Episode 9

Vic and Gill - Sober, Alcohol free stories and finding natural highs!

Published on: 15th November, 2024

  Today Gill shares her story of how reading one book meant she could not un-see the reality of alcohol, and how joining a stop drinking challenge on Facebook changed her life for ever, leading to a successful coaching career and a new house by the sea!

Transcript
Speaker:

Hi everybody.

2

:

I'm Victoria.

3

:

And I don't drink today.

4

:

I'll be talking to jail.

5

:

Jail happened upon a book.

6

:

Book that changed her life.

7

:

She then joined a Facebook

group and it starts to.

8

:

Her journey to sobriety one day at a time.

9

:

Jealous now a sobriety coach.

10

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Hi Jill.

11

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Hello,

12

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Hello.

13

:

Very warm welcome.

14

:

Thank you for agreeing to

come onto my podcast today.

15

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Pleasure.

16

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: actually

contacted you through a Facebook group.

17

:

thank you for responding when

asked for you to come on.

18

:

It's really important because, the more

stories that we can get out there, and

19

:

they're all so different, might just be

something that someone needs to hear.

20

:

I really appreciate you coming

on and sharing your story.

21

:

So it's not always easiest thing to do.

22

:

so with that, be interested to

just hear a little bit about you.

23

:

what is your story?

24

:

and then we'll go on and talk about

some of the challenges and some of

25

:

the great tools that you've used.

26

:

So let's hear a little bit about you.

27

:

Yeah,

28

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

well, my story, I guess in my drinking

29

:

story goes back to probably started

drinking my first drinks around 14, which

30

:

is an age that you know at the moment.

31

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: I think I was

14 and I had my first little sniffs of

32

:

wine and maybe some, Martini Bianco or

something, I think it was, down the park.

33

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

think mine was cider, but it

34

:

was back in the 80s for me.

35

:

I'm quite old now.

36

:

So it was, back in the 80s and

life was very different then, you

37

:

know, you didn't need to produce

ID pubs and clubs and things.

38

:

so we would go out to pubs and

clubs at 14, you just had to put a

39

:

pair of high heeled shoes on a bit

of lipstick and then you were in.

40

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

41

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

you know.

42

:

partied quite hard, I guess,

really, from, from then.

43

:

stumbled through my late

teenage years and twenties.

44

:

Drink was always prevalent.

45

:

And I enjoyed it.

46

:

I've got to say I had fun, but

hangovers were never my friend, I'm

47

:

quite legendary for the bad hangovers

that I had, and you would think,

48

:

that would stop me, but it didn't.

49

:

It wouldn't be unknown for me

to be in bed the following day

50

:

after a session the night before.

51

:

throwing up all day,

52

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

53

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

that, to be fair, never really left me.

54

:

I went traveling in my 20s, and I moved

to Jersey for a few years, yeah, I

55

:

mean, in my 20s, I enjoyed life as well.

56

:

parties, drinking, everything

was always drink was involved.

57

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

58

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

pretty similar, like I say, moved,

59

:

went travelling, moved to Jersey,

had the best time, really enjoyed

60

:

my time, but was always there.

61

:

I moved back home to the

UK, and I met my husband.

62

:

he doesn't really drink.

63

:

He's, can have a glass, he can

open a bottle of wine and it take

64

:

him about three weeks to finish

it, which I've never understood.

65

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Congratulations.

66

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

challenges for me being

67

:

a step mom at times.

68

:

And, so there was always seemed to be

a reason to have a drink because I was

69

:

stressed or because I'd had a good day.

70

:

It was, I was, there's probably a lot

of people, very similar stories to mine.

71

:

you know, you celebrated,

commiserated everything with a drink.

72

:

As you know, as our marriage, we've

been married 16 years now, and it

73

:

just got habitual, you know, it

would be, I had couple of stressful

74

:

jobs where, which I really struggled

with the pressure and the stress.

75

:

So come Friday night, of course, I

was like, Oh my God, I need a drink.

76

:

I need a drink.

77

:

So I'd have a few drinks.

