I was set then but it was early days So

443

:

I thought i've got to i've got to cover

all aspects here and make sure i'm going

444

:

to be okay and that seemed to be my well,

it was it it was my crook really to think

445

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

446

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

have an alternative that

447

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

preparation, isn't there, in those

448

:

early days and thinking about the

event that you're attending, whatever

449

:

it might be, if it's a wedding or a

cruise or a holiday, and just trying

450

:

to plan, well, what am I going to do

in that situation when that happens?

451

:

And sometimes that is just having

your own version of something.

452

:

Sometimes it's, well, I'm going to get

up and leave, and then I'm going to

453

:

leave, and then I'm going to leave.

454

:

But you know, whatever it might be,

but having a plan in place early days,

455

:

I think is a really, really good tool.

456

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah, I definitely agree with you there.

457

:

Yeah, definitely work out where you're

going, who you're with, what you can have.

458

:

I mean, if there isn't any alcohol drinks

available, I would go for a diet coke,

459

:

but I can only drink so much of that.

460

:

So I would, my plan, it would have been

to have the coke and leave whenever I

461

:

felt you know, that I'd had enough coke,

462

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

463

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I agree that that's a really good idea

464

:

is to have a plan before you go out.

465

:

And if you don't feel comfortable,

I know people that haven't,

466

:

they've just not done it.

467

:

They've just not gone out.

468

:

They've not been able to face that

particular moment and just stayed in.

469

:

So yeah, I mean, that's all well and good.

470

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

471

:

Well, that's a plan in itself, isn't it?

472

:

I've spoken quite a lot with people about

this tendency that often people who drink

473

:

too much alcohol have is to people please

as well so Going from someone who is

474

:

used to people pleasing to being someone

who says, actually, do you know what?

475

:

I'm not going to come because

it's going to, it's going to

476

:

harm me in some way to come.

477

:

So I'm just not going to come to

that is, is quite a hard step.

478

:

But once you start saying no to things

that you feel don't really serve

479

:

you and they're not going to help

you, particularly in the early days,

480

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

481

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

somebody said, treat it like a pregnancy.

482

:

So protect it in that way.

483

:

So if you think going to this

is going to throw me off.

484

:

What would you do if you were pregnant?

485

:

You'd just, you'd probably

not go, would you?

486

:

So don't go.

487

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

488

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

it's fine.

489

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

It's true.

490

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

491

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

thing is, we didn't have a

492

:

problem with our friends drinking,

but I know some people do.

493

:

I know some people that can't

be around anyone with alcohol.

494

:

I didn't find that a problem at all.

495

:

In fact, I think that helped

me more than anything to be

496

:

strong and be proud of myself.

497

:

And I was proud, you know, I'd

go out there and think, well, I'm

498

:

having a, and I would loudly say,

do you have any non alcoholic stuff?

499

:

You know, I'm proud to say it,

but often people that don't, you

500

:

go on, have one, just have one.

501

:

Why can you not just have one?

502

:

You know, and you don't want to

explain over and over again, but, you

503

:

could even say, well, I'm driving if

you didn't want to explain yourself,

504

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

505

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

you could say, well, I'm driving, so

506

:

I'm not, I'm not drinking, you know.

507

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

508

:

Or you could say, well, if I just had

one, you'd want to see what happens.

509

:

It's probably not ideal.

510

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Or you could say you wouldn't

511

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

512

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I started with one.

513

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

514

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

would be an expensive night

515

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

dear.

516

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But I have to say that the non alcoholic

517

:

stuff is as dear as the, the alcohol

518

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: is.

519

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

especially in restaurants and bars.

520

:

And, um, like the rum, the non alcoholic

Morgan spiced rum is quite nice.

521

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Okay.

522

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's normally 15 pounds.

523

:

in supermarkets and

it's down to 10 in Asda.

524

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

okay.

525

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

just been and bought six, bottles.

526

:

And I said, in that case,

I've had three free.

527

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, there you are.

528

:

That's true.

529

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

me a year now.

530

:

If I feel like I want a little, a

little tiny tot, I'll have one of those.

531

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We've got one of those.

532

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah,

533

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

sometimes that kind of spice, isn't it?

534

:

Because it's the, the burn of alcohol

that makes it taste different.

535

:

Isn't it?

536

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

537

:

It's that ginger kick that you get

at the back of your throat, I think,

538

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, exactly.

539

:

Exactly.

540

:

Yeah.

541

:

Trying to replicate that to some extent.

542

:

Sometimes I want to, and sometimes I just

want to have something that tastes nice.

543

:

It's different depending on how far along

you are in the journey as well, isn't it?

544

:

Because.

545

:

And I know some people who can't

have anything that's remotely like

546

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

547

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

because it throws them.

548

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

549

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

was like you.

550

:

I quite liked, I used to drink

something called Naughty, which was,

551

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

bought

552

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: um,

553

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

bought some.

554

:

Yes.

555

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, I liked that.

556

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's my favorite has

557

:

to be the Nosecco, which

558

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

559

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now, they do a fizz, they do a white,

560

:

a rosé, and a red, and it was in

Morrison's, every time I go, the red is

561

:

gone, so it's obviously a popular one,

562

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Oh, okay.