78

:

bottle of wine maybe on Friday night then

in the morning on Saturday do chores and

79

:

then sit down Saturday afternoon crack

open another one go into the evening open

80

:

another one my husband wasn't drinking

it with me it was just me that went

81

:

on for quite some time and that's it.

82

:

I guess we then led up to, Lockdown

was a time to be somebody who

83

:

likes a drink because there was

no need for that off button.

84

:

A lot of the time, you know,

could start earlier because,

85

:

well, what else were you doing?

86

:

so the drinking went up again

and towards the end of lockdown,

87

:

I knew I had a problem.

88

:

I knew there was an issue and did

I was this serving me well, you

89

:

know, I was completely knackered.

90

:

I was completely frazzled,

91

:

because I wasn't getting any decent sleep.

92

:

It was that continual, when you're awake,

you're sort of half hung over and you're,

93

:

you know, Life just feels a struggle

because you're not feeling at your best.

94

:

I also, went into the perimenopause

and really quite struggled.

95

:

towards the end of lockdown, I knew

I had to address this, and I didn't

96

:

really know how, the best way to do it.

97

:

I read a book and the

book really helped me.

98

:

And in fact, I had read the

book a few times before,

99

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay.

100

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it stuck with me a little

101

:

bit but I read it again.

102

:

And I joined a Facebook group, which

is a Facebook group where you message

103

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

104

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

which was set up by Sober Dave.

105

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it was set up by Sabre Dave.

106

:

I didn't know that.

107

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

initially it was an original group,

108

:

set up by sober Dave to, stop

nking for the month of May in:

109

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Aha.

110

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I thought, oh, I'll give

111

:

that a go see how I do.

112

:

And I thought, I probably

won't do very well.

113

:

I could always drop out.

114

:

It didn't cost anything.

115

:

I followed him on Instagram.

116

:

it just came along at the right time and

clicked I haven't had a drink since then.

117

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Wow.

118

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I gave up the day before the 1st

119

:

of May, so 30th of April, 2021,

and so grateful that I did it.

120

:

And I also, I can't even

explain how much better is.

121

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

122

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it was because some of the hungover

123

:

feelings I had around this time.

124

:

I mean, I had a lot in my

past actually were menopausal.

125

:

issues and you know when you start looking

into that whole area, hangover, menopause,

126

:

a lot of the symptoms are similar

127

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yes.

128

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

you've got a hangover with

129

:

menopause you're getting the

double whammy and it hurts.

130

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

131

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

after I was then able address my menopause

132

:

issues because it was quite clear what

they were and so life is just so much

133

:

nicer, so much calmer, I mean, I still

have stress, don't get me wrong, but

134

:

you can deal with it in a different way.

135

:

You can see things better.

136

:

You can see things clearly,

137

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

138

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

so much more present.

139

:

and I look back on all my years.

140

:

I've had, great friends and

everything in the past, but was I

141

:

always really present with them?

142

:

Probably not because we were

143

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

144

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

drinking, and you're all worried

145

:

about where your next drink is

rather than your chat and your

146

:

great time with your friends.

147

:

And so in a way, yeah, I do regret

leaving it so long, but I'm so

148

:

grateful that I actually saw the light

149

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

150

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

now I've been, however many years

151

:

it is three and I've Bit three and

a half years ish, and I don't feel

152

:

the need to count my days anymore

153

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: No.

154

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I'm just fine about it,

155

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

156

:

Yeah.

157

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

by people drinking around me go in

158

:

the supermarket walk up and down I

can buy my husband a bottle of wine.

159

:

I don't mind I'm at ease with it.

160

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

161

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Never

162

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Well, it's amazing, isn't it?

163

:

You become so calm.

164

:

it's so much easier to deal with things.

165

:

And yeah, I completely recognize that.

166

:

I feel like, I feel like somebody,

I don't meditate, but I feel like

167

:

someone who meditates in comparison

to who I was before I stopped.

168

:

I was always stressing and running around

like a bit of a headless chicken chasing

169

:

my tail because everything was harder

because I was tired and hungover or,

170

:

you know, I'd be planning a night out

171

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I used to get out of bed in the

172

:

morning and just think, Oh, I

can't wait to get back in here.

173

:

that's how I was starting my day.

174

:

And now I get out of bed quite easily.

175

:

I don't even set an alarm anymore.

176

:

I just get out of bed.

177

:

and I'm fine.

178

:

I mean, you know, There's times I

don't sleep that well, but it's,

179

:

life things thrown in, there's so

much more calmness and it's like,

180

:

I, I wish I could sell this reading.

181

:

Yeah,

182

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: said that it

would be good if you could bottle it and

183

:

sell that instead of booze, wouldn't it?

184

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: I

185

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

What was the book you read?

186

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it was Jason Vale,

187

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay.

188

:

Okay.

189

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it was written in the same sort of style

190

:

as, the Alan Carr giving up smoking books

191

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yes.

192

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it's written in the same sort of style

193

:

as that and I used the non smoking one

when I gave up smoking many years ago

194

:

that approach just seems to work for me

195

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

196

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it's sort of like, if you don't

197

:

want to drink, Don't drink.

198

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

199

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: gets

200

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: I know

it sounds quite simple, but it's

201

:

interesting because that's, that's sort

of what I say, whenever I meet people

202

:

who are right at the beginning and

they're trying often that will happen.

203

:

I'm part of a few different online

communities and one of them, um, we

204

:

regularly have people joining a WhatsApp

group that we're all on and, um, And

205

:

they'll sort of say, Oh, you know, how am

I gonna, how am I going to manage this?

206

:

And I said that at the beginning,

and there was a lady on the group

207

:

who just said to me, Because

you've said that you're not going

208

:

to drink for a hundred days.

209

:

So you're just not going to

drink for a hundred days.

210

:

And it was almost like, this is not rocket

science and you've said you're going to

211

:

do it and you're just going to do it.

212

:

And it was quite, it was fun, but it

was like, Oh, and podcast the other day.

213

:

Hello, Nick.

214

:

She's probably listened to this now.

215

:

and, it was almost that simple for me.

216

:

I think sometimes other

people, it's very different.

217

:

You get people who are on and off

and, but I was like, like you.

218

:

So I stopped, in January, 2022.

219

:

So I think I'm about six

months behind you probably.

220

:

and like you just went not anymore.

221

:

I'm just not doing it anymore because

it makes me feel terrible in every way.

222

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I really didn't think I would last

223

:

I had tried other times before

224

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

225

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I tried to do dry January, and come

226

:

the 7th of January, it's like, oh,

God, I really need to drink and

227

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

228

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

couldn't do it this

229

:

time around just worked.

230

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

231

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I think it's the mindset.

232

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

233

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

somebody did say to me, God,

234

:

you've got great willpower.

235

:

And actually, I don't

have willpower at all.

236

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: no,

237

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

If I had to rely on willpower,

238

:

I wouldn't be able to do it.

239

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah, yeah,

240

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it's a mindset.

241

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

242

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

and my mindset, I got in the right

243

:

mindset at the crucial time for me.

244

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

245

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it really worked

246

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

247

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I'm happy for myself.

248

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah, yeah,

249

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I've opened my life in that, I've

250

:

done so many more things and embraced

so many more things, you know,

251

:

thinks drinking is so sociable.

252

:

I found I've been so much more

sociable since I've stopped.

253

:

I'm having conversations with people

perhaps online, but they're quite

254

:

in depth, or they're informative

and there's a lot of learning

255

:

and it's really changed my life.

256

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: So what are

some of the things that you're doing

257

:

now that you perhaps wouldn't have

done if you'd have carried on drinking?

258

:

got new hobbies or a new job?

259

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

trained to do coaching.

260

:

with a view to doing, coaching of any

type, but alcohol free coaching, because

261

:

I just feel I want to help people

262

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

263

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

feel.

264

:

and that's something I

would never have done.

265

:

You know, it was learning for me.

266

:

It was, I mean, I'd outlasted an

exam, God, 40 years ago, if not more.