563

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

you can get it online as well, Nosecco,

564

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Nosecco Red.

565

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

just the Prosecco, but it's not, they've

566

:

branded out and they're now producing

the, the wines as well, so no secco.

567

:

Whether you're red or white or rosé,

they do it in that as well, so that's

568

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

569

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's one of my

570

:

favourites, I have to say.

571

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, I went through, when I was

572

:

a drinker, I went through . Well

this is when I was trying to work

573

:

out what I could drink, so one

form of moderation or another.

574

:

So I was like, all of a sudden, oh

no, I can't drink, anything with

575

:

fizz 'cause it makes me a bit crazy.

576

:

Then I realized, no, it's not that.

577

:

Okay.

578

:

So I won't drink any white

wine 'cause it's white wine.

579

:

That's what makes me crazy.

580

:

I'm not gonna drink white wine.

581

:

So that one went off the list.

582

:

Then it was, pink wine.

583

:

Yeah, no, not gonna drink that.

584

:

That makes me crazy.

585

:

Then it was red and then eventually

I was like, right, it's just alcohol.

586

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

587

:

Yeah.

588

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Give up.

589

:

But, so I would probably enjoy

all of those as replacements.

590

:

Actually, I'll give them a go.

591

:

We've got a Morrison's

not too far away, so I

592

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

they're really nice,

593

:

really good, good quality.

594

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

can go and have a look.

595

:

so since you've stopped, what are some

of the, you mentioned your granddaughter.

596

:

What are some of the joys that you think

have come into your life because you

597

:

made this decision and perhaps may not

have done had you not made this decision?

598

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Well, I can remember things the next day,

599

:

which is probably the best thing ever.

600

:

I can have a conversation the next day and

not forget what happened the night before

601

:

or what we watched on TV or whatever.

602

:

So I

603

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

604

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

wise, I mean, my age, my memory's

605

:

not brilliant anyway, but I

can at least recall things.

606

:

Um, and I'm not.

607

:

Fogged with with an alcohol brain and

608

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

609

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: up

refreshed and wanting to do things with

610

:

my life I feel more energized I look

forward to getting up in the morning and

611

:

now we're retired as well our holidays.

612

:

So

613

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

614

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

about It's about being able

615

:

to just do what you want.

616

:

I'm a little bit more, stronger in myself.

617

:

I feel like I'm, you know, if I want it,

you know, if I want to do something, I

618

:

don't, I don't really question whether

it's going to affect anybody else anymore.

619

:

It's more,

620

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

621

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

want to do it.

622

:

And that's that, you know, I feel

a bit stronger in that sense.

623

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

624

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, I'm not as groggy at all.

625

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

626

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

back and I thought, I feel fine really.

627

:

I'm still working and everything's okay.

628

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

629

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now, now that I've got rid of all of the

630

:

alcohol, I feel, I've noticed how much

brighter I am, how much better I feel.

631

:

and that's, you know, that's

definitely a plus point.

632

:

And if you guys want to look

younger, you need to ditch the

633

:

booze because it definitely helps.

634

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

It does.

635

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

636

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

It definitely does.

637

:

My skin was so much better within

quite a short amount of time.

638

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

639

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

also because when I stopped, I was sort of

640

:

replacing what I was doing in the evening.

641

:

So, I would go and do my

skincare routine when I stopped.

642

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

643

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I actually started looking

644

:

after my skin, whereas before I

probably fell into bed with it.

645

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

646

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

still on.

647

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

648

:

Yeah.

649

:

Yeah.

650

:

That's right.

651

:

True.

652

:

It's true.

653

:

Yeah.

654

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I know, but also having a little

655

:

bit of hydration in your body

656

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

exactly.

657

:

Yeah.

658

:

No, it's, it's, it's for me and

obviously for you as well, it's

659

:

the best thing you've ever done.

660

:

I definitely can honestly say I would

never touch alcohol ever in my life.

661

:

and I'm fine with that.

662

:

I don't have a problem with that at all.

663

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No,

664

:

absolutely.

665

:

I don't have any regret.

666

:

I don't ever look at someone having a

drink and think that I want to have that.

667

:

there are certain times of year where

I might see something and I'll get

668

:

that little flash where I think, oh,

and then I very quickly can correct

669

:

myself to, you know, that picture that

I've just had of that romanticized

670

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

671

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

in a.

672

:

pub garden.

673

:

Actually, for me, that doesn't,

that's not what that would look like.

674

:

So I wouldn't have one in

a pub garden and go home.

675

:

So I very quickly can recenter myself.

676

:

I loved what you said about basically

knowing yourself, you know, knowing,

677

:

knowing what you want to do and

having the confidence to, to do that.

678

:

And, you know, without any question.

679

:

And I think that sobriety really

has done that for me as well.

680

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

good.

681

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, I feel like, because I just

682

:

was so unsure of myself, I didn't

really trust myself or like myself.

683

:

I used to, I would sort of

question everything really.

684

:

Did I want to go there?