267

:

I wouldn't have done anything like that.

268

:

But what I've got from

that myself is huge.

269

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

270

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

huge.

271

:

doing this podcast, I just wouldn't have

contemplated doing anything like this,

272

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

273

:

Oh, tell me about it.

274

:

I mean, I set this thing up and I was

like, what am I actually doing here?

275

:

but do you know what?

276

:

I think you feel courageous.

277

:

Don't you?

278

:

You feel like You've conquered

something that lots of people

279

:

don't even try to conquer.

280

:

and I'm sure that you've had challenges.

281

:

I'll ask you about those in a moment,

but we all have various challenges for

282

:

me, things like Friday night, actually

five o'clock for me was a bit of a thing

283

:

because that in my head prior was the

time you were allowed to Have a drink.

284

:

So that was a bit of a barrier for me,

but if you can conquer that and still

285

:

be very happy and sociable and probably,

and more so actually than you ever were,

286

:

then I think, yeah, you just become, you

have this courage about you, don't you?

287

:

And this kind of pride about what

you've done that catapults you to

288

:

do other things, that's amazing

that you're doing sobriety coaching.

289

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yes.

290

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

291

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I love it because I just

292

:

want people to feel this.

293

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: do you

have a company that you do that with?

294

:

you can let everyone know if anyone's

listening, they can contact you.

295

:

Yeah.

296

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

up my own side hustle, at the moment,

297

:

It's called me and her coaching.

298

:

And that's meant to be

like a meander, meander

299

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: I love that.

300

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I'm on Instagram as me and

301

:

her underscore coaching.

302

:

And I've got a website, meandhercoaching.

303

:

co.

304

:

uk,

305

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay, great.

306

:

if anyone wants some sober

coaching, that's where you can go.

307

:

You'll find Jill.

308

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yes, I'll be

309

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

310

:

Oh, that's great.

311

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I'd never have done that, you know?

312

:

and I've met, so many more people and

those people are dotted around the world.

313

:

it's not just people, it's

people all over the place.

314

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

315

:

You just meet some

wonderful people, don't you?

316

:

Actually, this morning I went with a

dear friend of mine from Soberistas.

317

:

We went on a spa morning, the two of us.

318

:

And on the way to it, two of our

other friends, From that group,

319

:

phoned me They were together.

320

:

one of them had come, from Holland

to visit and, was visiting this

321

:

other lady who lives in London.

322

:

then me and this other one went

together and we've got a thing

323

:

planned for next year where there's,

there's someone coming from LA.

324

:

and it's just unbelievable.

325

:

These people are wonderful and

I would never have met them.

326

:

So, yeah, it's almost like.

327

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah.

328

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: start

drinking, I would say not, but yeah,

329

:

there's things that have come out of it.

330

:

It's quite good to see the positives,

isn't it, in, the whole thing.

331

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Well, I,

332

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: long,

333

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

one of my things I used to like doing,

334

:

was on a Saturday afternoon, I'd crack

open the wine put Place in the Sun on

335

:

the telly and drink my wine, watching

this, dreaming of, living in the sun,

336

:

because I'm not drinking now, we're not

going to the sun, but we are keeping

337

:

everything crossed at the moment.

338

:

We're in the throes of house selling

and buying a property in Cornwall.

339

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: oh wow,

340

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I couldn't have done that if

341

:

I was drinking, it wouldn't be

happening if I was drinking.

342

:

And you know, sort of almost

my dream I was dreaming of

343

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yes.

344

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

sort of coming true.

345

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: That's amazing.

346

:

I'd love to live by the sea.

347

:

There's something about the sea

that's a real draw for me as well.

348

:

In fact, one of the ladies that I

interviewed the other day, she's in

349

:

Cornwall and she set up a sober swim

school and they will swim in the sea.

350

:

I think she goes three times a week.

351

:

So I don't know how far that will be

from where you're planning on going.

352

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

exactly by the sea, but we won't

353

:

be far, 20 minutes maximum,

354

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

355

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah, but it wouldn't be happening.

356

:

if I was drinking, because if one

thing, the expense of drinking is huge

357

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

358

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

to, the quantity

359

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

360

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: was.

361

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

362

:

And I mean, it's

expensive, but I saved up.

363

:

I think it was after my 100 days.

364

:

I saved up and got myself a diamond ring.

365

:

But that's crazy.

366

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Oh my God.

367

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: It's

like, well, that's going to be my

368

:

little, I can look at that and think.

369

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: I

370

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: this

is nicer than sitting on the

371

:

sofa with a bottle of wine.

372

:

Sort of almost a bit of a waste

of time, when you look back on it.

373

:

it's hard to understand for me

now why that was such a draw for

374

:

me, because it just isn't anymore.

375

:

And, and then I, I could not contemplate

what it would be like not to.

376

:

Because it was just what we did and

all of my friends did it as well.

377

:

I don't think I was particularly unusual.

378

:

I probably drank more than my friends.

379

:

but I wasn't that unusual.

380

:

You know, there's lots of people.

381

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

have drank similar, you know,

382

:

perhaps not to the same extent as

me or perhaps the same extent as me.

383

:

But, yeah, everybody I've friends

with, I think has always drank.

384

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah, Me too.

385

:

And I'm like you in that it doesn't

bother me too much to spend time

386

:

with people who are drinking.

387

:

it's never been a problem for me.

388

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

until they start, if they go

389

:

to that point where it's got a

bit far and the, you know, the,

390

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah.

391

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

are getting a bit louder and the

392

:

stories are getting a bit wilder

393

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

394

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

does come a point, and I'm done, but,

395

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: But you can just

get in your car and go then, can't you?

396

:

That's the joy of being sober as well.

397

:

the only time I really don't like it

is if you're one on one with someone

398

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: hmm.

399

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: they've gone

past that point and then they just

400

:

become a little bit repetitive you're

sitting there thinking you just said that

401

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

To be fair,

402

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

just a minute ago

403

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

that very often, because don't

404

:

really go out much anyway.

405

:

I was always drinking at home.

406

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah

407

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

our sort of married life,

408

:

but I know what you mean.

409

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah

410

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Do you

411

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

412

:

So you found some unexpected joys.

413

:

What was your biggest

challenge with it then?

414

:

Did you have any, or did

you find it relatively easy?

415

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I, I honestly don't know that I had any

416

:

major, this time round, any major I think

because I joined the group, it gave me

417

:

a connection with like minded people.

418

:

and there was an

accountability there as well.

419

:

And I think that probably helped.

420

:

With regard to struggles, oof,

can't, I really, this time round,

421

:

I found it relatively easy.

422

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Well

that's really good to hear.

423

:

That's really great, isn't it?

424

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah, I can't say that

425

:

I had any big struggle.

426

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: And so the

connection must have been a massive

427

:

tool for you, without me realising,

428

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah, I

429

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

connection being there.

430

:

Yeah, is there any other sort

of go to tools that you've used

431

:

that have been helpful for you?

432

:

Did you drink non alcoholic

drinks or do you yeah, okay.

433

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I love, because sometimes you

434

:

want a grown up drink, you know,

435

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

436

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

even at home, you know,

437

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah Yeah, yeah,

438

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: I

like the non alcoholic lagers, various

439

:

different ones of those I haven't

really found a wine, that I've liked.

440

:

fizzy wines tend to be better.

441

:

In the non alcoholic

range than the still ones.

442

:

I think there's still a bit

of work needed on those.

443

:

and then there's the gin one.

444

:

I never drank gin.

445

:

I've never liked it.

446

:

But as a non alcoholic version, I

quite like, because there's a lot

447

:

of nice taste, and you know, you can

put nice mixes in or whatever, and

448

:

there's quite a lot of taste in there.

449

:

So I quite like that sort of drink as well

450

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: I used

to drink a lot more alcohol free

451

:

drinks than I do now obviously I

drink alcohol free drinks, but I

452

:

mean, you know, uh, imitation drinks.

453

:

When I first stopped, I

used to drink Naughty.

454

:

Have you heard of that?