685

:

I wasn't very good at decision making.

686

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

687

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

thought I would get it right.

688

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: you

feel more in control, don't you, as well?

689

:

Definitely.

690

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

691

:

And a bit smug.

692

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

693

:

Oh, definitely that.

694

:

Yeah.

695

:

Yeah.

696

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We're allowed that, aren't we?

697

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Oh, absolutely.

698

:

I think we've earned it.

699

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We have exactly,

700

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But I

701

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

exactly.

702

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

thing I just wanted to mention,

703

:

and it's probably not a good thing,

but I've really gone into coffee.

704

:

So

705

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

706

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

drinking, I never really

707

:

bothered with coffee.

708

:

Oh gosh.

709

:

I've really got the taste for coffee.

710

:

And that's the other thing.

711

:

My taste has changed.

712

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

713

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, definitely coffee.

714

:

and I don't drink, after about two, 2 p.

715

:

m.

716

:

coffee, but I definitely appreciate

the different flavors of coffee now.

717

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

718

:

I love my coffee.

719

:

I have like a little sober ladies group

and we call it our smug in the morning.

720

:

Our little smug of coffee.

721

:

Because you just get up and you know,

often like my phone's binging at like 6.

722

:

30 these days with my

friends who don't drink

723

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

724

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

we're all sat there with the

725

:

lovely light coming up and having

a nice cup of coffee while everyone

726

:

else sweeps off their hangovers.

727

:

Particularly on a Saturday and

Sunday and it's a lovely feeling.

728

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

it is and it

729

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Sorry to all my drinking friends.

730

:

Oh dear.

731

:

Ah, well, do you know what?

732

:

We've, we've filled our half hour.

733

:

It's been really enjoyable and in a way

I'm quite glad now that our recording

734

:

didn't work last time because it's

been lovely talking to you again.

735

:

Yeah.

736

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: has

and it's great to get out there and I,

737

:

and I hope that of what I've said may help

other people, you know, for me, definitely

738

:

those alternatives, work for me.

739

:

There isn't really anything else that

works for me, other than the fact that

740

:

I've got my sister to help me, but I think

by now I could manage on my own anyway.

741

:

I don't desire alcohol at all now.

742

:

I've definitely gone past that stage,

but definitely if you can, it probably

743

:

will help to just have an alternative,

provided it is complete zero alcohol.

744

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, absolutely.

745

:

Have a plan, have an alternative, have

some confidence, and connection is key.

746

:

is good if you can get it as well.

747

:

There's lots of other ways.

748

:

If you, you know, if you're not

lucky enough to have someone close to

749

:

you who is trying to stop drinking,

there's lots of groups out there.

750

:

Um, so baristas I've mentioned on

podcast before, it's brilliant.

751

:

Um, lots of Facebook groups, sober

society, UK,, Mike, he's been on

752

:

here before, and spoken about.

753

:

that Facebook group, which he

set up, which is brilliant.

754

:

There's all of the Alcohol Explained

staff, Annie Grace, Victoria Vanstone,

755

:

so many different, people that you

can follow and connect in that way.

756

:

So yeah, get some sober buddies and go

for it because life just gets better.

757

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

does.

758

:

Absolutely, it does.

759

:

Yeah.

760

:

Congrat,

761

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

762

:

Well, congratulations and thank you

so much for coming on the podcast.

763

:

Much appreciated.

764

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

to you as well.

765

:

'cause yours is just three

years gone, hasn't it?

766

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

767

:

Three years it was on the 15th.

768

:

Yeah, that was really nice.

769

:

So I can't actually believe it if

I'm honest, but yeah, it's great.

770

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's another thing I would say.

771

:

Sorry, I've just realized that when you

get past a day and then before you know,

772

:

it's a week before, you know, that it's a

month and just keep saying, wow, that's a

773

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

774

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Wow.

775

:

That's six months and it soon passes.

776

:

And before you know, it's a year.

777

:

And by then, I think most people

will have conquered that by then

778

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

779

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

to their, you know, their

780

:

desire to stop drinking.

781

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Absolutely.

782

:

Celebrate every single day,

783

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Definitely.

784

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

every little milestone you hit.

785

:

I bought myself gifts

786

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,

787

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

for the first year.

788

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Better not tell my husband because

789

:

there'll be no room in the house left.

790

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: You

could book a little holiday every time.

791

:

It's a little milestone.

792

:

Yeah,

793

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's it.

794

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

that's it.

795

:

Oh, well thank you so much.

796

:

It's been lovely talking to

797

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and you, thank you so much

798

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you, Janet,

799

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: keep

800

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

care.

801

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

with the podcast.

802

:

I think you're doing an amazing job.

803

:

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Thank you.

804

:

Will do.

805

:

Bye.

806

:

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Bye.

807

:

Thank you for listening.

808

:

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

809

:

If this episode helped you, please.

810

:

Please like share and follow.

811

:

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

812

:

Dot com.

813

:

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

814

:

A F stories@outlook.com.

815

:

And don't forget.

816

:

You can make your catch phrase.

817

:

I don't drink.

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About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

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VICTORIA Banat