455

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: Busy

456

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yes, the fizzy one.

457

:

Because it was quite dry.

458

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah.

459

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

460

:

And I liked that because I

liked a glass of dry rosé.

461

:

So for me, I needed something

that was kind of tart and dry.

462

:

And so that worked quite

well for me in the beginning.

463

:

And, also alcohol free beers,

because I wasn't a beer drinker.

464

:

So it didn't really matter to me if

they tasted like beer or not, but I just

465

:

quite liked that they were a version of.

466

:

And like you, the gin as well.

467

:

I just the other day bought

something is it mother root?

468

:

I can't remember what it's called it's

like a ginger and cider vinegar tonic

469

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

okay.

470

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: thing

which sounds really weird,

471

:

but it's actually really nice.

472

:

You have it with soda

water in it um, facebook

473

:

yeah, so that was amazing.

474

:

I was like, oh, she used to work for

a drinks company and apparently there

475

:

wasn't, there wasn't that many options.

476

:

So she set up this company.

477

:

Gosh, I should really get

the name right for that.

478

:

Anyway, I think it's Mother Root

or something, but it's a ginger

479

:

and cider vinegar type, which

sounds odd, but it's very nice.

480

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

one of the nicest, fizzy ones

481

:

that I had was Kylie Minogue,

482

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay.

483

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

fizz, there is a non alcoholic version.

484

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Right.

485

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

nice.

486

:

I bought that in B& M.

487

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay.

488

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it was

489

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

that's good to know.

490

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah,

491

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: lots more

out there than there used to be.

492

:

when I was talking to William Porter

yesterday, he was talking about Club Soda.

493

:

Have you ever been there in London?

494

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

haven't been there, but

495

:

I've heard of it, yeah.

496

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

I'm planning on going there.

497

:

I think I'm going to go there for

Christmas drinks this year because I

498

:

want to see this cocktail making stuff.

499

:

That sounds good.

500

:

Mocktails making stuff rather.

501

:

So that sounds good.

502

:

So do you still now then do you need,

do you listen to any podcasts or is

503

:

there anything that you would recommend

to anyone else that you listen to or

504

:

that you've read that might be helpful

for anyone who's listening who doesn't

505

:

know much about what's out there?

506

:

Yeah.

507

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I think there's quite a

508

:

variety of things these days.

509

:

the Jason Bales book, I

thought was brilliant.

510

:

I would recommend that to everybody.

511

:

because that is a bit of a mindset book.

512

:

I do listen to podcasts of all sorts.

513

:

Any that come out, to be honest.

514

:

I'm quite new to people

like over the influence.

515

:

I've just started listening to a couple

of their podcasts, when you start looking,

516

:

there's actually quite a few different

517

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: There's lots.

518

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

out there and some new ones coming along.

519

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah.

520

:

Yeah.

521

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

so so, but Dave has his podcast,

522

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

523

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

you know,

524

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

He's great, isn't he?

525

:

Yeah.

526

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

there's so many out there, that

527

:

don't need, you don't need spend

hours looking or searching.

528

:

Yeah, I'd listen to I mean,

the coach training that I

529

:

did was through Andy Rammage

530

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Okay.

531

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: he's

amazing with his alcohol free, messages.

532

:

I would

533

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

534

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

following him on Instagram

535

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: On Instagram.

536

:

Andy Rammage.

537

:

I'll check.

538

:

But yeah, that sounds good.

539

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

he's,

540

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I'm waiting that down.

541

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah, it was his training, coach

542

:

training that I did as well.

543

:

I saw that because I followed him

as an alcohol free, ambassador,

544

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

545

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: he's

so positive you just get his energy and

546

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

547

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

it when he talks.

548

:

and so there's so many out there.

549

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

550

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

sober everything these days.

551

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

It's great, isn't it?

552

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah.

553

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: It is good

that there's so much that you can access.

554

:

the lady who set up Sober

Easter, she's called Lucy Rocker.

555

:

She also, wrote a book, Sober

Revolution, which is really good.

556

:

one of the reasons she set that

up about 10 years ago is that

557

:

there wasn't really anything.

558

:

So it seems, from reading her book

and seeing what she's done It makes me

559

:

realize how much the world has changed.

560

:

So maybe that's why for me, it was, I

mean, it wasn't easy, but it, it was

561

:

possibly easier than it would have been

years ago because I had access to so

562

:

much stuff that normalized it for me

to be sober because we live in a world

563

:

where it's not really normal, isn't it?

564

:

So it's good to have this

whole community where it

565

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: It's

566

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: normal.

567

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah, it's definitely growing.

568

:

and I think when you start embracing

the whole thing and you start seeing

569

:

people, you do see people's energy

570

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

571

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

see that

572

:

on all of the, alcohol free pages

I follow on Instagram or wherever.

573

:

don't think I've seen

hardly anything negative.

574

:

Everything's positive.

575

:

And, It's such a lovely

thing to see really,

576

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

577

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

people wanting to help each other

578

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah.

579

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

everything's positive

580

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: it's mad

how many people when they've reached

581

:

a stable point in their society,

want to do something to help.

582

:

I mean, all the people that

I've spoken to, so yourself,

583

:

you're obviously a sober coach.

584

:

I've had Tiff, who's doing her,

she does the Sober Swim School.

585

:

Obviously, William was

talking about, his books.

586

:

Clearly, that's a big give back to.

587

:

society.

588

:

I spoke to Mikey the other day who

was talking about his Facebook page

589

:

and he just reached 5, 000 followers.

590

:

that's, incredible 5, 000

people that he's supporting.

591

:

there seems to be a thread where

you want to give something back.

592

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah,

593

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

positive place to be, isn't it?

594

:

And that bottling it you

talked about, because you just

595

:

want to tell people, try it.

596

:

a lot of people don't want to try

it and I wouldn't push it on anyone.

597

:

But if you think you're struggling, if

you think something's not quite right,

598

:

if you've Googled, do I drink too much?

599

:

I'd say,

600

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: you

601

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: probably do.

602

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah,

603

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

604

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

exactly.

605

:

and that's where I started.

606

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

607

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

is this a problem or not?

608

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah,

609

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah, by virtue of asking

610

:

the question, it's a problem.

611

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Oh, it's

been so lovely to talk to you.

612

:

what would be your top thing

that you would say to somebody

613

:

if they were thinking about it?

614

:

What's the best thing about it?

615

:

Being sober.

616

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

the energy, and clarity in life.

617

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah,

618

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

still has struggles, you know,

619

:

the ability to be able to deal

with those struggles is just.

620

:

It's so much better.

621

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: yeah, I

would 100 percent agree with that.

622

:

it's much easier to deal

with the downs, isn't it?

623

:

and it's a fallacy that you won't

have highs because you just will.

624

:

I mean, I've never been,

it's, you know, it's,

625

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

natural, that's the thing.

626

:

They're natural highs.

627

:

And the lows, I mean, there are lows

that people get, but if you're talking

628

:

from a drinking point of view, the lows,

you don't have them, as a sober person,

629

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: No,

630

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: way.

631

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: no, because

your dopamine is working properly

632

:

and you're able to bounce back.

633

:

I think resilience is a big thing that you

see in people who have stopped drinking.

634

:

my boundaries are much stronger now,

and I don't question everything anymore.

635

:

I'm confident that even if what I'm

seeing is a load of rubbish, it's my

636

:

load of rubbish, and I haven't just said

it because I've drunk four glasses of.

637

:

Exactly.

638

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

yeah.

639

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

It's a nice place

640

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

one other aspect that I think gets

641

:

slightly overlooked is that your whole

body gives you signals about things

642

:

when you're drinking all the time,

those signals, if there's something

643

:

amiss, can be ignored or not seen.

644

:

They're not seen.

645

:

I know from my point of view,

mine was menopause things.

646

:

I started having really bad headaches

and that was after I'd stopped

647

:

drinking I was having really bad

headaches when I was drinking.

648

:

And they were hangovers.

649

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: You

thought it was a hangover.

650

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

weren't, they were, well, some

651

:

of them were, for sure they were.

652

:

But you know, it was clouding.

653

:

issue with my headaches.

654

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

655

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I was having some hormonal

656

:

headache things, but

657

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

658

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

your body's giving you signals.

659

:

And if it's covered with alcohol,

those signals can't get through.

660

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah.

661

:

You can't read them.

662

:

You don't know they're there.

663

:

Yeah.

664

:

Gosh.

665

:

Well, well done you.

666

:

You're three and a half years

in and it's, you're honestly,

667

:

thank you so much for, yeah.

668

:

It's brilliant and you

should be celebrating it.

669

:

It's lovely.

670

:

I mean, I'm so ridiculously proud of being

sober now, I would wear t shirts that

671

:

say it everywhere and shout about it,

672

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I've got a sweatshirt says it.

673

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Have you?

674

:

Well, do you know what?

675

:

when I named this podcast,

676

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

Yeah.

677

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Sober

Alcohol Free Stories, it was the

678

:

cheeky part in me, so that it

could be shortened to Sober AF.

679

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yes.

680

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839:

I want that on a t shirt.

681

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

definitely.

682

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: so yeah, I did

find a t shirt online that said that, so

683

:

maybe I should wear it when I'm recording.

684

:

If we ever do decide to use

cameras, maybe I'll wear that.

685

:

Oh dear, well thank you so much Jill, it's

just been an absolute pleasure and I'm

686

:

sure your story is going to be familiar

to someone out there and hopefully

687

:

they'll think, well I can do it because

you've done it and it's obviously served

688

:

you really well, so congratulations.

689

:

squadcaster-7h0h_1_10-18-2024_172839:

thank you.

690

:

It's been great.

691

:

I've enjoyed our chat.

692

:

It's been

693

:

vic-_1_10-18-2024_172839: Yeah, me too.

694

:

See you later.

695

:

Bye.

696

:

squadcaster-bg06_9_09-21-2024_084137:

Thank you for listening to our

697

:

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

698

:

If you felt that it helped you, make

sure that you like, share and follow.

699

:

And leave a review on podchaser.

700

:

com.

701

:

And remember, make your

catchphrase, I don't drink

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Sober, Alcohol Free Stories

About the Podcast

Sober, Alcohol Free Stories
"I Don't Drink"
If you’ve ever googled “do I drink too much” this podcast is for you!

This is for those of you who end up wondering what’s wrong with you, questioning how your friends can possibly drink so slowly, or worse can just have one with dinner (aliens). For those of you who have tried to moderate, just a Thursday, only red wine, not before 6, not after 9, not if I’m wearing blue 😊

For those of you who secretly don’t enjoy the theatre because you know the show will be an interruption to a booze filled evening. For those who fall out with loved ones, lose handbags, feel lonely or shameful the morning after, wear sunglasses on the school run, or enjoy way too many mints for an average human. For those who need something to change but feel it it’s impossible to break up with their loyal companion – booze.

The good news is you are NOT weird, or alone, there’s millions of us, just like you. You CAN stop drinking alcohol. I know this because until Jan 2022 I was all the above, and now “I don’t drink”.

In this podcast we will delve in to what it takes to become alcohol free in a society that’s quite frankly obsessed with drinking! I’ll talk to people just like you and me, some near the beginning of their alcohol-free life, and some further along, but all with one thing in common, the courage to stare booze in the face and say NO, NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE! They will share their sliding doors moments, regrets, loves, pink clouds and the tools that have helped them to succeed.

We will show you that life without the “wine witch” is actually pretty amazing, how we all thought we were losing something, but what we have gained is insurmountable. We will share how our lives transformed, skin began to glow, sleep became deep and relaxing, bodies became healthy, relationships flourished, careers progressed, and our minds were at peace. WE will show you that you deserve the chance to be happy and free and turn what may seem impossible into possible.

Listen along and join me in making your catchphrase “I don’t drink”.

About your host

Profile picture for VICTORIA Banat

VICTORIA Banat